re: why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia

both of my children were planned. I love them and take care of my son and myself to have another healthy baby. just because i have two under 24 months that makes me a statistic, like i said call me a statistic i take better care of my children then most 30 year old parents, i am not a drug addict, i am not abusive, my son is 10 months old and knows every part of his face, he can walk , and say 15 different words, if i am a statistic i am one of the best

I have a hard time checking these threads as regularly as I'd like to, so if anyone has comments/suggestions/advice, please inbox it to me so I get the opportunity to read it. ^_^;

I'm a 'teen' pregnancy, being 19, but it's a strange situation, with me having gotten married 5 months prior to becoming pregnant, and my 20th birthday being more than a month before my due date. (Married at 18, pregnant at 19, mommy at 20. Busy couple of years. xD)
I would really like to not be one of those girls who have their first child and pop out another one right after, so if anyone knows anything about birth control you can use while nursing, I'm trying to collect all the information I can get. I'd love to be able to use condoms, but my husband's allergic to latex, and the latex-free ones will be a bit out of our budget with the baby, especially with how often we. . enjoy each other's company. So I need something hormonally safe for my daughter, as well as, preferably, something inexpensive for me.
I'd also love any advice on handling normal experiences of raising a child. Except for my best friend's little sisters, I've never really had the opportunity to spend time with anyone under the age of about 10. While it's nice that my husband worked in a daycare for 4 years, there are probably many things I need to know that only another mother will be able to explain to me.
Thank you so much. ^_^

Quoting Dreyja:“ I have a hard time checking these threads as regularly as I'd like to, so if anyone has comments/suggestions/advice, ... [snip!] ... there are probably many things I need to know that only another mother will be able to explain to me. Thank you so much. ^_^”

this is precisely the attitude that will help ALL teenagers (you're not really a teenager any more, but i'm going to use you anyway) fight the statistics.

the realization that being a parent takes humility.

you're not a great mom just b/c you pop a baby out.  you're not a great mom just b/c you take your kids to their well-doctor appointments.  you're not a great mom until your kids graduate from high school w/ stars in their eyes and the knowledge that their parents have given them the best possible start into this crazy modern world.

dreyja: i recommend the mirena IUD (intrauterine device).  it's a five year contraceptive w/ a small amount of local synthetic progesterone being released into your uterus.  it's safe for breastfeeding mamas.  it's not cheap, but much cheaper than another child (w/out insurance it's $800).  you may cramp a bit, spot a bit, lose your period altogether (tragic, i know!), but otherwise, it's pretty awesome once your body adjusts after the first month or so.

regarding kids: there's a lot to learn if you've never been around them.  

but if i had to tell you five critical things about the first years, it'd be this:

1) breastfeed-- and do it on demand.  you won't sleep through the night for the first few months, but you will have a happy healthy baby who is very bonded to you. 

2) when your baby cries-- it is for a GOOD reason. something hurts, they're scared or lonely, they're diaper needs to be changed.  they cry, b/c they have no means of communication and it is the only way they can share their concern w/ you.  so pick them up, soothe them, check their diaper, breastfeed them, and imagine what it would be like to be in a world where you understand absolutely nothing and have no ability to move or get what you want ... try to make that world as safe, peaceful, and consistent as humanly possible.  

3.  be patient.  be more patient than you've ever been.  never yell at your child in anger or frustration.  keep putting yourself in their very very helpless little shoes and remember that they rely on you to feel safe, warm, and fed. 

4. smile and talk to them in a happy voice... let them know that they are loved and adored and hold them as much as you can.  think about this: in cavemen times, if a baby were left alone, they would probably be eaten by a wild animal. babies who cannot crawl away from danger feel very unsafe if they're left physically alone from their mothers.

5.  the second half of the first year will be amazing to watch.  they will become physically independent and start to understand you... until then, you are their ultimate protector and the sun and moon in their life.  give love freely w/ no expectation of anything in return.  your baby will adore you for this. 

i have never been so in love w/ a little pure human as i am w/ my six month old son... he's an utter delight to me-- and has been unbelievable easy b/c i have respected his state of mind from birth-- which is one that is confused, easily scared, and in need of constant comfort and love.

good luck!

