re: why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia

Quoting Mara:“ i originally posted this in this thread, but feel it's important to share w/ all of you : I'm currently ... [snip!] ... it is a shame and too often a tragedy to be unable to raise your child(ren) in a loving, stable, and healthy environment.”

I would have to agree with this, Mara. I will admit that I was ignorant to the prison statistic. And with the exception of abusive environments, I feel that contining to live with parents is a good choice. I do think it's irresponsible to "pawn" the child off on a family member to go out and party and be irresponsible.
My experience with many teen moms, including tons on this site, it that they don't educate or prepare themselves for caring for a child. Many don't read books, do research or even read the entirity of this thread and make many careless avoidable mistakes. By remaining in their parents' households many of the behaviors can be corrected.

I think it's awesome you post these statistic and suggestions in TP. Hopefully it can broaden the minds of some.

Just by passing over many posts, I agree and disagree with a lot of things. My Mom was a young teen mom, dropped out of highschool got her GED(is now a manager at a big credit union), married my paternal father, and is an amazing mother. She would've done anything for me and still will... Now that I'm going to be a young mother (I'll be 19), I know what to do and what not to do, granted I will be living at home for a little while it's still doesn't mean I'll be just getting my families help. Who is going to get up in the middle of the night to breastfeed, not my family, it's me. I daily take vitamins, go to the doctors regularly...I wonder even if I'm too much of a worry-wart. I don't know I guess it just upsets me that wikipedia only bases some of their research on the bad and not the good. I also understand that not everyone wants to be a teen mother and takes it out on their child...But sometimes if something as big as wikipedia is going to do research, gather equally from both sides. I do understand that it is hard to be a very young teen mother, but I do think it has a lot to due with maturity and howmuch you really care to educate yourself about a child...

Quoting Navy Wife & Expecting #1:“ Just by passing over many posts, I agree and disagree with a lot of things. My Mom was a young teen mom, ... [snip!] ... teen mother, but I do think it has a lot to due with maturity and howmuch you really care to educate yourself about a child...”

Wikipedia doesn't only "report the back." They're statistics based on the AVERAGE teen mother. That, by no means, includes all teen mothers. The point of Mara posting this is to inspire teen moms not to be included in the statistics found on wikipedia.
I'm glad that you and your mother don't fall into that category but your situation is not the norm.

Quoting Mara:“ i agree with ash here, there definitely needs to be more support... i think one of the main problems ... [snip!] ... a parent will be the most potentially rewarding experience of your life. and go and be the best damned mothers you can be!”

I think this was a great idea post. I dont think by any means you were trying to come down on the pregnant teenagers. whats done is done. its a hard pill to swallow and like you were saying it does give us a lot more responsibilities to have. but its nothing something we all cant do. i think yes a lot of us girls were not as careful as we should have been. and i think this will be one of the biggest lessons we will ever learn. so i agree with everything you said. its not putting us down. its just the facts. so girls stop being so touchy. 17 while i got pregnant too. senior year. and its all a matter of how mature and smart you are to show that your child comes first. its not just about you any more. and just remember everything you do,eat,smoke,breathe. your little one does too.

so the best of luck to you young moms. or the soon to be moms like me.

I realize nobody has replied to the topic for a little bit, but I'm fairly new and as it seems Mara's does also, my heart cries out to all the young girls out there facing motherhood as a teenager. It seems to be epidemic; and it's sad to see, but I will say that for every pregnant teen out there I believe she has already won the first battle by choosing to allow her child to live. It's easy to bring a child into this world with no intention of devoting your life, energy and love into raising them, but society has made it far easier to think that killing a child is the way to go. I have seen young moms come to be wonderful mothers raising great kids, despite the statistics, and I have also seen the heartache caused from abortion. (Is that a whole other topic??   )
Well I was 18 when I had my first child, still a senior in high school, and had my second just before he turned two. So trust me the statistics ring true. I did decide to step up to the plate, I had a little support but not much, so I took what I got. I married my boyfriend and we happen to expecting our fourth child. I love them all SO much, but it has been a LONG, HARD road! Being a parent that young affects much, even in the years ahead. Our relationship was very strained the first few years of marriage, and somewhat still, much from past drama, us not having good parents to model; you know, all that baggage!  And here's a statistic factor for you: My husband's mother was pregnant at 16, had her four children in four years, and then her husband left her. All of them became parents or had abortions BY the age of 16! That scares me to death to think of what legacy is passed on to my children; all I know is it will be up to us as parents to BREAK that cycle and to start our own legacy.
Well I could say loads more, but I realize I'm on my own little soapbox here, and I'm not even sure why I'm up so late (most likely the heartburn, bleh) so I'm just going to call it a night!  

