re: why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia
138 postsposted 23rd Jul
Quoting Mara: not true... i like your optimism, but there are more than a few pregnancies that are downright tragic... whether b/c they end in miscarriage/stillbirth or b/c the mom abuses drugs throughout.
I know you like to argue ..but I wasn't talking about miscarriages and all that. I'm not stupid, I know about all the tragic things that happen, I was simply stating that it is a beautiful thing having the ability to have a human growing inside of you.
I have 1 child & live in ?
17898 postsposted 23rd Jul
Quoting Corinne LaGore: I know you like to argue ..but I wasn't talking about miscarriages and all that. I'm not stupid, I know ... [snip!] ... things that happen, I was simply stating that it is a beautiful thing having the ability to have a human growing inside of you.
it's not arguing... (heheh)
i don't think you're stupid! if i did, i wouldn't bother responding.
i was offering a counterpoint perspective to the rather cliched mentality that pregnancy is a beautiful thing, when it can be far from it.
perosnally, when i became pregnant, it never felt beautiful to me... it was stressful and worrisome and strange-- alien even...
my son, on the other hand, is a beautiful thing.
I have 1 child & live in San Francisco, California
posted 27th Jul
okayy excuse me but i am NOT just another statistic. just because all these things say that teenagers are gonna be bad moms doesnt mean ANYTHING. i am 18 years old and i am exspecting a son and i love my son more than anything in this world, can you say the same? and honestly why are you worried about teenagers being bad parents there are PLENTY of BAD "ADULT" parents out there go bother them. or how about the bother the child abusers, and people who sexual abuse children and stop worrying about stupid statistics. im a proud momma and a proud teenager, no one asked for you opinion, i know PLENTY of teen moms who are WONDERFUL mothers so why dont you worry about more important issues like idk the fact that our economy is pooping out on us, there are people out there who sexual abuse and physically abuse children, there are homeless and hungry people why dont you worry about the people who need help and leave us "teenage bad mothers" alone kayy.
I'm due December 25th (a boy) & live in Alabama
posted 27th Jul
Quoting w.brandonsmommy:
who said you were a statistic?
and ... try reading a little more carefully, it would have saved you a lot of time in typing out this little senseless diatribe.
I have 1 child & live in San Francisco, California
19 postsposted 1st Aug
It is an insult to teen mothers and expectant mothers that we are classed as statistics because we are pregnant or got pregnant at a young age. I'm 19 turn 20 a month before i give birth, i'm still with my boyfriend and have been for nearly a year i do luckily have the support of my family and my boyfriends family.
I currently have a part time job, and will continue to support my child after i've had the baby through either that same job, or i will look for a full time one.
But it is unfairto say the teenagers who have no one there cant find the help and support they need from someone else they know, or the possibilty that they have a help centre that can give them the help they need. If i got kicked out on my ass it doesn't mean i won't look after my child, or even be smart enough to get the help that i would need from a specalised charity.
It's all about, growing up being smart and knowing what you've got yourself into, and i think when you pregnant i'm sure most teenage girls will say that they've had to learn a lot from it. I know i have, i may not have my own house, have the best job in the world or even have all the money i need, but i sure as hell will do the best i can.
quoteI currently have a part time job, and will continue to support my child after i've had the baby through either that same job, or i will look for a full time one.
But it is unfairto say the teenagers who have no one there cant find the help and support they need from someone else they know, or the possibilty that they have a help centre that can give them the help they need. If i got kicked out on my ass it doesn't mean i won't look after my child, or even be smart enough to get the help that i would need from a specalised charity.
It's all about, growing up being smart and knowing what you've got yourself into, and i think when you pregnant i'm sure most teenage girls will say that they've had to learn a lot from it. I know i have, i may not have my own house, have the best job in the world or even have all the money i need, but i sure as hell will do the best i can.
I have 1 child & live in Nuneaton, United Kingdom
18 postsposted 3rd Aug
erm i noticed someone commented that most of it is bull and then the original author said its all facts because it came from wikipedia
no offence but wikipedia can be changed by the public at will, so basically any tom dick or harry could log on and write crap on that site for other people to come along and take it for gosple truth
i know that lots of teen mothers do still think they can carry on with their old lives and do neglect theyre babies, but so do older women so it works both ways, and anyway its not down to age its down to maturity, the ability to be mature enough to deal with the situation in hand,
just so yall know im not trying to cause an argument
quoteno offence but wikipedia can be changed by the public at will, so basically any tom dick or harry could log on and write crap on that site for other people to come along and take it for gosple truth
i know that lots of teen mothers do still think they can carry on with their old lives and do neglect theyre babies, but so do older women so it works both ways, and anyway its not down to age its down to maturity, the ability to be mature enough to deal with the situation in hand,
just so yall know im not trying to cause an argument
I'm due January 4th & live in United Kingdom
posted 3rd Aug
Quoting kayley_baby: erm i noticed someone commented that most of it is bull and then the original author said its all facts ... [snip!] ... the ability to be mature enough to deal with the situation in hand, just so yall know im not trying to cause an argument
right... which, given the fact that teenagers are generally less mature by virtue of their age/development, means that they're at a higher risk of not being capable/able to do a good job.
which is why the stats-- which have all been backed up by research/sources multiple times w/in this topic, are so dismal when you look at them... b/c a teenager is never truly ready to be a mom in the first place... some of you will most certainly do a good job, but it's hard work and requires a LOT of sacrifice and the willingness to give up the next five years of any sort of independence whatsoever.
