re: why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia

Quoting Ada5162008:“ What makes you think for a second that based solely on age someone would be less of a parent? And as ... [snip!] ... the idea of the statistics taker, to reflect there oppinion of a matter, and not so much the truth of the enitire situation.”

absolutely.

i hope you don't think that i'm applying these statistics to every teen. as i've already said, i understand that there are many great exceptions and many young women fully capable of standing up to the challenge and delivering as the best parent they can be at that age.

and i'm happy to hear that you feel confident in you ability to be a good parent (that's more than i have and i'm 29-- but sometimes, added perspective means facing harsher truths about youself instead of just dreaming of all the good things coming down the line w/ a new baby) but answer this one for me: if you could have waited till you were older and more financially and educationally prepared to have a child, would you have??

What do you mean the best parent they can be at that age. Yeah i would have waited, but i don't think that it willdetermind the quality of my parenting. And as for "dreaming about all the good things coming down the line with a new baby" as if thats how it really is. That isn't what has been going threw my head for me its been something like how my teen years the ones where everyone else is so carefree are over and i'm having a baby. That i will be a parent for the rest of my life. How everyone looks at me like there is something wrong with me because i had a condom brake and didn't rush the abortion clinic. that's what I think about. And the worst part is that there are so many people out there telling me my mistakes. I don't see it as a mistake but more like a surcomstance. One that i take full responsability for everyday. But like i said there are so many people that tell me what they think of my situation. It's my situation unless your a teen mom it doesn't apply to you, you don't understand

Quoting Ada5162008:“ What do you mean the best parent they can be at that age. Yeah i would have waited, but i don't think ... [snip!] ... tell me what they think of my situation. It's my situation unless your a teen mom it doesn't apply to you, you don't understand”

by "at that age' i mean just that. just as my parenting would be different if i were 21 vs. 25 vs. the age that i actually am etc.

16 is young. it's not the youngest, but it's very young. you're still in school (or should be) and you have a lot of major decisions in front of you without a child. add a baby to the mix and you've got some tough years of hard work, sleepless nights, and a lot of self-sacrifice that makes it very easy for you to compromise your future and stability for the very pressing needs of your baby on a daily basis. ask any mom trying to do their education and raise their kid at the same time-- how easy is that??

it's not the end of the world, but it is tough to raise a baby as a teenager. there's no way you can tell me it isn't -- unless you're very rich and spoiled and have a huge supportive family who love to baby sit.

and the fact you would have waited till later to have a baby is important b/c it means you recognize that you're not in the optimal position to be a parent-- that yes, perhaps you will have to work harder than you would have had to if you'd waited.

but like i said, there are plenty of women out there who do the hard work and show up the statistics. that's the most we can all hope for.

and obviously i'm not a teen mom, but that's not the point here. the point is we're all going to be facing the challenge of raising a tiny and utterly dependent human and we need to be prepared for all that entails. whether or not i can completely understand what it's like to be a pregnant teenager doesn't mean that a) i can't imagine what it must be like, a b) we can't all help each other by being supportive and open to learning how to be a good parent from one another.

Quoting Mara:“ by "at that age' i mean just that. just as my parenting would be different if i were 21 vs. 25 vs. the ... [snip!] ... be like, a b) we can't all help each other by being supportive and open to learning how to be a good parent from one another.”

The whole point of this thread was to show that is hard, and it is. I can't begin to tell how many times I have wanted to give up because it is so hard, but I keep going because of my son. I better myself, so that one day he can so the same. Working full-time with full-time classes and a family almost broke me...but Ryan kept me going. He truly makes me better.

Quoting crri0601bekah:“ The whole point of this thread was to show that it can be hard...and it is.”

yes... being a parent is hard-- we all need to educate and prepare ourselves regardless of our ages.

sorry i hit post earlier before I was done typing so i updated it  

Quoting crri0601bekah:“ The whole point of this thread was to show that is hard, and it is. I can't begin to tell how many times ... [snip!] ... same. Working full-time with full-time classes and a family almost broke me...but Ryan kept me going. He truly makes me better.”

Hey! I completely feel ya in the wanting to give up sometimes!! parenting is the hardest thing people will be challenged to and more so as the kids grow up the challenges get harder!!! I have a 9 year old an im 25 and she is a spiting image of me!!!! boy it sucks fighting with your self!! loll I to like you work fulltime. I am currently a store Manager for a tuxedo Company and on the side Icomsultcompanies who are strugling in Sales and Marketing areas. PLus i am rasing my 2 girls and pregnant with my 3rd!! uffda by the end of the day I wann a lock myself in a closet and bang my head on the wall.... Thank god for My support system!!!!!!

It used to be normal for women to have babies at a very young age. Just because society has changed does not mean women have an excuse to blame thier bad parenting on thier age. The problem with trying to inform people is that it just gives them more excuses to why they can not do it.

