Ive posted a couple times on here. Sooo this time its about wanting a divorce. I really want a divorce this time. I just dont give a dam anymore. My husband i think just dont have any emotions , no feelings what so ever in my opinion. I dont know if it was his exwife that fucked his head up and got him so coldhearted or what and theres no such thing as trying to talk to him cause as soon as i start he ignores me. Or says that i am trying to start a arguement which im not. We have only been married for 4 months and this shit is frustrating. Ok i had my little boy on july 27th. I was already scared about giving birth because none of my family lives here in texas with me just him. Well do you think he was supportive ? hell no !!!! I was hurting sooo bad cause the baby was faced in the wrong direction and settled in my buut area. He didt hold my habd , kiss me , hug me, none of that. Then i finally had to get a c-section.But after all that im expecting to hear " Oh Vantrice you did so good " and all that shit but did i ? hell no!!! alls he says is negative stuff like oh it didnt hurt..stop bieng a pussy and all that. I dont feel appreciated at all.. I wonder why i even bother most times. But not anymore i tell you that. I tired of bieng taken for granted. Even now. My son is 2 weeks old. His ass just started changing diapers. But i feel like i do everthing and he does nothing but sit onfucking x-box all day when he gets off. Shit i dont know what spending alone time with him is anymore. I try to but it never happens. I so depressed every day. I cry, i dont have anyone to talk to none of that. Im just lost right now. So i told him i wanted a divorce yesterday .Shit didnt even faze him at all. i asked him do he even care that i want one. He says thru text messege that he not going to chase behind someone who dosent love him. Im thinking how the fuck do i not love him. I been there with him thru everthing. From the time he was in iraq ..to when he came home..all that. Ive stuck around when i know if i was any other chick would have left. We have been broke..dam near homeless..dam near starving and all that together and he acts like im just another hoe off the street of something.Now me going thru all that with him but still loving him the same tell me thats not love for your ass. We dont have sex no more. He dosent compliment me anymore. He always cracking jokes and shit about how im looking these days i mean shit i just had a baby 2 weeks ago who the fuck am i sposed to look like Tyra fucking Banks..lol. And its messed up when another guy has to make me feel prety or special insted of my own husband you know? And ok my little girl is in jacksonville my hometown with her grandma right now. I miss her like crazy. shes 21 moths now. So anywyas my cousin sent me a video of her yesterday. I showed it to him while he was playing the game. Do you know his ass didnt even pause that piece of shit x-box to take the time out to look at my child. She is not his but still you know show me you paying attention to me and whats important to me. He knows how much i miss my babgirl just dont give a flying fuck..
'
So i dont know man...

Sounds like he's a manipulative asshole to me!! Ugh I would be getting a divorce too! I'm sorry to hear that girl  

I honestly wouldn't blame you at all if you left. From what you explained he sounds like a real jerk.

But have you guys looked into counseling? I would try that before signing the papers personally.

Being upset over a divorce is something you learn to move past. Being depressed in a shitty marriage is something that sticks forever. Bail. Quickly and with your head up high.

Sounds like a real big dick, and not worht your time. If he doesnt care if you stay or go, then go back home to your daughter, and take your baby, and find someone who will love you and both your children. My step dad is the most wonderful man in the world, and he treats me as nothing less than his own flesh and blood, even though my mother divorced him 5 years ago. Men like that do exist. You have to be patient enough to find them. I wish you the best dear, you can do it. You can make it, and don't EVER let anyone hold you back.

Thats terrible how he treated you during the pregnancy..did he want the baby to start with? Did he want to get married or felt that he needed to? Did you want to be married? He might feel like you just married him because you got 'stuck' with him...
Have you ever said anything that would make him feel that way? I think you should look at how youve been acting as well and see if you did everything you could to make him happy and feel loved..if you did,then he's an ass and you should get counselling(if you want to) or get a divorce. I would hold off on the divorce for now,and dont hold that card up until you are 100 percent no doubt in your mind leaving and not posting about it asking people for thier opinion.

We really cant tell you what to do at all. I wouldnt make any decisions 2 weeks pp (btw no wonder, nobody has sex then, its not exaclty unusual!). You will be hormonal and things will be settling down right now, so i would wait a little time before making any definate decisions.

You could try counselling or working it out between you, ask him how he feels and what hes thinking about things. Men can be very defensive, i know mine is. He has given me that line about 'not chasing' me before -its because hes too proud, stubborn and doesnt want to get hurt. But ifyour husbandisnt willing to talk AT ALL then there is no scope for improvement. In which case you shouldnt have to settle in an unhappy relationship.

If you've only been married for 4 months i dont really understand. Has he just become like this recently? what was he like during the pregnancy? IDK, you know him, none of us do, so its hard to understand the situation and why he may be behaving this way.

