about mother son issues..

I am really confused and I feel like a really bad parent for this..

When my SO and I were going to break up a few weeks ago he said "I am taking my son with me" I told him "As long as he doesn't turn out like you go ahead"...


OK so I told my mom that he was going to take Eric back to his reserve with him and she got so mad at me. She said "DON'T YOU EVER LET HIM TAKE A CHILD WITH HIM"...

I am sorry but I am so confused.. Why is it such a bad thing that I was ok with him taking Eric back with him?

I was thinking at the time that it would be much easier on me having only 2 children to take care of while we could be going through this "divorce" in a sense. I am still confused, my mom along with my sister made it seem like a very bad thing of me to do..

opinions please.
ETA: we are together still and I am so happy cause I would have missed Eric so much.. But if the situation arose again I would still let him take him..at least until I got myself off the ground(is that how that saying goes?)...

Is Eric your son too, or just his?

I keep my kids by my side!! If my husband wanted to leave he better be walking out the door alone!!!

Quoting Elise08:“ Is Eric your son too, or just his?”

both of ours.

oh I don't know...but if I were to throw my 2 cents in I think its better to not split the kids up. But I never went through it so my advice is probably worthless.

I am sorry your facing this situation, it must suck

I don't really see it as a bad thing.

A lot of people think when it comes to divorce & custody the mother should have the child/children.

I admit I was one of those. But now I see differently. If you think he would do a good, healthy job of raising Eric, I don't see why not.

Quoting ♥ 's3LittleMonkeys:“ I am really confused and I feel like a really bad parent for this.. When my SO and I were going to ... [snip!] ... a sense. I am still confused, my mom along with my sister made it seem like a very bad thing of me to do.. opinions please.”

i guess because kids should always be with thier mom. how old is he? depending on the age i would let the child decicde. my daughter decided she wanted to live with her father and she's 8. so i'm letting her. its only temporary just for the school year. but i still asked her what she wanted to do and she told me.

I don't think it's good to split your kids up... It'll be hard on them too... Plus it's showing your daughters that daddy doesn't care about them as much as he cares about Eric... And I don't think i could give up one of my kids that easily...

keep your kids together.. if there are other issues.. get help. I would feel like my mom chose my siblings over me. or that my dad chose my brother..

i don't think you're wrong for saying that as long as you think your child is safe with him. However if I were in that position, I'd be damned if he took my son from me.

i agree with McLeary about not splitting up children,

but i don't think it's bad to let a father take his son, if you trust him. it IS his son too. but divorce is really hard on a child, and he would feel more stable with his brothers and sisters.

well wait, are they his brothers and sisters? even if they aren't bologically but he looks at them that ay, then i think it would be best for him to stay with you

Quoting Elise08:“ I don't think it's good to split your kids up... It'll be hard on them too... Plus it's showing your ... [snip!] ... daddy doesn't care about them as much as he cares about Eric... And I don't think i could give up one of my kids that easily...”

excellent point

i dont see it as a bad thing you will be a single parent of 3 kids its hard and its not too bad, unless the other kids are his too and he doent wanna take them

I personally would never let my child go with my SO if we were breaking up, even though i know he would be a great father.I couldnt deal with my son not being with me.
I dont think it's wrong for your son to be with his father, it just seemed unfair to me that he would only want the boy. And also your reason being it would be easier on you only having 2 children to take care, seems a little unfair to me too. You gave birth to 3 children, just because he's a boy, doesnt mean he belongs with his father. I understand why they were mad at you, they probably were a little too harsh, but i understand.

Quoting oddish:“ i agree with McLeary about not splitting up children, but i don't think it's bad to let a father take ... [snip!] ... sisters? even if they aren't bologically but he looks at them that ay, then i think it would be best for him to stay with you”

Yea well my oldest is his sister but just from me, and my youngest is his sister from both mom and dad..But of course they all look at eachother as family, my SO took her as his from the time I found out I was pregnant.