Quoting Mara:“ this is precisely the attitude that will help ALL teenagers (you're not really a teenager any more, ... [snip!] ... state of mind from birth-- which is one that is confused, easily scared, and in need of constant comfort and love. good luck!”

Oddly enough, I get lots of sleep at night! I breastfeed exclusively and my daughter and I co-sleep. I nurse her lying down and it is seriously a lifesaver. She wake up 2-3 times during the night to eat and I just pull my shirt up, she latches on and we both fall back asleep right away. I've heard that your body releases sleep enhancing hormones into your body helping you and baby fall asleep quicker. Emmie NEVER cries in the middle of the night. And she NEVER gets "up"... only to eat. I know she's only just over 2 months old but I def. got lucky so far. I'm always well rested. 

Quoting - Kat & Emmie - [[BBC]]:“ Oddly enough, I get lots of sleep at night! I breastfeed exclusively and my daughter and I co-sleep. ... [snip!] ... NEVER gets "up"... only to eat. I know she's only just over 2 months old but I def. got lucky so far. I'm always well rested. ”

ah ... i can't really bf lying down.  and max is the same-- he just feeds (w/ his eyes closed).  he's a really easy baby but still does his two night feedings.

Quoting Mara:“ ah ... i can't really bf lying down.  and max is the same-- he just feeds (w/ his eyes closed).  he's a really easy baby but still does his two night feedings.”

I think it might be easier for women with large breasts. I dunno what size yours are but I find because I have big boobs I've never had any trouble with it.
Emmie's easy too. She wake up 2-3 times during the night but that's expected for a 2 month old.

Quoting - Kat & Emmie - [[BBC]]:“ I think it might be easier for women with large breasts. I dunno what size yours are but I find because ... [snip!] ... never had any trouble with it. Emmie's easy too. She wake up 2-3 times during the night but that's expected for a 2 month old.”

yeah... small boob woman here.  one of the very few drawbacks to it is the whole bf-ing lying down really isn't a comfortable or easy option.

Quoting Mara:“ yeah... small boob woman here.  one of the very few drawbacks to it is the whole bf-ing lying down really isn't a comfortable or easy option.”

yeah that's the one good thing about big boobs and breastfeeding.. otherwise when Im sitting up, I usually have to hold my boob so I'm not smothering her face. I could never just hold my daughter up to my chest or walk around with her while doin it which I hear some very skilled women can do.

I know that I'm dropping in on this thread rather late, but I have a few things to say.

Mara, I completely understand -and applaud you for- why you posted these statistics. A lot of girls have become defensive over this subject, but the fact of the matter is, the statistics are true. It's sadly, the way our elders, and generations before us, look at the teen pregnancy 'epidemic'.

All of you ladies who've responded thus far, I am sincerely glad that you are being responsible and taking the steps you need to be healthy, happy, and stable. I realize that I'm no longer a teen, but having been a "teen mommy", I can relate to a lot of the posts made. It is up to the women of today to make a difference for the women of tomorrow. We need to wipe out the current statistics and replace them with new, fantastic, numbers.

I know that it might be difficult at times, and none of us are perfect, but we are able. These numbers are, unfortunately, accurate; And until we do something about it, they won't change. The views of society today, can only be swayed by motivation and determination.

I wish the best of luck to ALL of you, and hope that you all have happy and healthy pregnancies and years to follow.

Much love and respect-
Ash

[EDIT: If any of you gals reside in Northern Colorado, I'm co-owner of a non-profit group called "Young Parents Of Northern Colorado". We do playdates, meet and greet's, birthday parties, lunches, daycare swaps, item/clothing swaps, and so much more. Sometimes its nice to make new friends for ourselves and children. Let me know if you'd like to join.]

