re: why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia

hmm.. i just got done readin this.. annd theres a lot you say that just is right out judgemental and negative. Just cause you look it up on wikepedia and get the so called "facts" does not mean that the majority of teen mothers are like this.. AH! and the part about my kid being more likely to go to prison or my kid being a pregnant teen just like me.. JUST because it happened to me.. is complete bull. Everything has to do with the surroundings and bringing up of the child.. I think a lot of what you said was just.... rude. And belittling the teens that stick it out and go through these hardships! Hearing the "statistics" and crap .. is that supposed to help girls?? No way. how will hearing all the negative statistics help a girl be more positive and really look into her future.. All your doing is making a girl look back on what she did.. and that is a step the wrong way. Step forward! Move forward! Grow from it.. learn from it.

 
it makes me sad to think that all this useless information is actually in a dictionary!
i have really strong opinon on allot of things said in here. The most important thing is that how easly one is juged and what message this is sending to other young teen parents. I believe that a mother who is 16 is just as good and knows just as much as on that 30!
i want to start off by saying im 19 years old i had my son thomas when i was 17 and now i will be 20 when my second child is due. i have had allot of critasim from people that are off the street i hear arent you a little young constantly and its kinda like how dare you for you dont even know me. i graduated school ontime with my first child and will be going back after the brith of of my second i also recieved noumerous about of scholorships. i took stars education and am working at a daycare right now and i can tell you i even know far more then some of the parents due that are older. thats why i find it extreamly sad that the statistics would say this. I mean come on of corse its going to be harder its never easy like i said even if your 20 your children dont come with instructions. I dident have a lot of support but i stuck it through and the reason i am having my second child is not only because i love the first and all that has come with it even the hard times but because i dident want to have my children too spaced out. Let my say this loud and clear not because i choose not to get on birth control. But then again so what what if it was is having an abortion better then choosing a life too me no nothing is! as long as these statistics are out there all they are doing is hurting the young mother that due try. i admit ther are some people out there that are not fit to be young mothersand positions that suck but dont give up there are people out there to help, and dont think just because a few people are judgemental that it stands for everyone! to me it not about the age its about what you truly want for yourself and i think that even if they did statistics on women of all ages and weather or not they are truly better i think you will get the same thing from any of them because having a baby is tuff its never easy and you always have to make changes!

Teen Pregnancy can be prevented...it's called Birth Control! I still don't know why girls are having sex so young...but if you are...get on birth control. And parents need to talk to their children about sex and birth control when they are still children! Who wants to go through all the criticism and troubles and hardships at such a young age? it's hard enough when you are of age! It's mind boggling!

audgrl22 wrote: Teen Pregnancy can be prevented...it's called Birth Control! I still don't know why girls are having sex so young...but if you are...get on birth control. And parents need to talk to their children about sex and birth control when they are still children! Who wants to go through all the criticism and troubles and hardships at such a young age? it's hard enough when you are of age! It's mind boggling!

Just so you know i think this comment along with the whole picture shouldent have even had been posted here Most of the girls on here are looking for help and support not someone who is going to criticise them to hell for the choices that have already been made! as far as im concerned i think that having a child is much better then useing abortion as a method of bith control and anyone who is goign to think that one sidely shouled not have posted such a nasty negotive remark who knows what people of gone through on here and who are you to judge

audgrl22 wrote: Teen Pregnancy can be prevented...it's called Birth Control! I still don't know why girls are having sex so young...but if you are...get on birth control. And parents need to talk to their children about sex and birth control when they are still children! Who wants to go through all the criticism and troubles and hardships at such a young age? it's hard enough when you are of age! It's mind boggling!

Yes. I'm due Oct. 11...I was on birth control lol. Nothing is 100 percent effective!! Other then abstinence of course.

