re: This is my first post

Im going to bed goodnight to all!

Quoting boo.:“ Why?”

because of my religion i just dont think its right to have sex outside of marriage.

Quoting *Tera*:“ because of my religion i just dont think its right to have sex outside of marriage.”

Queer.

Quoting boo.:“ Queer.”

hmm..ok..

Quoting *Tera*:“ idk maybe i am old fashion but i thinkyou should be married before you have kids...but i dont think you ... [snip!] ... idk if thatmakes sense.. i just personally wouldnt have a baby outside of marriage..*yes i was a virgin until my wedding night*”

I respect that. I was with my daughter's dad from the age of 14 onto 19. We were married at 17. The unbearable pressue of being married to everyones liking is IMO completely responsible for our demise. I will not get married again baby or not.

Quoting Kelli Jo *RUFF*:“

thanks..Being marriedtakes work..baby or no baby.. thankfully i have a great husband and family.. i love being married..but i know its not for everyone..

Quoting Kelli Jo *RUFF*:“ I respect that. I was with my daughter's dad from the age of 14 onto 19. We were married at 17. The ... [snip!] ... of being married to everyones liking is IMO completely responsible for our demise. I will not get married again baby or not.”

dont get me wrong.. i think every baby deserves a mommy and daddy happy family..but i am not one of those people that push everyone to get married just cause they have a baby together.

I understand that it is security for some people, as well as a emotional and spiritual connection. As far as security for sake of the child I don't agree so much. I was married to Maddy's dad . I had a fair court hearing and a decent divorce. However, he doesnt pay child support on time, and he is very bad at respecting my choices as a custodial parent.
On the other hand,I have an amazing man that takes good care of myself and my daughter and he doesnt have a ring on his finger. Maddy isnt his child, but he still stays because he loves us. So, IMO marriage isnt always a secure situation for your child. I have all the security I need and no ring.  

Quoting Kelli Jo *RUFF*:“ I understand that it is security for some people, as well as a emotional and spiritual connection. As ... [snip!] ... he loves us. So, IMO marriage isnt always a secure situation for your child. I have all the security I need and no ring.  ”

I understand you can have it all with out being married.. I was just assuming she loved him enough to want a baby with him then she would love him enough to marry him..(its sad but in society generally people are more supportive of babies and parents when they are married and out of school..because she stated that she was worried about how her family would react..I said get married 1st that..) I am not saying that you can’t be a happy family unless your married.. I should have watched how I worded that.. I just assume everyone is head over heels in love, mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally before they get married.. I don’t mean to be rude or pass judgment on anyone for having a baby out of marriage.. I just said personally I wouldn’t do it because of the way I was raised..

Quoting boo.:“ Oh my god,why because she's 19?”

i'm 19 too. but i didn't plan for this. young women can be good mothers, my sister is living proof of that. But to be trying to concieve at this age is just plain nuts. finish college, see the world. I don't think people get how hard it is-and any teenaged mom will tell you (married, engaged, or w/e) that it is harder than they ever imagined. I'm not saying that it isn't rewarding, but it is not fair to the child not to wait until you are financially and emotionally stable enough, and mature enough to actually handle him. Which...if this chick thinks babysitting is the same thing, i'm sorry but she's not. jmo

Quoting SummerMama333:“ i'm 19 too. but i didn't plan for this. young women can be good mothers, my sister is living proof of ... [snip!] ... mature enough to actually handle him. Which...if this chick thinks babysitting is the same thing, i'm sorry but she's not. jmo”

we are and were financially, emotionally stable enough, and mature enough to have a child when we got married at 18 and had a baby at 19... i dont wanna rable on but weown ourown home and my husband makes outstanding money....i dont think your age makes a difference....i know some 30-40 year olds that dont have their life together..and some that arent as financially set or as mature as my husband and i are...but yeah most moms..teenage or not will tell you its harder then they thought. i dont regret having my son at all..yes its way more work then i though but its much more rewarding as i thought it would be.. dont get me wrong i am not saying all teens need to get pregnant.. i am just saying its not about age..its about how mature you are and how ready you are to be a parent..and in this case i dont think she's ready.

Quoting *Tera*:“ we are and were financially, emotionally stable enough, and mature enough to have a child when we got ... [snip!] ... not about age..its about how mature you are and how ready you are to be a parent..and in this case i dont think she's ready.”

there are always exceptions. i just know a lot of people my own age, and (luckily) don't really even relate to them lately cause theyre so immature...and maturity usually does come with age- though i've seen young people with immense amounts and older with very little. So it does depend. I just worry when i see someone ttc so young, cause i know how much my life has changed already, and though i wouldn't trade my life for anything i know that if it hadn't been for this little miracle, I wouldn't be ttc with my hubby for another 5-10 yrs (even though we were engaged prior to the pregnancy).