re: funny/shocking/frustrating pregnancy stories

How's this for frustrating.... I can't find any clothes that fit! I go shopping and because I'm the size of a house, I naturally head for the maternity section... problem is... everything there is way too big on me. Even the smallest size falls off of me. So that, of course, is a beauty boost and makes me feel not so fat. I then head to the junior section hoping to find something that has an elastic waist and looks cute and wont look like I shouldn't be wearing it because I'm pregnant... pregnant women understand that right?! Guess what?! Most everything there fits if I buy a dress. That's right... I've been limited to pretty much wearing only dresses because I'm not big enough for maternity but I'm too big for juniors. Isn't there an InBetweenie Section I can find somewhere?!

Quoting JENN1983:“ I'M ONLY 17 AND A HALF WEEKS ALONG AND I CAN NOT REACH MY LEGS! I HAVE TO HAVE MY HUSBAND SHAVE MY LEGS ... [snip!] ... AND HE EVEN MADE ME A RAZOR ON A STICK SO I CAN DO IT MYSELF WHEN HE'S AT WORK. I'M DREADING THE NEXT 22 AND A HALF WEEKS!!!”

I have no idea why, but the visual of someone trying to shave their legs with a razor on a stick.....LOL!!! That got me laughing my a** off!!

Before my first child aprille was born my then boyfriend now husband Jason and i were having some of that labor inducing sex. and up until then i hadnt started leaking from my breasts. and granted this was 2 days before the baby came. We were really getting into it and jason put his forehead on my breast and i squirted right in his eye. he stopped all disgusted. he was like "is that normal" lol
needless to say he doesnt go near them. esp now that im pregnant again. he says milk duty can be left to the kids.

Well mara, i was awfully traumatized after this happend. Since being pregnant, i've been super constipated, and fiber isn't helping. One day i went for my daily walk. It had been about four days since i'd had a real bowl movement. I was almost done walking and realized i had to poop like you wouldn't believe!!!! i sped walked the two blocks i had left, and dodged all my talkitive neighbors. I finally got home and secured my self on the pot. sure enough i had a healthy horrible bowl movement, that left me shaking and white. Unfortunatly however it was not diahreah, it was very hard to pass. After i had expelled everything i took a few breathes of relief, and began the clean up process. only to discover that the toilet paper rather then being covered with poop. was covered in cheer blood. I turned whiter and almost past out. (i'm a CNA not at all squeamish) so i baby wiped it, and called my mommy!!!! damn those hemroids that no body really talks about :{. This was in my six month of pregnancy. i found it humorous later, the BM was so big, i had to use the plunger to get it down the toilet. it took four flushes.

I personally don't have any stories that have happend.... BUT my sister and I were walking through walmart (she was trying to put herself into labor) and she has horrible allergies. Well were were just walking along and she stopped and looked at me with a terrified look and said ...I've got to sneeze so she crossed her legs and sneezed.. apparantly the crossing of the legs didn't help much cuz she peed... not just a dribble either and you could REALLY TELL.. so she started laughing hysterically then she realized she was in public and started balling.... she ran to the car and I had to run and get her a new pair of shorts....hah ha aaaw that was funny

Quoting Mara:“ Alright, so I'm the artist for all those cartoons in the pregnancy calendar, and as you can see, I'm ... [snip!] ... I decide to use your story as inspiration for one of the missing cartoons. THANK YOU so much for your help!!! Cheers, Mara”

okay well i was at the doctor last month i was like 24 wks along, and i was havin a routine pap...(kinda grose)and out of nowhere my doc said you have a V.N.V and me and my husband looked at each other like huh.....??? the doc said you have a VERY NORMAL VAGINA...i was like ummm thanks...???

Quoting loni500:“ I am not sure if this will fit one of your months or not - but I thought it was really funny when it ... [snip!] ... funny I just had to tell everyone at home - It made me feel attractive - until I turned to myside in the mirror .... Smiles!”

I thought this one was the funniest! I can see it as a commercial for some type of maternity dress  

Okay so a few weeks before I was pregnant I went out and bought a cute springy top for church. And when I tried it on THEN it fit perfectly the wrap was covering up all the boobs and everything looked good. Well when I had to go to my cousins first communion I decided to wear it. I was at my moms house and put it on and I screamed. Everyone in my house came running to the bathroom and I turned to my mom and said "These are not my boobs!!!!!!" they were nearly popping out of the top. Needless to say we laugh about it now and Jay (fiance) says that they are mine just my baby boobies.

This one isn't my story so I'm not sure if you'll use it or not. But my friend Kara was about 9 months pregnant or around there since she was on bedrest for her job and kind of school and I was home sick that day so we were chatting online and she didn't reply to my message for a little while so I signed out of msn thinking her computer stopped working and she later on called me and was freaking out to the extreme and yelling into the phone "MY WATER BROKE! MY WATER BROKE!" and went on how she needs to get the hospital but she was home alone and didn't have a ride there. So I got into my car and went over to her house and I was like "Are you having any contractions, Kara?" and she said "No." and then I was walking around to get her stuff ready and packing (since she didn't plan ahead and didn't have it ready) and I saw a open water bottle on the floor and I picked it up and was like "You spilled some water on the floor by your computer do you want to clean it up before we leave" and her face just went white and she started laughing so hard and said "O-M-G...." and we both started laughing

Quoting Aprille and Leeseys mom:“ Before my first child aprille was born my then boyfriend now husband Jason and i were having some of ... [snip!] ... normal" lol needless to say he doesnt go near them. esp now that im pregnant again. he says milk duty can be left to the kids.”

oh my god my boyfriend is the same way about my leaky boobs it drives me crazy cuz i miss him touching and doing you know the stuff your boyfriend usualy does to your boobs lol... he thinks its so weird... and its not like i can help it.... but oh well least i know i will be able to breast feed with the amount i got ....

Well, I was about 38-39 weeks at the time preggo with my little girl and we were living with DH's grandparents. DH left for work at around noon one day and for the following hours and into the evening I kept running to the bathroom because i thought I was leaking pee. Well, I didn't think anything of it until I decided to smell the underwear to be sure. Gross idea, but no smell. So I tell his grandmother that I think I might be leaking some of my waters. She takes me into the hospital and the nurses run their little tests and they quite politely ask my GMIL to leave the room.

The nurse comes in and whispers.... "honey, did you have intercourse today?"

AHAHAHAHA .... I had forgotten that DH and I had had sex prior to him leaving for work.....

BTW, is it sad that I LITERALLY just sat down and read every single post of this thread starting around 8 pm? .......

Quoting aryn12205:“ BTW, is it sad that I LITERALLY just sat down and read every single post of this thread starting around 8 pm? ......

Nope. I probably would have but I had to do other things. It took me about 3-4 days. At the time the last post was on page 20 or something

Quoting aryn12205:“ Well, I was about 38-39 weeks at the time preggo with my little girl and we were living with DH's grandparents. ... [snip!] ... did you have intercourse today?" AHAHAHAHA .... I had forgotten that DH and I had had sex prior to him leaving for work.....”

ahahahahaha!!!