re: why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia

Age does not define how well of a mother you will be.
I am 17 with a one year old, and I will be 18 when I have my next baby.
A teen mother could be a far better om than a 30 year old mother. A teen could be into drugs,partying ect and the 30 year old clean and healthy. But the teen could be clean and healthy and the 30 year old a crack head or something. Everyone, of all different ages have different maturity levels, most people who become pregnant and keep the baby become mature very fast, the ones who dont I feel bad for. I refuse to be a statistic. The way I see it, unless you have mental problems or a disability, the first time is the first time. When its your first time your going to have to learn, some things come naturally, sometimes nothing comes naturally. I am a teen mother, I have not had any help from my family, in fact me and my family dont speak, not because of the baby, I know you'll asume. I have raised my daughter on my own, I have struggled with financial problems, Ive been the one careing for and her making sure she sleeps at night and is fed. I have financial help from my fiance but hes 22 and living at home, because his parents are very religious, we are moving in together in a month. He is a genuine person with a great paying job. I am in school and taking care of my baby at the same time, im not a drop out, I am attending an adult school in september like everyone else . The school offers on-site day care. I am in a program called LEAP (learning, earning and parenting) I am also ina program called rose of durham for young moms, a good place to get out and socialize with other moms, while your baby can socialize with other babys too. All of the struggles im going through and will go through as a mother are some of the struggles older mothers will face too, no matter what your financial status or situations you face some of the same challenges as a mother, as parents. It doesnt really matter what I say, some people are stubborn and just cant see how a teen can be a mother, its sad to asume. You know how many times ive seen a young mother taking care of her baby and showing love, and then seen a older women doing everything wrong? too many times. We all have our opinions on parenting, they are always different from everyone elses, we do things the way we want. The only problem with teen parents are that they are honestly too young, they should be focused on their futures and finding them selves, but you know what things DO happen, and you have to face the consequences, condoms and other "protection" are never 100 % if you dont want a baby just dont have sex, and who will listen? But a baby, or 2, or 3 or however many at any age should never stop you from making an effort to go to school, to work, to be a good person and better your self, there are resources.

Quoting Mara:“ Duvalmomma, it's not bull-- these facts are real. you're one of the lucky ones-- b/c you did have ... [snip!] ... from their family and friends, fall apart when it comes to parenting on top of all the other demands they're going through.”

those facts are bull. plenty of rich people in their 30's beat and neglect their kids. there is probably way more people over 20 who beat their children than under20. people just look down on it more and call more attention to it because they are young.

Quoting Kaylalicious:“ those facts are bull. plenty of rich people in their 30's beat and neglect their kids. there is probably ... [snip!] ... 20 who beat their children than under20. people just look down on it more and call more attention to it because they are young.”

please provide the evidence for these statements. until you can, i'm going to have to go w/ the statistics that i've sited as i've never seen stats to contradict them.

Quoting Mara:“ please provide the evidence for these statements. until you can, i'm going to have to go w/ the statistics that i've sited as i've never seen stats to contradict them.”

i KNow kids who have been beaten and neglected... you dont need stats to prove somthing that you see. a statistic is a made up number that they get based on a surevy of like 1000 people... and theres about 6 billion in the world. theres NO way that people who make these "statistics" have been able to talk to everyone in the world young and old to ask them if they beat thier kids. "statistics" also say that 1 in 4 people over 15 will contract HPV in their lifetime... thats not nessicerily true... its an estimate, not a fact. thats what a statistic is.

I strongly disagree with a lot of the things on this post and not only the wikipedia part either.
A. I left school with 8 Pass GCSE's and have worked ever since.
B. I will love and already love my baby even though they are not here yet.
C. Unlike what you beleive, I was on birth control for 3 years before PLANNING my child and WILL be having the implant after this baby.
D. I am with partner.
E. I have never ever had any kind of diets or poor nutrition I have always eaten healthy.
F. (this is getting silly) Mothers that are on the news for losing children due to not looking after them are in the majority of cases over 25.
G. Women allover the world are married with children by the time they are 14 and are among the best mothers I have ever seen!
H. (Even I'm getting bored now) A "bad" mother can be any age, despite what people think statistics are not facts that apply to everyone.

