Double loss

Hi all, I lost my Madelyn last month, I was 30 weeks pregnant and she just stop breathing. She was born on July 22nd, 2008. She was 2lbs and 11ozshe wasjust perfect. Her dad and I are not married and we have only been together for a little over a year. I broke things off with him when I was pregnant because I felt that things were just not what they should be. He and my mom dont get along and never had, not to mention the fact he started acten really crazy after he found out I was pregnant. He began saying things like he didn't understand why we need a decor for the babys room and he didn't understand why she need a mobile for her crib. He told me that children up to the age of two had the same learning ability of a dog. Ontop of all of that we were fighting constantly about every little thing. The kicker was when we went to the doctor to find out what the baby's sex was. He wanted a boy so bad he could taste it but as it turned out she was a girl, my first question was, is she ok? is she developing right,? does she have all of her finigers and toes? He on the other hand began to pout and acted like he was in mourning over a death for 3 days. I told him we were over and that our daughter would know that she has 2 parents that loved her no matter if they were together or not. I never wanted him to feel like he wasn't apart of things so I told him to keep comming to the doctors appts and we even went shopping together for baby stuff. We started to try to make things work but he kept pushing me to do things his way and that would make me not want to be with him. When we found out that Madelyn had passed I was such a pile of mush, I couldn't breath all I could do was cry uncontrolably. My baby girl was gone how was I gonna go on with out her andhe stayed with me through everything in the hospital, he was great. Once I came home he started acten just like he did before. He told me I wasn't being their for him which I wasn't because I couldn't think of trying tohold him up when I couldn't even pick myself up. I was a mess and still am for that matter, I cry constantly. I am so mad at the world right now and yet I have had so many people helping me through this. I guess my question is I know I still love him and always will for that matter but I don;t know if I can go on with him? What do you guys think? and has anyone ever been in this situtation of not being able to stay with their partner after such a bad loss?? I know this sounds selfish but I am mad at him for making me worrie and wonder about us when I should be giving all my energy to thinking about Madelyn.
Thanks to all that take the time to read this and respond!

Quoting Madelyn"s Mom:“ Hi all, I lost my Madelyn last month, I was 30 weeks pregnant and she just stop breathing. She was born ... [snip!] ... us when I should be giving all my energy to thinking about Madelyn. Thanks to all that take the time to read this and respond!”

im soo sorry to hear that..

I think he is very inconsiderate. You can do better without his ass. JMO.

I am so sorry for your loss

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl.

firstly im very sorry for your loss...

secondly i think that you need to concentrate on getting yourself through such a terrible thing and not have him sapping your energy and strength.

I am so sorry for your loss I can't imagine your pain. I do know that it is very common for couples to split after a loss of a child! My MIL owns a business that deals with miscarage and loss of young infants. She herself lost her baby after he was born due to a very rare disease and also had a miscarage at around 16 weeks which also caused her to have a hysterectomy! She has told me that most marriages or relationships don't last because you both are going through such tramendous pain how can you comfort the one you are suppose to love! I hope in time that you will experience healing and that if you were meant to be together that you will experience a unique bond through this experience! Maybe eventually you can draw comfort in eachother. THoughts and prayers are with you!

I think that you definitely need to focus on you.When I lost my son, my husband was devastated, but seemed to 'get over it' a little quicker than I did.... I think that when they don't have a physical bond, like we do, they don't understand how huge of a loss it is. I'm sure not all guys are like that... and my husband has always been extremely supportive of me, even still... but I did feel like he gained his strength back far quicker than I did.
Give him some time... but do it for you. Don't worry about him just yet... get a good support group of people. (I like to think we're pretty awesome here...  ) I found a support group close to my home that I went to a couple times...

But concentrate on making you okay right now.

i lost my son cole over two years ago. i lost his father shortly therafter because i was lost in my own grief i failed to realize it happened to him also.i know now he just wanted me to be next to him and say it would be fine but i coulndt think past myself.i still barely make it through each day but it makes it worse when i see him around town and how sad he looks.madelyn's mom i would say dont get rid of him yet.men dont understand why we need time.but if he stayed all throught the hard times at the hospital and is trying too hard to make it work maybe he is just scared of losing you to.dont make the same mistakes i made.i lost the 2 best things in my life and i had control over one

im sorry for your loss 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry that you lost your baby girl  

I am so sorry to hear that u lost ur lil baby girl..  but hold ur head up high.. and go on with ur life with out him..

I dont think u deserve someone who doesnt appreciate wat a wonderful women u r.. u were going to give him the join of becoming a father regardles of the baby beign a boy or a girl.. he was and u were..

Remember ur a mommy to an angel.. always remember it.. I feel so sorry that had to happend.. I feel ur pain.. and i am here for u..