re: why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia

This is not an attack on the person who posted this. However, i am 18 and pregnant with my first child, i will be 19 when i give birth. I am 6 weeks away from graduating high school, i have a full time job, my own car, and my fiancee and i have been together for nearly 5 years. We are also a few months away from signing papers on a brand new home. So we are clearly 'equipped' to be parents. And although we are financially ready, i still resent the fact that people frow upon 'teenage mothers' Why does anyones age matter??? What matters is your willingness, dedication, patience and love. And if you believe that you are set and ready to be a mother, dont let anyone else tell you differently.
And everyone trys to point out the downsides to being a young mother....lets swing that judgemental pendulum back the other way and take a look at the downsides of being an 'older mother' but Noooo....nobody wants to put themselves under the microscope. Instead of pointing out the negatives about other mothers...think about the POSTIVES of being a younger mother....first and formost...more energy, more of that playful personality, im sure a 19 year old mother is more likely to lay on the floor and play ponies than a mother who is in her late 20s or early 30s. And one of the other things, being a younger mother, you typically have a better chance of seeing more generations of your family grow.

Either way, there are wonderful mothers of all ages, and we all love our children, and NOTHING in the world will stop that.

Quoting Mara:“ geesh get a room you two.”

 

Quoting Mara:“ geesh get a room you two.”

PDA is soooooo much more fun!

*hugs Jen in front of the TPers*

Quoting ♥ GK ♥:“ *hugs Jen in front of the TPers*”

*grabs Gina....somewhere*

Oooooohhh babay!  

Quoting ♥First_Time_Mommy&#:“ This is not an attack on the person who posted this. However, i am 18 and pregnant with my first child, ... [snip!] ... Either way, there are wonderful mothers of all ages, and we all love our children, and NOTHING in the world will stop that.”

you-- and other young women like you are the reason that the statistics are only one half of the picture.

which makes me happy for you and your kids...

I don't get why some people are getting offended by the original post. If you are already a teen mother and you don't think you classify as one of the statistics then why are you offended? The statistic then doesn't apply to you. If you are a pregnant teen then why would you be offended by this post? You haven't even had you child yet and wouldn't be classified in this statistic at all. (Except the statistic about eating unhealthy while pregnant - which we all should know to do anyway) You should feel motivated to go against the statistics.

A few months back, when I first joined Baby-Gaga, I believe I fell upon this site by typing in "teen pregnancy" into google. It then led me to the Teen Pregnancy forum and this was the first sticky I had read. I remember reading the OP and wasn't surprised by the facts. I wasn't offended either. Why would I be? I was only 6 months pregnant or so, it did not apply to me quite yet.

The moment I found out I was pregnant, my life completely turned around. I am definetly not the same person I was 8 months ago.
Just a little background info, my baby's father, Matt, (now just recently, ex boyfriend) and I started dating when I was in grade 11 and he was graduated. He was 19 and I was 16. After a while of us dating, my parents must have noticed my grade dropping and me spending a lot of time with him, so they became more strict. In grade 12, they had noticed that I was smoking weed and partying a lot. (I had been smoking weed since I was 15 but became more careless about it as time went on) I became distant from my family and more involved with my friends and boyfriend. My parents began making more and more rules and I began breaking them more and more until we fought so much, I ended up moving out in the second semester of grade 12. My parents didn't kick me out, they never wanted me to leave, but I felt they were being unfair.

Matt and I got our own basement suite. We got evicted shortly after I had graduated due to our constant partying. Things started getting too out of hand. We were partying too much and me and Matt fought a lot as well. But not wanting to move back with my parents and not wanting to leave my boyfriend, his parents convinced us to move in with them. They lived an hour or so from my hometown. After living with them for 4 months or so, I got really sick of it. I missed my family, I missed my friends and Matt and his parents were always fighting. I then moved back home and he was staying with his sister who lived in town. And this was right around the time I got pregnant which was not planned.