So thats only some of my resonings. When my mother had me she was 18, and did a fantastic job raising me and had my sister 8 years later. My mum was the best mum i could wish for despite her age. It's about time people stopped giving younger mums a bad press, if a woman can concieve a child at 16 what makes her so incapable of rasing him/her?

Quoting Mara:“ AUTHOR'S NOTE: Because of the many responses I've received from intelligent and concerned teenage mothers, ... [snip!] ... the world a better place. Please feel free to reply with all and any thoughts you have on this posting! All the best, Mara”

Im 14 and pregnant, and I am VERY offended by this. Half of these people who think that teen mothers are "doomed" dont know half the struggle we have to go through. Dont judge us just because we are young. We are no different than you, we are human just like you, and we have feelings. Not ALLteen mothers are druggies or drop-outs or anything else like that. Im still in school, i get straight a's, and im not a drug addict. I think your statistics ar VERY wrong. There's over a billion people in this world and how many did you... I guess "quiz"?!?!?!? Not very many. We dont need you to tell us what you think!

Quoting Rockabilly Mamma:“ Im 14 and pregnant, and I am VERY offended by this. Half of these people who think that teen mothers ... [snip!] ... people in this world and how many did you... I guess "quiz"?!?!?!? Not very many. We dont need you to tell us what you think!”

If you believe you are not a statistic then do not feel offended by this, she is not judging she is going by written statistics. and she has the right to write what she likes because she is the owner of this site.

Quoting Rockabilly Mamma:“ Im 14 and pregnant, and I am VERY offended by this. Half of these people who think that teen mothers ... [snip!] ... people in this world and how many did you... I guess "quiz"?!?!?!? Not very many. We dont need you to tell us what you think!”

nobody knows the struggles you're going through but you and those you're close to...

but that doesn't mean we can't make a pretty good guess based on the fact that you're finanically unstable, still getting your basic education (hopefully), still learning how to navigate the world as more than a child while still being legally less than an adult, and have a brain that is still developing it's ability to make decisions, handle emotions, and think critically about abstract moral and ethical isues... not to mention the fact of the unlikliness of whatever relationship led to your pregnancy actually lasting long enough for your child to be raised in a stable emotional environment (at least in terms of their parents).

i never said that ALL teens are anything... i just sited the statistics-- from reliable and valid sources as a warning about what you're up against... b/c i want to see you and your children flourish despite the many difficult challenges you now have in front of you.

if you want me to pat you on the back and tell you congratulations, you're going to have to wait until your child graduates from highschool and is heading out to college/gainful employment as a healthy happy young adult.

Quoting LeannexPeanut:“ if a woman can concieve a child at 16 what makes her so incapable of rasing him/her?”

Alot of things. Nobody said that a teengae mother won't unconditionally love their child. But children need more than just love.There are alot of factors that go up against you. How are you financially? Are you even making above minimum wage? Chances are, probably not, because you don't have enough work experience and you don't have a degree to base an income on. How is your housing situation? Are you living by yourself or with your baby's daddy or still with your own parents? Are you even still with your baby's father? Most young men don't want to be committed to their baby's mother for the rest of their when they're only 16 years old. What about your own education? If you don't set the example to get (at the very least) your high school diploma, how can you expect your child to do it? And admist getting a degree and working, when are you there for your child or setting up play dates so they can develop mentally and emotionally? A babysitter shouldn't replace you as a mother.

That's the difference between a 16 year old and 22 year old with an AA degree (or higher) who has a both parents under the same roof and makes more than 30k (or more) a year.

Quoting Collin'sMom:“ Alot of things. Nobody said that a teengae mother won't unconditionally love their child. But children ... [snip!] ... 22 year old with an AA degree (or higher) who has a both parents under the same roof and makes more than 30k (or more) a year.”

i understand what your trying to say and i agree to an extent evben though I am 16... i do only make minumum wage... and yeah im still with my parents... nop im not with the father of my baby, and no he did not leave me. i left him because of the way he was choosing to love his life. so in those aspects you are 100 percent right. but you DO NOT need a college degree to raise a child correctly, and i think that would offend millions of people who are doing just fine finacially and are raising there children. and judgeing someones parenting ability on thier income is also an unfair staetment. not everyone has an opportunity to go to college... or to get an "aa degree" but that does NOT mean that those people shouldnt have children, and it definintly does not mean that they will be bad parents. so i do agree with you, but not completely i think poeple need to be more open minded, and understand that not everyone is a statistic.

