re: funny/shocking/frustrating pregnancy stories

Quoting momof2andtwinssoon:“ I dont know what this would be categorized as but here it goes. I was probably 24 weeks pregnant with ... [snip!] ... world and one lady said that she didnt know how I was walking around Disney world being pregnant full term!! It is so crazy!!”

people keep telling me I'm going to have my baby soon, I have 10weeks left, he better not come soon. the only reason I look big is b/c i'm so freaking short, and all the weight i've gained goes straight to my stomach.

I have a couple of good ones...
In my 1st trimester I was soo nauseated all of the time..and smells really made me sick...almost every strong smell...
One night my husband and I went out to our fav middle eastern resturant and had a great meal..When we got home he let out a horrid fart ..it smelled so awfull that I lost my supper all over the living room floor..We laughed about it and said that I baba ganushed all over .. 
I'm in my 27 week now and have had pretty bad gas for my whole pregnancy ..which admittedly I find funny at times..The other night my husband and I are in bed and he is sound asleep...suddenly this huge fart comes blasting out of me ..and scares him awake.He actually jumped !! I couldn't stop giggling ...I was so shocked that I had just made that noise..I think the neighbors may have heard it too! The next day he says oh by the way honey "nice ripper last night, I'm proud of ya " ...I was hoping he had forgoten ..oh well..
 

finally remembered a couple!

1. ok my very first doc apt. for my pregnancy i didnt know wat to expect, plus i had wanted to see a doctor anyways because i had a little tear from sex that was not healing that was bothering me. So my boyfriend and i go to our first doctors apt. we both really liked her and got through it just fine. then at the end she asked me if i had any questions and i was like 'uuummm well i have something down there i wanted you to look at' lol and shes all 'ummmmm well i dont normally do exams till the second visit but yeah ill go ahead and take a look' so i got undressed she looked at it and basically said yes it is a cut and it will heal then she told me i could get dressed and left the room and of course my BOYFRIEND decided he wanted to start actin stupid and when i got up he was trying to get me to bend over in front of him (naked) he was sitting in the chair and we were playing around i bent over in front of him for litarelly half as second and shook my butt which of course it was the moment the nurse walked in! she was like 'o my god!' covered her eyes and ran out like 'im so sorry i didnt know you werent dressed' (she probably had no idea y i wasnt wearing clothes due to the fact that the doctor doesnt do an exam till the second visit!) all i could do was stand there and laugh..


2. So a couple weeks ago me and my friends were hangin out in the kitchen me who's pregnant my friend who's never had kids and my other friend who has two kids (who should have the most knowledge on the subject right?) lol shes such an air head.. so were just sitting there talking and i say my tailbone is hurting me really bad, my friend who has never had a kid said "i thought you said your tampon was hurting i was like wtf?!?!?!" and we started cracking up. then my friend w/TWO kids (thats two pregnancies) goes 'can you were tampons when your pregnant??" me and my other friend stopped dead and just looked at her, i was waiting for her to figure out wat she had just said but she just sat there w/a blank look on her face and goes '...........can you?" i give her about 5 more seconds of silence and finally go 'anab, y the hell would you want to?' lol about 5 MORE seconds later she finally goes 'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh!' ahahahah all of this while shes holding her 3month old in her arms.

Quoting chub-a-lubz:“ finally remembered a couple! 1. ok my very first doc apt. for my pregnancy i didnt know wat to expect, ... [snip!] ... seconds later she finally goes 'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh!' ahahahah all of this while shes holding her 3month old in her arms.”

the second story made me laugh.

I asked my husband if we should have sex one more time before the baby comes.....He very nicely looked at me and asked "How?????"....he is lucky I have a sense of humor

I was on the phone to DH, we have been married 5 years and weren't planning on a pregnancy. I told him that morningI felt a bit queazy and threw up. I figured I had a 24 hour stomach virus. He asked if I was pregnant and I told him "I'm 99.999% sure I wasn't pregnant"and he had no need to worry. Well, the home pregnancy test disagreed with my mathematical assessment.... three times!

I'm just going to assume that it's normal for people in the last weeks of pregnancy to lose all control of their bodily functions because here's what happened to me just the other day: I'm touring my sister-in-law's new house for the first time and we're standing in the kitchen chatting when all of a sudden my butthole just BLOWS UP. I had had Mexican food for lunch, so it was pretty bad. SOOO loud. And of course, this is a brand-new house with barely anything in it yet (they're in the process of moving now) so the sound echos. She just stopped what she was saying and stood there staring at me in the silence for a second. I was mortified. Thank God she decided to make light of the situation by saying, "Well thanks for the house-warming present!"

Quoting Brady's wife, Brady's mam:“ I'm just going to assume that it's normal for people in the last weeks of pregnancy to lose all control ... [snip!] ... I was mortified. Thank God she decided to make light of the situation by saying, "Well thanks for the house-warming present!"”

that made me laugh...it happens to me too, but thankfully everything it's happened to me, I've been at home..