No one wants to go through all the criticism and troubles...if there was more open minded people in the world we wouldn't go through so much trouble. I'm not saying I'm going to encourage a group of teenage girls to get pregnant. But it happens. And instead of making them feel ashamed or guilty for it, maybe more people should be supportive, give advice, give some words of wisdom.

well, I'm entitiled to my opinion too...And I do wish all the teen moms out there GOOD LUCK! you will need it...and so will I. What else can be said?

audgrl22 wrote: well, I'm entitiled to my opinion too...And I do wish all the teen moms out there GOOD LUCK! you will need it...and so will I. What else can be said?

Yes maybe you should be the one who gets the GOOD LUCK! Your poor child will be filled with critisism when i hope the girls on here raise there children to be proud and learn to except all even the ones who have doubted!!! im not saying your not entitiled to your opinion but you sure are not doing it in a respectable matter! instead you choose a place that girls come for advice advice because they are trying to be good moms. all i can say is maybe you could learn a thing or two from them

There are some very awesome points being made out there. I am 22 and am n6 weeks pregnant with my third. I didn't graduate high school either, but received my GED and am now going to a college to become a Medical Assistant with a GPA of 4.0.

I read everyone's responses and I don't believe anyone was trying to degrade, put down, or even promise that all teens mothers will fail. I think it started with one person who was trying to give support and advice. True google does list websites that only focus on the negative, but does anyone understand why? That's because those are the most popular and most frequented. That's how the search engines work. If you type in Pregnant teenager, you get much more helpful information. You just have to know how to search to get what you want.

Also, that's correct that about 100 yrs ago or more, women were married mothers running a household by 15 or 16. Society looks down on teen pregnancy now only because women have worked so hard to change it so that we are allowed to choose (not our parents), go to school, and become dependent on ourselves not a man. It is now our responsibility to change the current statistics so they show that we can still have children when we choose, go to school, support ourselves, be productive individuals with productive offspring, no matter what age we are. That includes deciding to wait until later in life.

I don't think it is fair to be offended for society coming down on you for being a teen mother and then turn around and put the same classifications on the older group of women who followed society's "rules" and waited till they where mature, financially stable, and had done the things they wanted to first.

I think we all need to understand that no matter what we do or how you do it, you can't please everyone. Your bound to offend or piss someone off eventually. Just do what you have to get where you need to be. Use responsible judgment and remember, you may be a teen mom and life might be hard now, but don't forget to have fun and enjoy it. This is your life and you only get one.




P.S.- kuddos to all who have done the hard stuff and do what it takes to get the job done. We need more adults, people period, with kind of tenacity.  

Looking at all the sites on the internet critising young mum's make me sad, I had my little boy at 15, BUT I also went on to take my GCSE's a year later, whilst making time for tutoring and looking after my son, Yes I was tired, worn down and wishing school could just be over and done with, but I have done a fantastic job bringing my son up, making sure he wants for nothing, but without being spoilt also. I am 17 now, still with my son's dad and pregnant with my second baby, my partner has a good job, good pay and I stay at home with our little boy, we have our own house, aren't financially unstable or in any way making life difficult for ourselves, I attend a mum's 'n' tot's twice a week so Ty gets plenty of stimulation and he's due to start nursery next year. My mum had complete faith in me when I fell pregnant and I proved all those wrong who doubted me and my decisions. Just 'cause I was 14 didn't mean I wasn't mature enough to take responsibilty for my actions, As far as I'm concerned if you think you're old enough to involve in such activities then you should also be old enough to deal with the consiquences. The moment I found out I was expecting I didn't once think about a termination. That should never ever be used as a form of birth control. And if you care to read statistics you'll find that the rate of older career wise women are the ones seeking abortion as it will interfere with their plans. I was never the sort for getting drunk behind my parent's backs, I never had interest in going clubbing or to parties it just doesn't bother me, I'm happy and content with what I have and how my life has planned out. NEVER look down on a teen mum unless they give you reason to, we make just as good mums as women twice our age, we're all new to it and we all deal with it how we see fit. Don't forget years ago it was compulsory to settle down with kids by the ages of 17/18 and 19 so why should it be any different now??  

I don't think it is fair to be offended for society coming down on you for being a teen mother and then turn around and put the same classifications on the older group of women who followed society's "rules" and waited till they where mature, financially stable, and had done the things they wanted to first.