I plan on breastfeeding exclusively whenever possible. Of course I believe there will be days, probably when she's a few months old, where I'll have to pump what I can and leave milk and formula with a family member who's offered to babysit, but breastfeeding is definitely a priority for me. (I'd also love any advice on pumping, breastfeeding, etc!)
Other than my planned vacation with my husband, though, before he gets deployed, I really can't think of many other occurrences where I might need this, but I'm trying to plan ahead.
I also plan on keeping her in a moses bed next to me while I sleep. I toss and turn a lot, and don't really feel safe keeping her in the bed next to me, but I've gotten really good practice at waking up over and over during the night, (Not only to go to the bathroom, like, 5 times, but also to hush my cat. I think he's afraid of the dark. xD), so hopefully I'll be ready for that.
Idea: If I have trouble nursing lying down, do you think it might be a good idea to invest in a recliner? My friend has an 8 month old son, and she'd fall asleep nursing him sitting up, but that looked a bit uncomfortable.

Thanks for the advice about Marina. I'll do some research and talk to my doctor about it. So far on google I've found a lot of websites talking about many horrible side effects they don't mention, but as far as I can tell, that goes with a lot of different birth controls.
Here's a link to what I've found to be most informative so far, but I'm not sure how reliable the writer is. http://www.virginiahopkinstestkits.com/mirenareport.html

I'm also going to do a search and see if there's a moomy/baby group here in Oregon. That sounds like such a brilliant idea.

Thank you all so much, again. I really don't know what I'd do if I didn't have the reassurance and advice of baby-gaga and it's more helpful members. ^_^

Quoting Dreyja:“ I plan on breastfeeding exclusively whenever possible. Of course I believe there will be days, probably ... [snip!] ... I really don't know what I'd do if I didn't have the reassurance and advice of baby-gaga and it's more helpful members. ^_^”

I sleep with a TON of pillows, so I would always make a little nook, so that I could semi sit up but semi slouch over, when I breastfed her. I also would put a boppy pillow around my waist, and let her rest on it. It made it comfortable for both of us, so I could grab a few minutes of sleep while she ate. I lost my supply, after many attempts with medication, herbal remedies, home remedies, etc, after only three months, though. I hope that I can breastfeed this little one for at least the first year.

Pumping was hard for me, as I had a very very low milk supply. However, there were ALOT of tips and tricks I learned at the breastfeeding clinic through my local hospital. Every time I felt engorged, I would pump [assuming baby didn't want to eat.] I got a great little plastic freezer storage container at target, and froze everything I pumped. This way, if daddy needed to feed her, or if I needed a family member to watch her, or even if i was just running super low that day, I had a good supply to supplement with. They also taught me to put my feet up while feeding [either on a nursing stool, a stack of pillows, or something of similar height] her sitting up, because it would make for a more comfortable and natural position for both her an I. I don't know what I would of done without the nursing clinic!

I had a Marina IUD between my daughter and this pregnancy. It was amazing as far as birth control goes. I didn't get a period at all. Which meant no cramps, no bloating, etc. I couldn't feel it, so there were no comfort issues, and I didn't gain a ton of weight like I did with the shot/pill. I had medical problems which resulted in having to have it removed, though the complications were not caused by the IUD itself. I'm pretty sure I'll be getting another one once I have my little one.

What makes you an authority on the subject? It's fine to quote statistics, which any educated person knows can be made to show whatever the researcher intends them to but why then continue with paragraphs of your own worthless and insulting opinions. Maybe the statistics are right,but anyone can post to wikipedia.Is it only young women who diet or all women? That make poor contraceptive decisions because their sex education was lacking? I think any woman reguardless of age can be guilty of that. Get off your high horse, everones different and will raise their children the way that they think is best.

Quoting blondie and baby:“ What makes you an authority on the subject? It's fine to quote statistics, which any educated person ... [snip!] ... be guilty of that. Get off your high horse, everones different and will raise their children the way that they think is best.”

hmmm... i'm not on a high horse.

which insulting opinions?

and regarding wikipedia and the fact you obviously haven't taken the time to read through this thread:

i just picked a well known source and kept it simple for the sake of my readers. 

these statistics are sadly (for many teens and their children) not bull at all. 

here are some other studies/sites for you that reaffirm/back up wikipedia: 

talking about poverty and teens and how their kids are not graduating from high school: http://www.pregnantteenhelp.org/articles1.html 

• Unmarried teenagers having children account for 24 percent of all unmarried expectant mothers.
• More than 2/3 of all teenagers who have a baby will not graduate from high school.
• Billions of dollars are spent taking care of teenage mothers and their children and they are more likely to be in the poverty bracket. On the flip side, millions of dollars are spent in prevention programs.

from the official site that is the national campaign to prevent teen pregnancy 
you can download full length studies that look at the cost of teen pregnancy on the mother and on their children ... in summary they state: 

"Teen childbearing in the United States costs taxpayers (federal, state, and local) at least $9.1 billion, according to a new report by Saul Hoffman, Ph.D. and published by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Most of the costs of teen childbearing are associated with negative consequences for the children of teen mothers, including increased costs for health care, foster care, and incarceration." 