I hope you sort things out and start feeling better about things soon.

ummm okay I'm sorry that your hubby is being an ass right now, but seriously....
why the hell to people get married at all if they're not going to take marriage seriously? Going to call it quits and get a divorce after 4 months? After being through everything your saying you went through.... cripes!
Women expect men to stand by us when we're all psycho and hormonal for 9 months and week out of every month thereafter.... but yet they're so quick to dump a guy when he's having issues???? Men have problems too you know... they get depressed, they can get PPD, they can have issues and they come out differently, they act differnt, they feel different, they process different.
Just b/c on the surface he's suddenly acting like a ass doesn't mean that you should jump ship on a commitment that you made.......
things like having a child and going to IRAQ the do shit to guys.... and it take sthem time to deal with it all..... yeah it sounds like he needs to get his act together, maybe he needs some counselling...... but what he doesn't need is you bailoing on him when he's having troubles.

I'm sorry I don't mean to come off hard on you personally OP.... but I'm jsut sick of hearing about stuff like this. We as women expect support and understanding when we're going through hard stuff and our men don't understand us... so why do so many women think it doesn't go both ways????

Have you guys thought about counseling yet?

You mentioned that he's recently back from Iraq. That could have something to do with why he acts the way he does. I know when my DH first got back from Iraq he was still in "single guy mode" where he wanted to do what he wanted when he wanted and didn't give a damn about anyone but himself. He'd spend hours playing video games and stuff too. I finally told him that we were a family and if he wasn't going to pay attention to us, then I'd leave and take our DS with me. That started to scare him straight. I still have problems with him sometimes chosing his video games over us, but I try to pick my battles with him and give him times when it's ok for him to play his games and I don't throw a fit but when the clock hits a certain time, "DH time" is over and it's time for "family time".

Has he ever been around a newborn before? He might be afraid of hurting the baby in some way or not doing things "right". As hard as it is, sometimes you've gotta break it down Barney-style to them so they understand what needs to be done and that you need help.

I wouldn't advocate for a divorce yet...you've only been married a short amount of time, he's recently re-deployed, and you just had a baby. That's a LOT of stress, especially on a new marriage. I'd suggest counseling. If he won't go with you, go alone. The counselors on base are free and even if you just go there to vent about things, they can help you put things into perspective.

Hang in there and be strong momma!

Quoting Amanda Neil's mommy:“ ummm okay I'm sorry that your hubby is being an ass right now, but seriously.... why the hell to people ... [snip!] ... we're going through hard stuff and our men don't understand us... so why do so many women think it doesn't go both ways????”

I agree with pretty much everything you said.

I would do everything it possibly took to keep my marriage together before saying that it really is over.

Quoting pimptressv22:“ Ive posted a couple times on here. Sooo this time its about wanting a divorce. I really want a divorce ... [snip!] ... to me and whats important to me. He knows how much i miss my babgirl just dont give a flying fuck.. ' So i dont know man...”

Well, I can't talk from experience because I've never been married but I watched my parents divorce and my mom re-marry. The guy she remarried was a complete dick. He sounds a lot like your husband--playing video games and bitching all the time, never complimenting my mom, and too busy to even have a normal conversation. Needless to say, my mom got rid of his ass.. Just talking about him makes me mad.  
All I can tell you is to go with your gut. If you're thinking you should leave, then do it and don't look back. If you decide you miss him and want him back or starts to cry and ask you to come back, stay strong and don't go back. Chances are, if you go back, it will be 10 times worse than it is now. Sure, if you go back, he'll ba all lovey-dovey for 2 weeks atthe most, but then he'll be back at it. I'm sorry for what you're going through. But the best thing, in my opinion, is to get out of there so your baby doesn't have to grow up with that. Itmay be the best thing for you and your child. Stay strong!

Well i would hide his x-box for starters and thenyoushould tell him that if you didn't love him then why the hell wouldyou move away from all your family, and tell him that he is the one making you feel like he don't love you. Me and mine had problems and he tried everything in his power to save the marriage but i didn't think it would work and then when he gave up I came to terms that i really did love him and didn't want to lose him and then i did everything in my power to save the marriage, and now here we are, we are still working on things in the relationship but it has gotten a whole lot better, but all you can do is try everything in your power to save the marriage and if still don't work then it just don't work, but Good Luck to you

Quoting zean:“ Have you guys thought about counseling yet? You mentioned that he's recently back from Iraq. That ... [snip!] ... if you just go there to vent about things, they can help you put things into perspective. Hang in there and be strong momma!”

Thats all what i was thinkingbut you put it way better. Im being a lazy post'r today lol

Quoting Navy_wife & december mami:“ Well i would hide his x-box for starters and thenyoushould tell him that if you didn't love him then ... [snip!] ... do is try everything in your power to save the marriage and if still don't work then it just don't work, but Good Luck to you”

All I read was "hide his x-box.."
My fiance and I deleted everything---all the saved crap & EVERYTHING---off Wayne's [my mom's ex] Playstation.. Hahahahaha  
I don't know if you can do that with an x-box or not but if you could, it would be hilarious!!!!!

you can stay in that relationship and be unhappy, or you can get out and it will hurt for a while but you will over come it!!!