I think we all need to understand that no matter what we do or how you do it, you can't please everyone. Your bound to offend or piss someone off eventually. Just do what you have to get where you need to be. Use responsible judgment and remember, you may be a teen mom and life might be hard now, but don't forget to have fun and enjoy it. This is your life and you only get one.

like i said above i am 19 i had my first at 17 and am now having my second unlike the satistics say my boyfriend and father of both my children and i are still together and have bought are own home together. We choose to have are second child so they wouldenent be spaced apart not because i just got knocked up! on top of all this we are working to sapport our family and i will be going back to school after graduating on time from high school child brith and all. Above i did decide to get mad for i feel it is unfair to come into a sight for these teens and put them through what they have to go through every day although you are not one of them i feel like i hvae to explain. i am 19 going to be 20 soon and i dont think it is unfair at all to be upset over a rude person i have never seen in my life to come up to me out of the blue in a public place and very rudly remark arnt you a little young to be having kids lpane and frankly i want to turn around to them and tell them were to put it but every time i walk away for i dont want to cause conflict in front of my son. Most of the time i give understanding it what people are saying and the fact for waiting i dont preach teen mamas as a matter of fact i go to my local high schools and advacate on the reasons not to gt knocked up.
What i said above though is true just because i woman is grown dosent mean she is any more equpied to have children they dont come with a gide book and all mothers have to learn the same way .experiance ! to come down to it i have meet some teen mothers who are brighter then some older mothers i have ment but no matter what socitey years ago said that 15 was the right age to have a kid now its not untill your mid 20's the bottom line is who gives a crap what society's "rules are just as long as the mother is responsible and for all those out there who jugde i am sorry for i am a little bitter for you are looking at a good teen mom so how dare you judge someone you dont know  

littleqt0787 (This isn't all aimed at you just the first part, the rest is aimed at the women who judge us) I agree with all you've said in your last post, luckily no one round my area has had the rudeness and impoliteness to come up to me and say anything.. It's such a shame that some of these older (and teenagers) condemn what we choose to do with OUR lives, There are alot of people in my old school who thought that just because I was pregnant meant I was a slag.. not true, I was (and still am) with a guy I love very much, Not once did he turn his back on his responsibilities.. People assume that all teen parents are the same, but that's not the case, Yes you get some girls who use babies as fashion accessories and that's wrong, you don't decide to keep your baby just to piss off society then dump responsibilities onto your parents, But at the same time, all these women/people saying we should get terminations are saying that because we're young our babies don't deserve the right to life.. why not? So let me ask allt hose who disagree with young mum's if your daughter came home to you saying she was pregnant, would you step back and let her decide whether she feels mentally, physically and emotionally ready to bring up a new life, or would you step in make her get rid and risk her hating you for the rest of her and your life? The more you mollycuddle a teenager, the more likely they are to get in trouble, I was lucky in the respect that my mum was furious with me, I would have hated to have a mum who was happy at the idea, I have many friends who's mum's encourage it.. But saying that NOT once did my mum assume I was going to have a termination, she couldn't have done it herself and so she knew my reasons for keeping my little boy, they have such a special bond now, and to think he wouldn't be here if many people had their ways'.

At the end of the day it's NEVER the baby/childs fault but those who were careless enough to let it happen, but saying that I would never condem my son as a mistake, just a welcome blip in the routine.. I'll say now I've never wished I'd gotten a termination that would have made me one of the lowest people and like the majority of teenage girls who are too scared to confide in anyone.

Don't judge, condemn and put us down just 'cause we don't do things the way some of you would like, I am a BRILLIANT mum and not ashamed to say I find it incredibly hard at times too, but I would at any age not just because I'm young, At the end of the day this is MY life, MY way and I'm happy with that.. same as you're all happy with your lives, stop calling us children then judging us, if you're trying to prove you're the adults then act it, bullying and condemning is not acting like mature grown up women.

Society has never changed, we've moved the goalposts to adapt it to our way of living, and what was once seen as normal is now seen as outrageous.

