Husband and Sex... Help?

For the last month and a half two months I haven’t been wanting to have sex but my husband is wanting it all the time. I have given in twice now and both times after words I hurt… A lot. It’s mainly around the edges of my vaginal opening (I don’t know what else to call it). I’ve told him both times that I was hurting after and he kept joking that it’s cause he’s “packing heat” or something stupid like that. And for the last week he has been bugging me non-stop for sex and I keep telling him no because 1. I’m not in the mood, 2. I don’t want to be in the mood, and 3. I know I’m going to hurt after. But he’s just not getting it and he’s starting to get a lil too aggressive about it (i.e. grabbing/touching my boobs, trying to touch/rub my vaginal area) and every time he does it I push his hand away and tell him no or to stop. It’s getting to the point that I’m getting pissed at him because he thinks I’m joking around or playing hard to get and when I told him that he was getting to aggressive and he got mad at me because of it. I tried to talk to him after but he wouldn’t talk to me so I left him alone to calm down for about a hour and a half and went back to talk to him again and he told me that his ex-girlfriend told him a few times that he was too aggressive and that with me saying that it just brought back bad memories of him and his ex which I can kind of understand but I still didn’t get why he got so mad at me about it.
So anyways, what can I say to him to get it through his head that I’m not wanting to have sex without him thinking I’m just joking around/playing hard to get?

lubes and stuff help? I know the extra blood flow can cause swelling down there and irritation, but maybe try pleasing him without hurting you?

I never had the prob and if we do, just relax, extra lube or make him take a shower with extra soap lol

Quoting Caryn Camire`:“ For the last month and a half two months I haven’t been wanting to have sex but my husband is wanting ... [snip!] ... to get it through his head that I’m not wanting to have sex without him thinking I’m just joking around/playing hard to get?”

Why dont you give him oral or use your hand sometimes and then maybe he wont want the sex so much. My hubby is very "I want it now" type of guy and when Im not in the mood he gets upset too but he gets over it! Men just DONT understand us sometimes. You have to sit him down and have a serious talk withhim and let him know how your feeling.

sorry your going through this honey. I was in the mood for sex until a few months ago-after we got married to be exact! I felt bad but just wasn't in the mood and it was hurting. I could tell it annoyed my husband but he never got agressive or tried to force me, he'd just be disapointed. Your husband needs to be a support to you while your feeling like this. I felt a lil bit of pressure from my husband to get over this feeling and do it and I was able to get back on the band wagon when he quit making me feel bad about not wanting to do it. I think when you feel the pressure to do it, it turns you off even more. Maybe make him his favourite dinner and explain to him carefully how you feel. Tell him that you love him and wish you didn't feel this way-but you do and him pressurising you isn't helping. Also, you can do other things rather than sex  

We've tried lubes but it hasn't hepled any. He keeps saying I should go down on him but I'm not really into that even though I have done it in the past.

Quoting Caryn Camire`:“ We've tried lubes but it hasn't hepled any. He keeps saying I should go down on him but I'm not really into that even though I have done it in the past.”

I wouldn't go down on my husband either...he's not into it anyway so it never comes up but I would feel weird doing it while pregnant. Do u not like giving hand jobs?

Quoting Lindsay Lux:“ I wouldn't go down on my husband either...he's not into it anyway so it never comes up but I would feel weird doing it while pregnant. Do u not like giving hand jobs?”

It doesn't really do anything for him (at least when I do it, maybe I'm boing it worng? If that's even possible).

Quoting Caryn Camire`:“ It doesn't really do anything for him (at least when I do it, maybe I'm boing it worng? If that's even possible).”

ummm idk if u can do it wrong as such...my husband doesn't like oral-yours may not like hand jobs! men can be slow at understanding things like our feelings. It took my husband a good while to stop trying to 'get me in the mood' and now I feel a lot better and more relaxed and we have sex from time to time and he realli appriciates it as he know it can hurt me. I think it hurts more when your not in the mood and all tense because it reflects down there...

I think you have said enough. He is your husband and he should want to make you feel good. I would tell him not to bring up his ex's in the past because that's putting the blame you which isn't right! Tell him NO and tell him you mean it. It's not going to kill him to wait!

Good luck

Quoting brigmama:“ I think you have said enough. He is your husband and he should want to make you feel good. I would tell ... [snip!] ... putting the blame you which isn't right! Tell him NO and tell him you mean it. It's not going to kill him to wait! Good luck”

I’ve told him tons of times not to bring her up and he stops until we get into an argument (but that’s a whole other problem in itself). I keep telling him no and to wait and he doesn't. I also told him that if he want'swe cango to a porn shop and get him some stuff so he can take care of it on his own but he's not interested (which surprises me cause he's always trying to take me into them). So I don't know what else to do or try.