The Abstract for "Care of Adolescent Parents and Their Children" as published in the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2001 states that: 

"Adolescent parents and their children represent populations at increased risk for medical, psychological, developmental, and social problems, as previously described.1 In 1997,there were 489210 live births to 15-to 19-year-old females in the United States.2 The myriad concerns associated with adolescent pregnancy and potential obstetric and perinatal complications are summarized in a separate statement.Prevention of adolescent pregnancy and identification of factors that improve outcomes for parenting adolescents and their offspring are gaining increased visibility as the numbers of younger adolescents in our population are increasing. 

anyway, if you'd like more information on just why this is not bull i'll be happy to keep posting. 

wikipedia is not always a reliable resource on all things out there, but on such a well-studied and wide spread phenomenon as teen pregnancy, they have no problem (as i did w/ google just now) accessing reliable sources for surveys and statistics which -- not surprisingly at all, indicate that teens are not in an optimum position to be parents. 

but that's obvious-- an adolescent is not financially, mentally, or emotionally mature -- they may be relative to others in their peer group, but relative to themself, every single teen mother out there who's lived to see her twenties will tell you that it was a difficult journey and one they would be better equipped to take if they had waited. 

reality is: pregnancies happen b/c teenagers have sex so i've posted this to open the eyes of those teens not yet ready to face the magnitude of the responsibility they face as parents-to-be. 

it's a struggle to be a good parent even if you've got all the money in the world, a stable home environment, and 25 years of living experience under your belt. 

if you'd taken the time to read this thread you'll see many young women on here who've defied the statistics... who've put their nose to the grind stone and done their damnedest to raise their kids well despite having few resources at their disposal. 

the statistics aren't bull, but neither are those women who've defied them. it's important to educate yourself to know what you're facing. that's all.

I don't think I'll have a problem keeping a spare supply of milk around, unless something changes dramatically, because I've already gone up almost 3 bra sizes, and I am, at this moment, leaking tons of the pre-nursing white/clear/yellow fluid all over the place. xD So that advice should really be a great help, thank you.

I also talked with my husband about us preventing another pregnancy too soon, and he's decided that he wants to get a vasectomy. Since he has testicular and prostate cancer, and thought he was sterile since early middle school, he's already adjusted to the idea. (I'm really glad he didn't get all 'I'm not sterile? Oh em gee, must keep breeding.) Besides, since the operation was supposed to make him sterile, he had sperm saved in a sperm bank, so if we do decide to have another baby some day that option will stay open without him having to get a reversal.
Of course, this means we have to talk his doctors into it, wait for his insurance to come through, and us other methods of ejaculation besides just sex until he gets a 0 sperm count from the doctors twice, (I did research. ;3), but he says that'll just give us an excuse to be more creative. ^_^
I really feel that I got lucky when I married my husband. He's probably the most understanding person I've ever met, and from what I hear from other couples, it's because of him that this pregnancy has been so amazingly easy for me.
Awe, I feel all mooshy and stuff. Blah. xD

Quoting - Kat & Emmie - [[BBC]]:“ Oddly enough, I get lots of sleep at night! I breastfeed exclusively and my daughter and I co-sleep. ... [snip!] ... NEVER gets "up"... only to eat. I know she's only just over 2 months old but I def. got lucky so far. I'm always well rested.”

OHHHHHH I hate that.. My son is two months old exclusively breastfed and not one night has he slept through the night   I was trying to wean him back to his room for about two weeks but I got so tired of walking down the hall nursing then nearly falling asleep on the floor. So back in the bed he went