re: funny/shocking/frustrating pregnancy stories

Now I have to tell him two years later I'm pg again!

haha those stories are too funny..well i have one..i am 27 weeks now and i was discussing with a friend who had just recently had a baby about her delivery process and her water breaking..and my then boyfriend had this completely confused look..so we then explained all about the birthing process and the water breaking..and he looks up and says the funniest yet most innocent thing i think i have heard the whole time i have been pregger..but he says "honey, promise me one thing" so im thinking oh gosh whats wrong and then he says,"if your water breaks on my bed will you buy me a new mattress"it was so innocent yet cute at the same time i couldn't help but laugh..

YOU MAY NOT THINK THIS IS FUNNY BUT I WANTED TO SHARE......I JUST FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY 3RD CHILD. WELL WE TOLD THE KIDS WHEN I WAS ABOUT 4 WEEKS. WELL A FEW DAYS AFTER THE ANNOUNCEMENT MY 6 YEAR OLD CAME INTO MY ROOM AND SAID, "NOW MOMMY, ARE WE GONNA HAVE THIS BABY THIS FRIDAY OR NEXT FRIDAY?" I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER BECAUSE SHE HAD A VERY SERIOUS LOOK ON HER FACE PLUS SHE SAID "WE" LOL.
 

I am 5 weeks pregnant and we decided to tell our 3 year old that mommy has a baby in her tummy - big mistake!! All she talks about is the baby - many questions...

"What is the baby doing in there? Is the baby playing with toys in your tummy?"

"The baby is so excited to come out, it is jumping around on a pogo stick!" (I didn't even know she knew what a pogo stick was!)

I gave her a big hug and she said "Don't hug me too hard you might squeeze the baby and she will cry"

"I love your baby mommy"

"Your baby misses me"

She keeps giving me one of her old nuks and wants me to keep it right next to me until the baby is born!

"When is your baby going to be boring?" ("boring" - "born")!!

One of the many time she was kissing my stomach - it growled and she thought the baby growled at her!

And the list goes on and on and on...

She just can't stop asking questions, we should have waited until I was 8 months pregnant to tell her   She is so dang cute - gotta love her!!

Nikij wrote: Ladies I have been laughing through reading all your posts !! LOL i love this thread!

I have one that could be funny but...maybe not

I can't freakin' stand when people see a big belly and give you an excessive amount of food...for example...

I went into Denny's for coffee and desert with my husband one night. Our server talked about all of her pregnancies and stuff, finally i told her I was having Apple Crisp...THIS CHICK LOADED AN EXCESSIVELY LARGE BOWL OF APPLE CRISP and like 3 scoops of ice cream (assuming my stomache is large enought to handle this). I almost puked just looking at it. OMG. I never want apple crisp again. When i was finished, it looked like i havent touched it...my husband laughed the whole time. He got a small plate with pumpkin pie. I was so irritated! lmao.

It happened again today. We went to dairy queen (i usually get a cookie dough blizzard), this time i decided to have a peanut butter cookie dough blizzard! I mentioned to my husband how much I love peanut butter lately...well the lady at the counter over heard me..when she gives us our food, she said she put extra peanut butter flavor in it because she heard how much I like it...IT WAS SO DISGUSTING! I couldn't finish it. I never wanted that much damn peanut butter! EWWW...she was sweet though, I couldn't be rude  

I can definitely commiserate! I work in a dining hall on a college campus, which is nice because there is always plenty of food to choose from. Nowadays I find I need two plates of food to satisfy myself. Well one day I had gotten one plate of food, and intended on getting half a chicken wrap as well. The girl serving me gave me a full one and loaded it so full I had to eat it with a knife and fork. Now I know to tell her whether I want a pregnancy serving or a regular serving.

About a month or so ago, around when I finally got my appetite back, it was nearing dinner time. I walked by one of the serving lines, and the server asked me if I knew what I was having. I said something like, oh probably the chicken and might have some pasta too. But she was actually referring to the baby, as in am I having a boy or a girl. lol I had to laugh at myself, but you could tell where my mind was at!

Phern wrote: Before I found out I was pregnant I was at my family reunion and one of my close cousins was there with his daughter, Emily, who was about 16 months old at the time and I'm considered her other mother. Her real mother and I were talking when Emily came up to me poked my boob and said baby. I laughed because when I was ten another one of my cousins had thought my boob was a baby too, I think it's just a little kids don't understand thing. Then her mom said, "Be careful that's how I found out I was pregnant. She came up to me one day and poked my stomac and said baby. I said no, there's no baby in there. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant." I didn't reaklly think about it much tell later when my fiance and I finally decided to take a pregnancy test. Well looks like Emily was right again.