I was working at a clothing store around the time that I had found out I was pregnant, but was fired after a month because I had been late to work several times due to my morning sickness. My boss knew I was pregnant but I guess, I should have made more of an effort to be on time. I was new, so I don't think they really wanted to have to accomodate me. Anyways, shortly after I had gotten a new job at the children's clothing store "The Children's Place". (I thought it would be an awesome job for me in my condition  ) I didn't tell them I was pregnant right away but they were fine with it in the end. I have been working there since. In Canada, If you have worked a minimun of 600 insurable hours prior to taking your maternity and parental leave, Employment Insurance will reimburse you with 55% of your average cheque every two weeks. I am about 30 hours shy of having my 600 hours at almost 34 weeks pregnant. I have also been saving half of each of my cheques and putting it into a savings account. I have $1700 saved so far. I also plan on working a few more weeks until I am 37 weeks. In Canada, we also have something called "Child taxes", and for each child you have, the government gives you $200-$300 a month. I can also go on maternity and parental leave for 52 weeks and get money from Employment insurance the whole time. So, that is what I have been working towards since I have found out so that if I can afford it, I can take a year off on leave. Not to mention, with the other half of my cheques, I had been stocking up on baby clothes (super cheap with my discount at The Children's Place since I also get the 30% off of sale items), getting the nursery prepared which is just about done   and of course buying maternity clothes and paying for prenatal pills.

I still do live with my parents. I have 3 sisters and a brother and only my brother who is 23 and my sister who is 15 still live with my parents as well. My oldest sister is 27 and she and her husband have their own home in town and my other sister is 20 and she lives with her boyfriend. My parents do not make me pay rent and they do help me out in many ways. When I had told them I was pregnant, they were of course shocked and disappointed but they got over it quickly and have been very very supportive. This is going to be their first grandchild and they are very excited to say the least. My family has definetly noticed the change in me and so have many other people. My parents are always proud to tell me when my aunties and uncles or their friends comment on how mature and grown up I have become. Lots of people will say that I am not really supporting myself and my baby because I am still living with my parents and I have seen a lot of people even bash teenage mothers who live with their parents still. But for me, I see it as the best choice as do my parents. They do not want me to leave and they would rather I live with them than have to pay for some shitty apartment and have to live by myself with my baby and waste money when I have a loving home that welcomes me with no questions. My parents are amazing people and are such worriers they wouldn't want it any other way. I am also very fortunate to be able to live with them, not only is there more than enough room, it is a good environment to raise a child. It's where me and my siblings were raised, I should know! I love knowing that my baby will be close with their grandparents and aunties and uncles. My family is very close now and they are all such amazing people. I feel like I have taken their love for granted and I could never make that mistake again. They are my rock and they make me feel very fortunate everyday to have a family as supportive and loving as them. They are all super excited for baby. It's all my mom talks about and my dad is always making sure I am eating healthy and he likes to talk to my belly and say "Grandpa can't wait to meet you!" He's definetly happy to finally become a grandpa. My oldest sister and her husband, who is like my brother, are going to be the baby's Godparents and they are really like my bestfriends. They have done way more than I had ever expected them to. They are really amazing people. My sister is even planning my shower which is next week and keeping me in the dark about everything! I am definetly lucky to have such a supportive foundation for me and the baby otherwise I would be doing this all alone and wouldn't doubt ending up one of the statistics.

Everything I do is for my baby. My life is so different now. The friends I had been so close to I barely ever talk to now. I am still friends with them but they are busy partying and are still very much into that scene and I just don't see myself like that anymore. I have put myself in bad positions and have done stupid things in my past but now that I am responsible for another life, I could never compromise my life like that again. I'm not above any of my friends, I still love them and If I wasn't pregnant I would be doing the same things they are, but I have had to take responsibility for my actions and grow up sooner than them. I still love them but we are just at different places right now.

And as for my now ex boyfriend, he is really something. There should be statistics on here about young fathers!! He is now 22 but acts like he is 16. We were together for over 2 years and is my first love. I say "is" because I still do love him. It's not easy for me to let that love go. But I know in my heart, it is better that we are not together. We fought a lot through our relationship and had "broken up" many times. He grew up in a bad environment; his father was an abusive alcoholic and his mother somewhat neglected him. She actualy sells marijuana. Don't get me wrong, they are not bad people at all. His father no longer drinks and they are respectable hard working people. They just like pot and his mother deals it to all of her friends. That's just the type of environment he grew up around. So anyways, when we found out I was pregnant, he was supportive and slowly started to get on the right track. He got his own apartment and had a good paying job. Unfortunately, he is not a motivated and ambitious person, and after some issues, he quit his job and now he sells weed. He has some stupid idea in his head that people who work are slaves and he just wants to have freedom. A real winner hey? Not to mention, he has done not one freakin' thing to prepare for this baby AT ALL. Not even kidding. He came to one doctor's appointment out of like 10 and 1 ultrasound out of 2. He hasn't helped me out financially, with all the pills, maternity clothes, baby clothes, baby gear, nursery stuff that I have bought. I have bought every single thing that this baby has so far other than the travel system my parents bought and I am not even kidding. It's sad. At first he said he was going to set up a little nursery in his apartment, but no, that never happened. He spends his money on $300 sunglasses and white gold chains. 'Cause that's what he cares about...lookin' like a baller  It's really sad that I have had to change and grow up so much when he hasn't done anything to better his life. He's very selfish and self-centered and obviously doesn't care too much about this baby. And since we have broken up, he tells me that I had made a stupid decision in deciding to keep the baby. Big surprise to me, I didn't even know I was the only one deciding this.. He has been very unsupportive and has treated me badly even while I carry his child.