Since I've quit smoking and have conceived I've developed a superhuman sense of smell. Most things I smell make me nausus, including my fiance. there have been many nights I've had to ask him to get out of bed and shower. The problem with thatthe first time though was that the body wash he used stunk too, so he had to shower again using a bar soap. since then I went and picked out some body wash for him that smells good to me. poor guy!

I wish I could tell some funny stories about my pregnancy, but I have none yet. I do have some from when my mom was pregnant with me though.

My mom's never told me how far along she was at this time, but apparently she was far along enough that when I kicked you could def. feel it. (I was a very active baby.) They had just gone to bed and my dad was sleeping with his back to my mom when all of a sudden he yelled at her. I had kicked him straight in the kidneys....really hard.

For this one, it was my mom's due date (Dec. 25, 1986, I was 2 weeks late.) and she was wearing a billowy shirt and I kicked and she flashed everyone. Haha.

I was born when this one happened. I was about 2 weeks old and I was a very greedy baby. My mom wasn't breastfeeding because I wouldn't drink it so my dad was feeding me at the time. Since I was the first baby and my dad was clueless he fed the whole 8 oz bottle to me. When my mom came into the room my dad was playing with me (throwing me in the air, stuff like that) Right as she fussed him for feeding me that much I spit up down the front of his shirt all the way into his pants. From there on he didn't feed me anymore.

One more. My mom's labor with me lasted quite a while, so my dad had fallen asleep in the waiting room. I was born while he was sleeping so when the nurses found him they brought him to the nursery to see me. He's lookin through the window when he spots a Big (I was 9 lbs 1 oz) baby with blue eyes and white blonde hair and started asking the dad's who the baby was far because he though she was gorgeous. Sure enough when the nurse showed him his baby it was me. Haha.

Quoting Lou1:“ Since I've quit smoking and have conceived I've developed a superhuman sense of smell. Most things I ... [snip!] ... had to shower again using a bar soap. since then I went and picked out some body wash for him that smells good to me. poor guy!”

that's hilarious.....that reminds me how i make my husband do all kinds of nonsensical things. My legs were cramping so i asked him to rub this pain cream on and try to see if it helped, I was trying to avoid getting out of bed to take a bath to soothe my legs and just go to sleep. He very meticulously rubbed it on my legs and it seemed to work, until i got really cold because that's what that stuff does. This followed by a good 5 minutes of me complaining about how i was cold, i needed more blanket, i needed him to snuggle me more, and blah blah blah. Finally I was like screw this and got up at 1 am to take a warm bath anyway but it was just to wash that cold stuf off.

These stories are so funny =) .. Ok well heres something that happened to me i wouldn't actually say it was funny it was more frustrating then anything.. well my hubby was in west virginia for training last week and well i stayed home alone well about 1:00am i woke up because i wanted to use the bathroom so i went i did my thing and i flushed the toilet and everything came out of the toilet i mean everything ..so i cleaned it up with bleach and i used the plunger on the toilet and i thought i had fixed it so i flushed it again and everything came out again..after i had cleaned it like crazy..i got mad so i sat down in the hallway crying my eyes out and my little chihuahua had no idea what was going on she was looking in the bathroom saw the water everywhere and she looked at me and she started crying too we both sat there crying for like 2 hours. so finally i got over it and i cleaned it again... i havent really cried during my pregnancy but that day just pissed me off =(

So at my first Doc appt, because I was a new patient, my doc decided to give me a breast exam. I'm thinking, "mkay, no problem," and I pull my arm out of the sleeve of my gown, put it over my head and wait. She does the breast exam and then asks me if I plan on breastfeeding. I reply with a simple yes, as long as I'm able to, and she begins pinching my nipples telling me how I'll need to do this because I have "innies" (my word, not hers lol). It's at this moment that I look over at the hubby, and he's staring at the ceiling, face beet red, and eyes bugging out. I giggle a little at him and leave it at that.
After the apointment and we get in my Jeep, I look over at him and ask him if any part of the apointment made him uncomfortable. He looks at me, blushes and says yes. So I ask him if it was the breast exam. He nods and I say, "well why?"
His reply?

"Those are mine!"

I am sure that this has been a story most moms have posted sometime or another.

Well i am sick..and it sucks so bad. But anyways to the funny part. I will get into a sneezing/coughing fits. and in these fits if i don't have a pantie liner on i will pee myself so bad! And the worst part of it is that this normally happens at work! All i do is sneeze or cough just a little and "woosh!!!" feels like all the fluid i have ever put into my body comes out! and i can't move right away otherwise it will make is so much more worse! I am 21 weeks now but I am afrade that by the end of my pregnancy i will be in depends for this!