re: why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia

parenting is hard work-- regardless of what age you are. on that, we can agree. and yes, the statistics being cited can easily be applied to other women -- but the fact is: these things are less likely to be a problem if you're not a teenager.

you said: "i dont believe a teen is less capable that anyone else"

this just isn't true. there may be teens out there more mature, more capable than some adults of being a parent -- but as i've said in previous posts, those adults who aren't mature or capable are that way b/c of who they are-- not b/c of their age.

the simple fact is: teenagers aren't supposed to be ready to raise a child... they're supposed to be getting an education, growing up, learning about the world, about what they believe their role in the world is, what they want to do w/ their life, and figuring out what their ethics and morals are...

so for the adults who are incapable parents, that's a reflection of their own personal problems which they need to work out. but for the teenagers who are struggling or aren't effective parents-- it's b/c well, they aren't supposed to be ready.

and i do respect all those teenagers who manage to parent well... it's a testament to their own determination and personal strength that they manage to do it better than the statistics would have you believe is possible.

i'm not judging teens negatively -- i'm concerned b/c the challenge which they face is so immense. the teen years are supposed to be about YOU-- not a little baby and all the associated work and costs of raising one.

every one one here is so angery
each and every person is diffrent.
i havent even given birth yet and some days i break down.
between school and work.
but then i think that theres prolly alot of people with it harder than me and i can not wait to me my little boy, teen or not i congratulate any parent on a job well done. and i think some people are just not cut out to be good parents
but i feel i am, i have an amazing mother and a amazing boyfriend =]
thank god for that because i dont know how i would deal with out them

good luck to every other teen mom and teen moms to be =]
im right there with ya

Quoting DuVaLMoMMa:“ i think most of that is BULL! im 21 years old and on my 3rd baby. i havent had the best of times but ... [snip!] ... responsibility and not running and having an abortion and at least stepping up to be a good mom and be responsible! THANK YOU!”

i dont think she was putting teen moms down... she was simply stating facts that unfortunately are very often true. that doesnt mean that you and i and other young mom's out there have to live by that book.... i was a young mom too and i consider myself a better mom than a lot of older women! but i also have friends who care more about party and boys than staying home and taking care of there children. not that going out is bad... but all the time is not ok. anyways, sad but true, there are a LOT of youn mom's who just were not ready... if your a young mom and dont find yourself in that category, pat yourself on the back and know that the article was not directed to you!!!

all i really have to say to this is I agree with somethigns and then i dont agree with somethings. What us teenagers do with our life is what we do with our life if we choose to have 6 kids by the time were 21 so be it, thats THIER business nobody elses. That the one thing that bugs me about soceity is they think just because we are teenagers that we cant give our child the best life they can get and thats totally bull i got prgenant about a month before my 19th birthday and this pregnancy has made me grow into the person i am. Im just so sick of people constantly saying things about us teenagers and the stupid statistics thats not fair to the people who do work and do go to school and still make sure theres a stable home for the baby to be born into. I mean yes there is a some people who are under the statistic as A "welfare munchy" and they should not be able to do that. Or just because Jami lynn Spears is pregnant its all over that oh shes so young, who cares theres 13 year olds out here that are getting prgnant leave the girl alone. and for anyone to call there baby a mistake is wrong the only way that the baby is a mistake is if you regret it. Sorry if i offended anybody but i had to say something. feel free to private message me to talk more

All I can say to all the Teen Moms isthis: It is NOT cool to be a teen mom!!! Your boyfriend will still break up with you if you are pregnant or not. They aren't ready anymore than you are. What Mara quoted is actually very accurate. I have been reading where some teen moms have been slamming the older woman for getting pregnant. Well I have a few things to say about that.
1. They more often than not have the $$ to care for a child properly WITHOUT using tax dollars to raise their chilren.
2. People are living longer these days and sorry to say but just because you are in your late 30's or 40's doesn't mean you can't play with your child.
3. How do you know that they haven't struggled with infertility and that was the first chance God gave them to have a child?

Before you think it is a good idea at 14, 15, 16 or 17 to have sex, think about what you will be missing in those younger years. Think about what you will NOT be givining to a child that didn't ask to be born. Think about how much more you can offer a child after you have secured your education and stabalized your life.

To those of you teens who have the nerve to say that you will have as many children as you want and will continue to use the welfare system, just wait until you get older and find your self working 2 jobs to survive while the bum next door is collecting a check off your hard work. You are NOT entitled to use the welfare system because of your irresponsibility. The welfare system is there to HELP not to use as a means of life.

To the teen mom who is getting so stressed she feels that she needs to drop out of high school; PLEASE get some support to stay in school. Your education is so valuable to you and your baby. Without it, you are dooming yourself to a life of hard times. I realize I just preached about the abuse of welfare but if you need a helping hand, they have child care programs and even tutor programs designed to help you. Don't give up!