I am a proud teenage mother! BeforeI got pregnant i was nothing but a high school dropout, Ispent my days and nights partying with friends,I had no job, and no education, I was going nowhere for about a year,thenI met my husband, and a year laterat age 17 I found out i was pregnant...the second i saw the results of the pregnancy test i put my cigarette out, and since that dayI've not touched cigarettes oralcohol. Two weeks before I gave birth i graduated High School (After working my a$$ off for months studying).Today my daughter is5mos 3 weeks and 2 days old, andI'm expecting another baby in December, I've started online nurses classes and me and my husband work very hard to make a good life for ourselves and more importantly our children.I love my daughter more than life and I've changed everything about myself and my lifestyle to accomodate for my daughters wellbeing...I do everything in my power to make sure shes always satisfied...so maybe to wikipedia im a screw up teenage mother, but when im holding my daughter and im looking in the mirror i see a grown women.

Quoting praying for a healthy boy:“ I am a proud teenage mother! BeforeI got pregnant i was nothing but a high school dropout, Ispent my ... [snip!] ... to wikipedia im a screw up teenage mother, but when im holding my daughter and im looking in the mirror i see a grown women.”

Good job.
i was doing great in school [as i do it online through the alternative school in my district] and once i found out i was pregnant ive worked my ass off doing as much as i can before my son gets here. if i keep up with my 4.0 gpa and keep working my ass off because the program gives you credit according to the hours you put into each subject i will hopefully start college in December or Janurary. I wont have my diploma yet but the college program Ill be doin is to get my diploma and associates degree at the same time in two years. I get to choose what my degree is under and i want to take early childhood education courses as well as secretary ones.

Quoting Mara:“ AUTHOR'S NOTE: Because of the many responses I've received from intelligent and concerned teenage mothers, ... [snip!] ... the world a better place. Please feel free to reply with all and any thoughts you have on this posting! All the best, Mara”

i think thats crap actually, theres TONS of great teen mothers.
im am such a PROUD TEENAGE MOTHER and theres some 30 year old mothers that dont take care of their children half as good as teenage mothers do.
& alot of teenage mothers dont drop out they take care of there children and make the best of there lives.

wow i am so glad that i will not be part of that statistic. I feel lucky actually after reading it. I don't feel that my parents did a poor job raising me and that is why i am pregnant, i actually feel the opposite, my parents did an excellent job raising me and my three siblings even though my mom had my sister when she was 17, and her and my father had nothing and no help from their parents and they managed to over come and own a big beautiful house and make enough money to buy all their children cars...teenagers have sex it's a fact and even when protection is used pregnancy still happens but it doesnt mean that they are doomed to poverty. I live with my fiance in an apartment that we pay for, we both have our own cars (my parents rewarded each of their children with automobiles once they graduated high school) and we take care of each other, although my parents do help as well as his, which i think is most important
it makes me so mad to hear that any parents would kick their child out and refuse to help them just because they are pregnant, yeah it can be unfortunate but they should get over it and realize that life is unpredictable and not everything is going to go the way you planned.

I beleive that alot of statistics are made up. My mother was a teen mom, she had her first at 14 and her 5 by 21. while most statistics did apply to her that doesn't mean that i am doomed to the same fate. yes i am a teen mom, yes i'm pregnant with my second child, but my son as more attention given to him than alot of kids. he is extremly intellagent, i'm not just saying that because he's my son his vocabulary and speech is far more advanced that other kids his age. I''m the first person in my family to graduate high school in a long time. I have a job, a great relationship and my own place. i don't think a person's age should even be a part of deciding how good of a parent someone can/will be.