I guess, I hoped things would be different between us. I thought we could do this together and build our relationship and make it stronger and turn it into a family. I never wanted to become pregnant at such a young age but now that I am, I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. I am embracing it to the fullest. I can honestly say that I am very happy and anxious for the future. It's sad that this baby will not have the father it deserves but sometimes, it's for the better. This baby deserves at least one good parent and I am going to do everything in my power to give this baby a good life and provide it with everything it needs and deserves. This baby is my life and I can't wait to finally meet him or her (it's gunna be a surprise  ) I don't know what the future holds, but I will do my best to make sure everything turns out okay. I know in my heart, I won't be a part of the statistic.

Wow. That was really long. It took me a long time to type so I hope at least someone reads it.. Haha. 

Quoting SugAr MomMy 7 m0re weeKs:“ Wow. That was really long. It took me a long time to type so I hope at least someone reads it.. Haha. ”

I read it.   And I agree, and that's what I tell people...you wouldn't get offended, if it wasn't true in your case. Ya know? Like, when all those people get all mad and say all these statistics are bullcrap, they tend to be the ones that have fallen in to each and every category.

I do not agree with some of these "statistics" Yes being a teenage mother isn't the best choice to make but Atleast some of us are willing to TRY to take on responsibility give credit for that much, my sister had her first kid at 15 shes 30 with 5 now, ALL 5 are smart (honor roll students) healthy and always fed and dressed and happy. So maybe statistics don't apply to everyone so please no "teenage mother" because I don't fit into those categorys, no obviously i didn't make the right choices in life, but atleast i'm happy and am taking on the effects of the actions i took, i am NOT offended but i do think that maybe statistics shouldn't include EVERY teenage mother. Because we aren't all the same.

Quoting MiaBella:“ I do not agree with some of these "statistics" Yes being a teenage mother isn't the best choice to make ... [snip!] ... i am NOT offended but i do think that maybe statistics shouldn't include EVERY teenage mother. Because we aren't all the same.”

clearly statistics are just numbers... and what we're talking about number-wise w/ these particular statistics are probabilities, averages, and majorities.

there is a higher probability that a teenage mother will not finish high school -- this does not mean all teenage mothers will not finish high school.

on average, teen mothers are more likely to have a lower income for a longer period of time than their non-parent peers. again, this does not include all teen moms.

the point of using these statistics is to paint a picture in broad brush strokes.

you can choose whether you want to be in that picture at all.

indeed it's your job as a responsible human being and parent to take those statistics into account and choose to do and be more than the numbers suggest you will.

Quoting Mara:“ clearly statistics are just numbers... and what we're talking about number-wise w/ these particular ... [snip!] ... human being and parent to take those statistics into account and choose to do and be more than the numbers suggest you will.”

And i've already proven those to be wrong, i graduated 2 months ago.
full high school diploma. I understand your point of view completely.

Quoting lyssababy07:“ I read it.   And I agree, and that's what I tell people...you wouldn't get offended, if it wasn't true ... [snip!] ... get all mad and say all these statistics are bullcrap, they tend to be the ones that have fallen in to each and every category.”

Yeah, exactly and I don't believe that the statistics are false at all. I personally, know a few teenage mothers who definetly fall into this category.
Someone who used to be a friend of mine has a 2 year old son and she is 19 right now. She not only hasn't graduated anddoesn't have a job and has no ambition to keep a job, but in her spare time she likes to smoke crack. And sadly enough, she apparently has another child due in July as well and the father is in jail. This is just an example of someone who does fall into the category. Obviously, she has not matured at all since having a child and It makes me very sad to know that her children will not be given the life they should have and will most likely end up in the same lifestyle as herself.