Quoting Kaylalicious:“ i understand what your trying to say and i agree to an extent evben though I am 16... i do only make ... [snip!] ... agree with you, but not completely i think poeple need to be more open minded, and understand that not everyone is a statistic.”

I agree with you in that you don't need a college degree to raise a child properly. I don't have a college degree, I couldn't afford it and my parents couldn't pay my way. But I'll say I make 2500 a month on my own, and even that isn't enough for me to live on my own. I need my husband (who also doesn't have a college degree) to help support us financially, and that's without a child to pay for. I was just saying with a college degree, you have a better chance to make more money because your employer sees you as more qualified. And, it sets a good example for your child to have high standards for themself. My sister in law is a stay at home mom, didn't finish college. Her husband is a janitor, didn't even get a GED. They live in low income housing and still my inlaws have to help pay for their electricty, gas, little expeneses you don't think about- like brakes for your car or a new tire to get to work. That's the importance of some sort of education, it helps pay more. It's not essential to raising a child but it sure does help. Imagine being a teenage mother going to school 35 hours a week just for a high school diploma, plus working to support a child...it gets so much harder. Add in a baby's father who didn't want to be tied down at 16 (and probably doesn't have a job to help pay child support or doesn't want to spend his paycheck on a baby he doesn't know, and the courts won't force him to pay because he's a minor), and so you have to rely on a babysitter to help raise your child. It's not fair to the baby or the babysitter for them to be responsible for their emotional and psychological development.

Quoting Rockabilly Mamma:“ Im 14 and pregnant, and I am VERY offended by this. Half of these people who think that teen mothers ... [snip!] ... people in this world and how many did you... I guess "quiz"?!?!?!? Not very many. We dont need you to tell us what you think!”

I think you post proves that you are unfortunatly, very young, very inexperianced and going to be very very surprised come april. You dont have to be all defensive (even though that is the definition of a teenager) when someone with more life experiance tries to provide ADVICE. Not judging just ADVICE. I've watched this form for awhile and its so interesting to me that you can tell who the young teens are who are just Pregnant and who those are who have their kids because the statements change so much.
At only 14 years old you have sooooooo much yet out there that you dont even know about. I was a teen mom I thought I knew what I was in for I was damn wrong. Dont be defensive and push away good advice from those who have gone before you. ya everyone has to make their own mistakes in life but at least try and learn from those others make. Think about this. Your only 14 that means your going to have a SIX year old... a child starting the FIRST GRADE before your even old enough to drink legally. How will you manage college while also trying to manage the early years of your childs education? SOO much can change year to year. Not every teen mom is going to be part of the negative statistic but every teen mom will be SOME type of statistic. Either those who make it or those who don't.
Having strait A's doesn't mean your ready to take on parenthood. It means your a good student.

Quoting Vincent&Victoria's Mommy:“ I think you post proves that you are unfortunatly, very young, very inexperianced and going to be very ... [snip!] ... make it or those who don't. Having strait A's doesn't mean your ready to take on parenthood. It means your a good student.”

words of wisdom there.

i've got college and some grad school and a respectable income and i still find parenting incredibly challenging.

i cannot imagine what it would have been like to do it as a teenager still trying to get my own life together w/out any financial stability.

Wikipedia is not a reliable source to recieve information from because of the fact that anyone can edit and change the information of the site. Im in college on NONE of my professors allow us to use Wiikipedia because anyone can edit it.

Quoting My Cadaman's Mommy:“ Wikipedia is not a reliable source to recieve information from because of the fact that anyone can edit ... [snip!] ... the information of the site. Im in college on NONE of my professors allow us to use Wiikipedia because anyone can edit it.”

this is like the 10th time someone has said this.
read the whole thread.