Quoting YayaAsh:“ So all I can say about the post above mine is WOW! The part I like the most however is: I completely ... [snip!] ... situations. At least you were giving advice and not simply posting the negative aspects of it all. Best Regards, Ash[/quote]”

The great things is, is that Wikipedia can be changed by any ol ding dong that comes along and deems it okay to change the info. I had my first son at 17, although it wasnt planned, and I had no parental support I made it through and I live and work on my own. I am now expecting my second child and I am happy about it. I wouldnt trade my life for anything. Who cares what the general public thinks about Teen moms? We do the best we can.. 

Quoting aidens_mommy_5808:“ i think thats crap actually, theres TONS of great teen mothers. im am such a PROUD TEENAGE MOTHER and ... [snip!] ... mothers do. & alot of teenage mothers dont drop out they take care of there children and make the best of there lives.”

reposting what i posted.

it's great you're proud... that doesn't make the statistics false:

i just picked a well known source and kept it simple for the sake of my readers.

these statistics are sadly (for many teens and their children) not bull at all.

here are some other studies/sites for you that reaffirm/back up wikipedia:

talking about poverty and teens and how their kids not graduating from high school: http://www.pregnantteenhelp.org/articles1.html

• Unmarried teenagers having children account for 24 percent of all unmarried expectant mothers.
• More than 2/3 of all teenagers who have a baby will not graduate from high school.
• Billions of dollars are spent taking care of teenage mothers and their children and they are more likely to be in the poverty bracket. On the flip side, millions of dollars are spent in prevention programs.

from the official site that is the national campaign to prevent teen pregnancy
you can download full length studies that look at the cost of teen pregnancy on the mother and on their children ... in summary they state:

"Teen childbearing in the United States costs taxpayers (federal, state, and local) at least $9.1 billion, according to a new report by Saul Hoffman, Ph.D. and published by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Most of the costs of teen childbearing are associated with negative consequences for the children of teen mothers, including increased costs for health care, foster care, and incarceration."

The Abstract for "Care of Adolescent Parents and Their Children" as published in the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2001 states that:

"Adolescent parents and their children represent populations at increased risk for medical, psychological, developmental, and social problems, as previously described.1 In 1997,there were 489210 live births to 15-to 19-year-old females in the United States.2 The myriad concerns associated with adolescent pregnancy and potential obstetric and perinatal complications are summarized in a separate statement.Prevention of adolescent pregnancy and identification of factors that improve outcomes for parenting adolescents and their offspring are gaining increased visibility as the numbers of younger adolescents in our population are increasing.

anyway, if you'd like more information on just why this is not bull i'll be happy to keep posting.

wikipedia is not always a reliable resource on all things out there, but on such a well-studied and wide spread phenomenon as teen pregnancy, they have no problem (as i did w/ google just now) accessing reliable sources for surveys and statistics which -- not surprisingly at all, indicate that teens are not in an optimum position to be parents.

but that's obvious-- an adolescent is not financially, mentally, or emotionally mature -- they may be relative to others in their peer group, but relative to themself, every single teen mother out there who's lived to see her twenties will tell you that it was a difficult journey and one they would be better equipped to take if they had waited.

reality is: pregnancies happen b/c teenagers have sex so i've posted this to open the eyes of those teens not yet ready to face the magnitude of the responsibility they face as parents-to-be.

it's a struggle to be a good parent even if you've got all the money in the world, a stable home environment, and 25 years of living experience under your belt.

if you'd taken the time to read this thread you'll see many young women on here who've defied the statistics... who've put their nose to the grind stone and done their damnedest to raise their kids well despite having few resources at their disposal.

the statistics aren't bull, but neither are those women who've defied them. it's important to educate yourself to know what you're facing. that's all.

most of that shits fcuked up.

Quoting aidens_mommy_5808:“ most of that shits fcuked up.”

yeah it is but that doesn't make it untrue.

I do not care for TEENAGE statistics, I am a 19 year old mother of one son and with one on the way. I am married and we live on our own, there are ADULTS that cannot do that, who shouldn't even be called mothers... maybe you should go out of your way and applaud those teenage mothers that know maybe it shouldn't of happened this early but grew up and took responsibility for their actions.

My mom had me at 17 and raised me and my brother all alone, she was a damn good teenage mom and I am proud of that. You are taking away glory from these teenage moms who busted their ass for their children. There are mothers who graduated college waited until they were 26+ years old to have kids and where did their children stay?? in daycare's and with babysitters... piece of shit moms who did not care how their children felt.