I have 1 child & live in San Francisco, California
3806 postsposted 3rd Aug
"
i would like to add something, when you said "b/c a teenager is never truly ready to be a mom in the first place. neither is alot of "adults". being a mom is a wonderful thing but can also be a scary thing, no matter the age!! and when you said "requires a LOT of sacrifice and the willingness to give up the next five years of any sort of independence whatsoever"....any mother (no matter the age) has to give up independence and their life for there child.
quoteQuoting Mara: right... which, given the fact that teenagers are generally less mature by virtue of their age/development, ... [snip!] ... work and requires a LOT of sacrifice and the willingness to give up the next five years of any sort of independence whatsoever.
i would like to add something, when you said "b/c a teenager is never truly ready to be a mom in the first place. neither is alot of "adults". being a mom is a wonderful thing but can also be a scary thing, no matter the age!! and when you said "requires a LOT of sacrifice and the willingness to give up the next five years of any sort of independence whatsoever"....any mother (no matter the age) has to give up independence and their life for there child.
I have 2 kids & live in Marion, Indiana
posted 3rd Aug
yeah maybe but there are some extremely mature teenagers around so theres no
and the only reason i posted is because it said it had all come from wikipedia and i knnow it to be true that it can be changed by the public
and i know it involves alot of sacrifice, but then im willing to sacrifice anything i have to for my baby so i dont need a lecture about sacrifice
and surely sacrifice and willing to give some thing up are the same thing??
quoteand the only reason i posted is because it said it had all come from wikipedia and i knnow it to be true that it can be changed by the public
and i know it involves alot of sacrifice, but then im willing to sacrifice anything i have to for my baby so i dont need a lecture about sacrifice
and surely sacrifice and willing to give some thing up are the same thing??
I'm due January 4th & live in United Kingdom
posted 3rd Aug
Quoting divaxXxmommy: " i would like to add something, when you said "b/c a teenager is never truly ready to be a mom in the ... [snip!] ... sort of independence whatsoever"....any mother (no matter the age) has to give up independence and their life for there child.
absolutely...no one is ever truly prepared, even if they are prepared. reality and imagining being a parent are two different things.
my point here is merely that b/c a teenager is young and immature by definition, the risk is significantly higher that they'll be unprepared/under-prepared and that their child will suffer as a result. you have to be willing to make a lot of sacrifices that other teens will not be making.
from the book "the wonder of boys", the author cites the fact that 95% of the inmates under the age of 35 living in prisons were born to teen moms. there's a reason for that...
babies/children thrive in consistent, stable loving homes. being a teenager is the opposite of being stable-- you're in a constant state of emotional, developmental, financial, educational, and bodily flux. bringing a baby into that mix is not ideal-- unless you've got a hugely supportive family that can provide consistancy and stability that infant/baby desparately needs.
I have 1 child & live in San Francisco, California
posted 3rd Aug
Quoting kayley_baby: yeah maybe but there are some extremely mature teenagers around so theres no and the only reason i posted ... [snip!] ... my baby so i dont need a lecture about sacrifice and surely sacrifice and willing to give some thing up are the same thing??
you don't know until you're a mom, what you're willing to sacrifice. it's all well and good to be think that you will now, but the demands on you and your time/patience will be incredible.
and no one is lecturing anyone. if you feel lectured right now, i'm a little worried about your ability to read your new baby's cries...
I have 1 child & live in San Francisco, California
posted 3rd Aug
i didnt say i was being lectured i said i didnt need a lecture
and actually i know im willing to sacrifice anything i have to,
as it stands now theres is nothing i do that the baby can not be added to
quoteand actually i know im willing to sacrifice anything i have to,
as it stands now theres is nothing i do that the baby can not be added to
I'm due January 4th & live in United Kingdom
posted 3rd Aug
Quoting Mara: absolutely...no one is ever truly prepared, even if they are prepared. reality and imagining being a ... [snip!] ... unless you've got a hugely supportive family that can provide consistancy and stability that infant/baby desparately needs.Yes some teenagers are immature, but ALOT are not. They may be before they have their baby, but once the baby is born, they realize they need to step up and take responsibility. I know alot of teen moms that just pawn their child off on there parents to raise, while they are out making more. But i also know alot of older parents who do the same thing! I give my children EVERYTHING they possibly need, and i dont have the best family in the world, not everyone does, but you have to realize its not about your support system its about your kids.
I have 2 kids & live in Marion, Indiana
posted 3rd Aug
Quoting kayley_baby: i didnt say i was being lectured i said i didnt need a lecture and actually i know im willing to ... [snip!] ... i know im willing to sacrifice anything i have to, as it stands now theres is nothing i do that the baby can not be added to
are you planning on breastfeeding (it is by far, a superior food for your child).
if so, let's have continue this conversation after you've been breastfeeding for about two weeks post partum... and you'll see what i mean.
i have a 16 month old-- and have yet to sleep more than two hours in a row since he was born.
I have 1 child & live in San Francisco, California
posted 3rd Aug
Quoting Mara: are you planning on breastfeeding (it is by far, a superior food for your child). if so, let's have ... [snip!] ... and you'll see what i mean. i have a 16 month old-- and have yet to sleep more than two hours in a row since he was born. Hes 16 months and still dont sleep well?
I have 2 kids & live in Marion, Indiana