Just get on with your lives how you want to, and let us get on with ours how we want to.

Ok I have read most of these posts on this site and there are alot of things that I beleive are false and positive. First thing to think of here is think back about 100 years ago. It was normal for women to get married and have kids at the age of 16 that was the age that women "grew up" Yes the man was there married to her, but she ran the households and took care of the children and so on and so forth. So adolenscense in my mind is not what causes ANY problems. What I beleive the problem is is the lack of respect that young people are taught these days. I know everyone is looking at me going you are 19 years old! How can you say this stuff.

Regardless of my age, I grew up in a very shitty home. My father left after my mom found out she was pregnant at 16. My grand-parents at first were not happy but they did not abandon their child. My mom went to school and the school kicked her out right before she gave birth to me because it looked horrible to have a pregnant senior on stage at graduation (bullshit huh). She worked 2 jobs and still had a difficult time. My mother ended up getting mixed up with the wrong crowd after she had me. Abusive boyfriends to both her and I, drugs, alcohol, and constant sex. My mother had my brother when she was 20. I was 3. His father left right after he found out she was pregnant. More abuse, more drugs.

Finally, my grandparents took us kids away from her and took care of us until she could raise us herself. I moved out when I was 15. Never failed a grade, never a bad child. I LEARNED from my mothers mistakes. I am now 19 years old. I have been in the Air Force for 2 years. I have a career, my own home, a college degree in nuclear, biological, and chemical warfare. I am doing fantastic. Plus I am getting ready to have a little baby girl of my own. The only bad thing I have acquired over my lifetime has been cancer. possibly a side effect of my mother's misuse during pregnancy.

What I am tryign to say. It is not the health, the age, or the maturity level of the women. It is the lack of respect and responsibility in today's society. Everything has gotten ridiculously controlled. I remember when you could go outside and play for hours in the park and not have to worry about getting molested or kidnapped. It is the fact that the second someone is faced with responsibility for their own actions they run. My father ran, my brothers father ran, and in alot of cases of these young girls on this site, the fathers are running. Anyone think to put the blame on men as well. Speaking sweet telling them they will never leave nad they love them. The only thing they have their mind on the whole time is SEX and getting into that virgin crotch. I am speaking from not personal experience, but the experience of most of my friends from home. In the same sense women have less respect for themselves as well. Stop having sex knowing the consequences and not being able to handle them. Like this young girl (17) having sex with a 36 year old man with 3 kids. STUPUD... stop being stupid. Stop having sex. Stop trying to get attention. You want to be different than the statistics. GO TO SCHOOL, FINISH SCHOOL, GET A CAREER, a life, a love BEFORE you start thinking about children. If you have sex PROTECT yourself. Its not just pregnancy to be scared with- pregnancy is a miracle not a mistake. God is a part of a miracle. A mistake is HPV, AIDS, HIV, gonorhea, herpes, chlamydia.

A child is just a fear. The others are possibly death.

If you are pregnant. Take care of yourself. RESPECT YOUR UNBORN CHILD. Eat healthy. STOP SMOKING. stop doing drugs. Your baby might be ok when it is born but who is to say 10 years down the road they dont get cancer or athsma. Stop being stupid teenagers ( I can say this because technically I stil have teen at the end of my age). You dont need a cigarette. I was an avid smoker. The day I found out I was pregnant I quit. I do not want to give my baby girl the same problems I have.

If you cant respect that child enough for that then you dont belong having one. If your parents walk away from you because u are pregnant. Forgive them-they are scared too. Find friends... thats what we are here for. That is what I am here for anytime. I will give my cellphone number to girls if you need someone to talk to.


To any women out there who have ciritized every young female out there for their mistakes. Think about this. You will never help the world if you dont lend a helping hand. You are just another ASSHOLE who thinks they know how life should be. Well stop thinking. This is the way it is. So instead of making it worse and putting fear and hate in these young girls minds.... HELP THEM! Women are strong and we need to stick together. We have the babies. We push those men out and we give them 85% of their life. Everyone has a mother and I guarantee no matter how much the mother fucks (pardon my language) up those little boys LOVE THEIR mothers. We run the world women!!!

