what do i do

i don't have any idea upon what to do anymore..

Mark is a completely different person when he's with me than from when hes away from me... aka i'm at work or he's at work or something...

ever since we miscarried its gotten much worse...today he told me that he's been wanting to split up with me for months and wants me to move out... but when we're together its much different...he's taking his sheriff dept. exam in Ventura and keeps saying "when WE move" "when WE get a place down there".... shit like that.. he's still all lovey in person... he still holds me and makes love to me....and everything...

today he texts me and said "you're not going to like the new person we hired" "why not" "that chick started today" (he's a painter btw) "yeah..so?" "she's good looking" "big deal... can't control attraction"..."She has a nice truck" ... "mark i don't care... are you just trying to pry under my skin or what?"

BTW i work at a prison when many men gaurds...do i ever tell him that some of them are attractive? no... because it doesnt effing matter... why worry the guy over nothing...

i dont know what to do.. mark has been diagnosed when a chemical imbalance in his brain and his dad is bipolar...

he even brought up "you know im a different person at times".... and then went on to saying "what do i have to do fucking cheat on you?"

i can't walk away from mark.. i dont know what it is... hes the only one ive never been able to leave...

i feel like im holding my arms out to a person that's never going to come to me.. and my arms are getting tired...

By him saying what do i have to do fucking cheat on you it sounds like he is trying to get you to leave him...i know that is hard to do when you love someone but i think you should definately stop ttc if you haven't already and start thinking about your happiness. If he doesn't want you to be happy or would say things like that to you then he's not worth it. A onesided relationship will never work out in the end.

Quoting CherryGarcia:“ i don't have any idea upon what to do anymore.. Mark is a completely different person when he's with ... [snip!] ... to leave... i feel like im holding my arms out to a person that's never going to come to me.. and my arms are getting tired...”

My last BF before my hubby was bi-polar. I couldn't take it.

wow i know exactly how u feel me and my babys father split up for good 3 weeks ago. i had to walk away. his father is bipolar and i think he is too..he could be the nicest most loving person and then act completley different at times..also he had cheated on me before. it seems like they are so self absorbed that they are incapable of bieng in a healthy relationship. sometimes you have to do whats best for yourself even if it doesnt feel right at the time and walk away

Quoting CherryGarcia:“ i don't have any idea upon what to do anymore.. Mark is a completely different person when he's with ... [snip!] ... to leave... i feel like im holding my arms out to a person that's never going to come to me.. and my arms are getting tired...”

hey, i work @ a prison in FL, wut is your job??

I'm a CNA, I'm in school to get to LVN

...and it's just fuckin hard to leave him, i hate my heart feeling on way about it and my mind thinking another. I hate that I've found myself in this situation, like all of me wants to believe that things will be better soon.. and that this is just like this for now because we miscarried... but who honestly says "What do i have to do fucking cheat on you?" to a person that you care about...
i don't have any where to go except for my moms and I'm going to feel like a complete jackass going back to her..like I'm more than welcome to go back... but you know.. we did this shit so young in their eyes and i don't want to hear that "i told you so bullshit"...

i wish that it wasn't back and forth with him... especially in the same day...like today i know he'll come home and be all lovey and shit...

 
i want to just vanish for a while and come back