Military wives.. advice please...

my hubby is in the navy on a sub. he usually gets deployed from 3-6 months. im usto it. but right before he left we were having issues. like he expects me to do everything around the house WHILE taking care of jazmine. and everytime i ask him to watch her for a few mins he ends up falling asleep and jazmine is crying bloody murder because she wants to play. and of course, hes too tired to play. EVERYDAY. But anyways, we pretty much get 1-2 mail drops a patrol, and he told me that i wouldnt be recieving anything for the first mail drop because he didnt make the "deadline". usually when he says that, its because he forgot to write me. So i am pretty much getting fed up with this whole crap. how im bending my back for him, yet he can do the same for me.. is that being selfish? OH and i forgot to mention, when he went to miami for his cousin's funeral, he went down the for a week. and the punk went to south beach to drink with his cousins. went TWICE to the theaters. I dont know how long its been since I went to the movies. or have a day to myself. I feel like me and him are drifting apart. my question is has anybody gone through this and worked out? or ya ended up separating? i just need advice!!!

it sucks but being a military wife is one of the hardest things to do. My husband is an EOD tech in the Army and is gone for 3 days to 6 months depending on the situation not to mention the deployments overseas for 12-15months and it used to be the same thing, when he got home he expected the house to be spotless, his laundry done and put away and dinner on the table. We are having our first baby in March so there were no kids to take care of but I was working full time. Well, when he started talking about wanting kids I sat down with him and told him that things were going to have to change and that I needed help around the house, especially considering the times I have to do it by myself. This talk happened about 6 months ago and so far things have been different. Sometimes he slips and I just remind him that although he works hard I have my place to and its not to be at his beck and call all the time. Sorry it's so long but you are not going through this alone, I think we all have problems at some point. Good luck with everything and if you need to talk just pm me.

Quoting Yamie:“ my hubby is in the navy on a sub. he usually gets deployed from 3-6 months. im usto it. but right before ... [snip!] ... drifting apart. my question is has anybody gone through this and worked out? or ya ended up separating? i just need advice!!!”

I went through that... my husband is lazy, doesn't clean up after himself... after I have repeatedly asked him to help out with Rhilee since I'm getting so big and bending over hurts, he wont, I still feed, dress, play with, bathe, brush teeth, and hair for my daughter just to turn around and clean the house, make him dinner and EVERYTHING... I'm leaving him. I'm done and I want a divorce... I feel like I'm living with an annoying roommate that asks me to have sex once in a while.... I feel for you... BTW, mines also Navy....

its hard being a navy wife, i was navy active duty for a while and my hubby is still navy.
my hubby just got home from a 7 month deployment in june and his ship leaves again in january. it sucks.
about the whole not writing you thing.. being a small ship it was hard finding time to write. i can't imagine having time to do ANYTHING on a sub... but let him know its not fair that you do everything... marriage alone is hard work...miltary marriage is 100 times harder..as soon as you get used tro everything they come home and mess it up, you get used to a schedule then they leave again... its hard but if you ever wanna talk just PM me

sounds like your just getting stretched too thin. i'm sorry. i hope it gets better for you

Thank you ladies.. it feels good knowing that i am not going through this by myself. And before we even thought about having a baby we were good. even wen i was pregnant we were doing great. no arguements. my hubby is yn. he does paperwork. but when hes out, they really cant do much since they dont have access to internet and all that. so they cant really deal with it. so he just qualifies for things around the boat. and honestly i am not looking forward to him coming home. i feel like i have really fallen out of love with him. and what i hate is that, i bend my back over him, which i dont mind, but why cant he do the same? an di want to separate because emaybe thats what he nneeds. a wake up call, but i am just so tired of begging him to change. like my friend says, youc an bring a horse to a river but you cant force him to drink. and i dont know how to tell him that i want a break. because usually hell be like oh imma change but he does for like 2 weeks and then everything goes back down the drain. im sorry if this is long, i just really need to vent.. and i cant really trust anybody here because i know for a fact that the whole boat will find out within a day.

Quoting Yamie:“ Thank you ladies.. it feels good knowing that i am not going through this by myself. And before we even ... [snip!] ... need to vent.. and i cant really trust anybody here because i know for a fact that the whole boat will find out within a day.”

I'm sorry hun... but if you think a seperation will help then try it.... Tell him that's how you FEEL.... Marriage counseling stressed that one, using FEEL... Or you can try marriage counseling first... if that doesn't work then try the seperation.... I tried all that... Seperated twice and now I'm no my last... I'm done... I don't have any patients though... I wish you the best of luck because I know what you are going through and I have been there... If you need to talk , PM me