Thats all I have to say!

i agree with some of the things you say some teen parents are not mature enough to have children. I dont argee with doing drungs drinking or whatever more could harm any ones unborn child. I think that you have had a pretty bad life growing up the way you did, but i think allot of your negotivity to young moms is based on that. Not all stories turn out like your case and not all young moms lack disapline or respect. Im 19 going to me 20 but i had my first son at 17 and hes wounderful and bright i never did any thing to harm him while i was prego and i never will do anything to harm him in his life his father never left me and yes we struggle now and then but for the most part we are very happy we own are home have two dogs and work just like any other fam. i guess the point i have been trying to make on here it that the satistics my say something and like you there are people that my have had bad life experiances from there teen parents choices, but the bottom line is that not every one shares the same story and people need to understand that there are some good teen parents out there that are recpectible and take very good care of there children. I stated in another comment that i can take peoples rude comments, "like you dont look old enough to have children"that i have at least heard 50 times along with many other comments, but i think its unfair to judge someone just because of other stories there are many teen moms that feel depressed by hearing this. Although i am not one of them to me it makes me stonger on proving every single rude person wrong, butit may honestly be someone saying this that turns another good young mom into one that feels worthless. People are always at diffrent points in there life and i know that sometimes its hard to understand esp. when i feel like sometimes that it is my place to step in and tell a young parent that i dont think what there doing is right its hard for me but i still have learned to turn and walk away it dosent matter what age in life there are always going to be unresponsible people in this world. I am just asking that next time you see a tee mom dont be the first to judge and rember that not all of us are bad and when you see a good young parent telling someone that there doing a good thing instead of trying to look foor the bad my change one of there lives!  

It's so nice to see not everyone on here looks upon teen parents badly.. Bear in mind that the "statistics" on google, wikipidea, news and any other places the subject is brought to light rarely focus on the positive points of being a teen parent. They highlight the negatives because it makes for good reading therefore bringing in more viewers/page views.

Anyone who says we cannot look after our child/children properly just because we are under the age of 20 is so wrong.. Not all of us drink, do drugs, and sleep with any man we find, I for the best part know a few girls like that and it makes me sick to think about what they're doing to their children's lives.

I haven't had a particulary bad upbringing, my dad left when I was 6 months then returned only to have a string of affairs then leave my mum for good in 1998 when I was 8 and my older sister 10, in light of the way things were with my parent's, the constant arguing, my dad's drug use and dealings and never seeing him, my mum has done a bloody good job bringing up two kids whilst my dad f***** off with his new family, having gone through all that as a child I know I would never put that upon my little boy, seeing and expiriencing first hand the grief and upset it causes makes me want to be the most brilliant mum to my little boy (new baby) ever and I will go out of my way to make sure they have a healthy, happy upbringing.

My child wants for nothing, he is one of the happiest children my family have ever seen, he's friendly, he knows to share, he knows when he is in the wrong and will go out of his way to make it better in a way only toddlers know how.
These 2 years have taught me so much about life, taught me that there's more to life than drinking, drugs and parties.. I myself have never touched a single drug, seeing what it does to my dad and my sister, and I drink only small amounts and if Tyler is in someone elses care. I've lost many friends through my decisions but in my eyes they were never truelly friends. True friends have stuck by me as have my mum's side of the family.

Please don't look down on us just because we have children young, I have gone out of my way to prove to everyone who ever doubted me that the choices I made were the right ones, whats more I know myself that they are and I have never been happier.

Motherhood is daunting at any age, and teens aren't the only one's to f*** up. The news today is filled with grown adults abusing their children, Only this week has a 43 year old man been sent to prison for murdering his 5 month old son "for crying to long".

What I'm trying to get across is we're all equal, no matter how young or old we are. We all make mistakes in life but a child is not one of them, a child is a blessing, and for those who choose to ignore that well that's their loss, but the majority of us are brilliant parents. I'm proof of that