Before any of you slam me on this, I am speaking from experience and have been on a hard road accompanied by some good friends. Don't let your girlfriends see only the glamor of your pregnancy. Make sure they are aware of how hard it is and what you will miss out on. Spring break trips in college. The freedom to up and go as a young adult and travel. All those things and more will no longer be avaliable to you until your child has grown. Then you are paying for college and still not able to vacation out of the county and so on. I know it is a hard road. TO those trying to make it, I pray for you. To those doing this for attention and thinking it is your right, I pray for your child.

It is only a mistake if it is not repeated. After that it is pure stupidity!

Quoting mamasisloved:“ You all understand what its like being a teen adn pregnant so if anybody can help...please do! Im 15 ... [snip!] ... If there is any information you can give me to help me keep my son, could you please send it my way...im desperate!  ”

All I can say sugar is that I am going to pray for you. Putting up a child for adoption is the most unselfish thing a mother can do. There are plenty of couples out there that can provide more for that child than you may be able to do. There are programs these days that allow YOU to chose who adopts your child and allows YOU to set the guidlines. Such as, if you want to havea n open adoption or a closed. Open can be as "open" as you like. From pictures monthly to actual visits. If you are set on raising this baby, understand how hard it will be if you don't have some form of support. Either way, you have a big decision to make in such a short time.

Please try to understand one thing, I am not bashing you and supporting your family but standing for you. At your age, you have so much to experience and live for. It is hard to be a parent at any age and jsut that much harder when you are young and don't have a support system. I pray that the decision you make is the best one you could find for your child. After all, they are the innocent party here that will either suffer the most or reap the most reward.

My prayers for you.

uhh wrong place to post this!

Quoting maymama2008:“ uhh wrong place to post this!”

post what?

the original post. but then again it could teach some 15 year olds trying to get pregnant something..

Quoting maymama2008:“ the original post. but then again it could teach some 15 year olds trying to get pregnant something..”

This is Mara's site, so I am pretty sure she can post what she pleases where she pleases.

Quoting Jen Lynn:“ This is Mara's site, so I am pretty sure she can post what she pleases where she pleases.”

Pshh, thank you. That is exactly what I was thinking.

One thing I dont understand. I understand all these mom's who want to defend themselves but no one is Attacking you so why beo so defensive? Being a mom is hard at ANY age and especially when you are a young headstrong and lets all be honest ignorant of the world growing adult.
Teens have it hard. They are in that classic middle place where they're in no way children but in no way adults either. I was a teenage miracle statistic. I was on my own at 16 nearly dropped out of school found out I was graduating the DAY of graduation and looking back remember defending myself and the situations I was in but now I know... damn was I lucky. I know what I missed out on and watching my younger sister go through her teen years now understand that although I may have thought I was so great I held myself back and forced myself to grow up way too hard and too fast.
And thats just it. You may have a child and make it through and graduate and whether you graduate with honors or not whether you get a great paying job with benefits or dont your going to struggle and one day your going to look back and realize it and then wish you hadn't been so headstrong and taken advice for what it was. Advice of those who care who've been there before or know and only want to help.
Maybe your not a statistic but think about this... Those who ARE, arent here. They dont have time. But they are out there. I've been friends with them. I knew them living on my own. My best friend at 16 her water broke as we were in line to get our year books. The statistics are real and instead of being arrogant about your great ability to "work your ass off" how about be thankful for being where you are and happy your NOT one of the mothers that YOU KNOW are there. This isn'ta happy thing No child is ever a mistake but the mistake is being too arrogant to admit the situation you are in for what it is. Dont make the mistake make yourself proud make your child proud work hard and thenhelp other girls avoid pregnancy until they are ready. Dont try 2 glamorize yourself be honest and admit It's Better To Wait.

Wow, this is a touchy subject. Being a mother of 2 I had my first when I was 18, and to be honest if I were to read this 4 years ago I would have told you exactly were you can go. Although it's hard to say, these are the facts (assuming wikipedia is the most esteemed source of information) but I'm not sure this is really going to help or hurt anybody. Teenage mothers have alot of pressure riding on them. I'll be 22 next month, I'm happily married and can say that my pregnancy now is just as stressful as my teen pregnancy was. So I'm sure the negativity is not going to get anyone in the "think positive" frame of mind. Are teen mothers able to provide for their children? Absolutly. Is it hard? Absolutly, and I'm pretty sure they know that.

 
    

Quoting Mara:“ i agree with ash here, there definitely needs to be more support... i think one of the main problems ... [snip!] ... a parent will be the most potentially rewarding experience of your life. and go and be the best damned mothers you can be!”

Well im very happy that there is programs in mii town like a program called healthier babies brightier futures. i love that place but then the town that i live in its very commen for teens to have children. So everyone actully supports the preg women