Quoting Ninqueen:“ It used to be normal for women to have babies at a very young age. Just because society has changed does ... [snip!] ... on thier age. The problem with trying to inform people is that it just gives them more excuses to why they can not do it.”

so we should just shut our mouths and pretend it's great that they're 15 and pregnant?

I think this is bull too!!!!!!!!! First of all we live in a society that says loudly and clearly SEX IS GREAT! GO OUT AND HAVE SUM!!!!!!!!!!! then we are shocked when people go out and do it, and get the results from it???? yES BEING A PARENT IS HARD, BUT SO IS LIFE...PEROID. POINT BLANK! for all the young girls reading this (who r pregnant, or have children) DONT BE DISCOURAGED!!!!!!!!! u can do whatever u set ur mind to! dont let statistics get in the way of ur dreams. my sister had her baby at 14, and she is a better mom than most 35 year olds....SO U CAN DO IT it may be hard but u CAN DO IT!

Oh and if u havent experienced being a teen parent...then u should not be trying to tell people what being a teen parentis going to be like!!!!!! we all know its hard of course, but it doesnt make u any better of a mother because u waited longer!!!!

Quoting Denisha:“ Oh and if u havent experienced being a teen parent...then u should not be trying to tell people what ... [snip!] ... going to be like!!!!!! we all know its hard of course, but it doesnt make u any better of a mother because u waited longer!!!!”

you're very excited about this topic eh?

i'm not shocked that teenagers are having sex. at all. i totally agree w/ you on that point... it's very hypocritical when people are upset that teens are having sex. every form of media out there would have you believing that having sex is the ultimate experience of love, happiness, and acceptance (which is doubtful, but when you're a teenager what do you really know?).

not being a teen parent (heck, i'm still pregnant w/ my first child-- so i'm not even a parent), doesn't mean i can't imagine what it's like-- it doesn't mean i can't imagine how difficult it would have been for me as teenager to have a child and try to finish my education, grow up, take care of them, and continue to succeed in life.

i'm not telling teenagers how it will be to be a parent, i'm telling them how it could be if they do not prepare and educate themselves to be a good parent.

these are just basic facts. and you obviously have not thoroughly read anything i or the other women on here have written. please do that before replying to my post here. it will save us both a lot of time and effort.

KEY WORD *IMAGINE*!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIke i said b4 u dont know. And why dosnt that go 4 any WOMAN??? (i'm not telling teenagers how it will be to be a parent, i'm telling them how it could be if they do not prepare and educate themselves to be a good parent.) Why not tell every woman how hard it could be to raise a child if u dont educate urself??? And where did u get ur facts from r u some do u do a personal study...or is this something u just got from google?? Ill sacve us bot sum time and agree with you one one thing yes its hard. But some of that stuff u posted was just crap!...

Quoting Denisha:“ KEY WORD *IMAGINE*!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIke i said b4 u dont know. And why dosnt that go 4 any WOMAN??? (i'm ... [snip!] ... Ill sacve us bot sum time and agree with you one one thing yes its hard. But some of that stuff u posted was just crap!...”

it does go for any woman... the very critical difference is that an adult is more likely to have the financial and emotional stability necessary to raise a child, where a teenager doesn't (and shouldn't, they're a teenager and going to school and still growing up).

and i'm interested in precisely what stuff you consider crap that i've said...

Wikipedia says: "Many pregnant teens are subject to nutritional deficiencies from poor eating habits common in adolescence, including attempts to lose weight through dieting, skipping meals, food faddism, snacking, and consumption of fast food.***** This one is riduclous to me because If u live n America, Who doesnt consume high amounts of fast food, who doesnt snack unhealthily? >>this is aimed at teens But many adult women and men in this country do the exact same thing!!!!!!!! >>>so why not make this for all pregnant women in general?

Wikipedia says: "The occurrence of developmental disabilities and behavioral issues is increased in children born to teen mothers. One study shows that adolescent mothers are less likely to stimulate their infant through affectionate behaviors such as touch, smiling, and verbal communication, or to be sensitive and accepting toward his or her needs." **** Is this serious? A teen is perfectly capable of doint all these thing...just as much as a 30 yr old woman is!

.

This is why there are so many reports of neglect, abuse, and negative behaviors in teenage parenting: because the mom is still just a kid who wants to go shopping, hang out with friends, and go to parties and meet boys. We won't even talk about teenage fathers here-- because so many of them just disappear into the woodwork never to be heard from again. ********THere r plenty of adult women who want and do the same exact thngs...BEING A RESPONSIBLE MOTHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AGE IN MY OPINION, ITS ABOUT MATURITY LEVEL! .....IT ALL DEPENS ON THE PERSON!

Dont get me wrong...i understand where ur comming from...ur trying to help! but this information comes off (in my opinion) as judgemental. U say these are the facts but alot of these things apply to older women as well! I know how hard it is...im not being ignorant to the seriousness of teen pregnancy. Im just saying it applys to all women not just teens! All women have struggles, rasing children...its simply not easy! and i dont believe a teen is less capable that anyone else...So n conclusion i will agree to disagree on this one!