It's really strange, but I have heard of some thing similar before, its like some kids have a wierd intuition about it.

About a week ago my step-son was on my lap and he had his hand on my belly and the baby kicked really hard. My step-son quickly pulled back his hand, looked up at me in shock and said "Amber, you must have ate a REALLY big baby." lol it was so cute because that was the first time he had ever felt the baby move.

oh no!! lol i love stories that make my laugh out loud!! thank you for that!

Shay wrote: i doubt this will be used but it made me laugh... a little too much. lol

it was my first pregnancy at 11 wks....i was in the Dr office getting my first listen at the baby's heart! i was soooo happy when i heard it that i began to laugh... well i guess i laughed too hard and blew the speaker on the doppler thing that picks up the heartbeat! the next month i came in Doc had a new one and he giggled and thanked me for him being able to get the new doppler things for his whole office... apparently i broke the last one! haha

i have another funny story also... it was actually at my postpartum check up.... but it was hilarious and i just have to share... ok.. i went in for my 6 wks check up.. well i was breastfeeding... i pumped before i went but the wait was so long that when i finally got into the room, my breasts were full again... well anyways, i was lying there in the nice little sheet thing waiting to be checked...well doc was getting ready to check my breasts and pulled back the sheet...and my boobs just started squirting EVERYWHERE.... even on his glasses and face.....     i thought that was the most embarrassing and funny thing that has ever happened to me...... just figured I'd share that with you all!  

ok this may seem kind of crazy, but when i was about 12wks pregnant i was still getting pretty sick... well one day i was leaning over the toilet (which my husband at that time was calling my newly claimed throne) getting sick... and when i gag it's like i lose all control over everything else... and EVERY time i gagged i farted!! while this was happening my husband happened to be walking by the bathroom.. and all he could do was sit down next to me and roll on the floor laughing!

They say pregnant women are supposed to be more absent-minded than usual.
I didn't really notice much of a difference between now and my prepregnancy absent-mindedness, until the other day:

I was making oatmeal for breakfast, since it was quick, easy, and filling. I opened the package, dumped the contents into the trash can, and stuck the package in my bowl before I had realized what had happened.
Now my husband makes my breakfast  

JENN1983 wrote: I'M ONLY 17 AND A HALF WEEKS ALONG AND I CAN NOT REACH MY LEGS! I HAVE TO HAVE MY HUSBAND SHAVE MY LEGS AND HE EVEN MADE ME A RAZOR ON A STICK SO I CAN DO IT MYSELF WHEN HE'S AT WORK. I'M DREADING THE NEXT 22 AND A HALF WEEKS!!!

LOL thats REALLY funny!  

TinHawk wrote: They say pregnant women are supposed to be more absent-minded than usual.
I didn't really notice much of a difference between now and my prepregnancy absent-mindedness, until the other day:

I was making oatmeal for breakfast, since it was quick, easy, and filling. I opened the package, dumped the contents into the trash can, and stuck the package in my bowl before I had realized what had happened.
Now my husband makes my breakfast  

I always put stuff in the microwave and forget about it

When I was about 7 mos. pregnant with my first daughter, I was getting up about 3 or 4 times a night to use the bathroom. One night, about 3 in the morning, I woke up because I had to use the bathroom. In my still-sleepy mind I thought, "I don't need to turn the light on, I can make it there and back without it." That would seal my fate. I walked to the bathroom, sat down and was instantly stuck in the toilet with my rear end in the water -- my husband had neglected to put the toilet seat down and my hugely-pregnant body was now wedged in there. I yelled for my husband. He got up and came running into the bathroom, flipped on the light and began laughing hysterically! I was livid! He had to help pry me out of the toilet, and has never forgotten to put the seat down again. (I think he's afraid what would happen to him if I were ever put in that position again!)    

andowney wrote: When I was about 7 mos. pregnant with my first daughter, I was getting up about 3 or 4 times a night to use the bathroom. One night, about 3 in the morning, I woke up because I had to use the bathroom. In my still-sleepy mind I thought, "I don't need to turn the light on, I can make it there and back without it." That would seal my fate. I walked to the bathroom, sat down and was instantly stuck in the toilet with my rear end in the water -- my husband had neglected to put the toilet seat down and my hugely-pregnant body was now wedged in there. I yelled for my husband. He got up and came running into the bathroom, flipped on the light and began laughing hysterically! I was livid! He had to help pry me out of the toilet, and has never forgotten to put the seat down again. (I think he's afraid what would happen to him if I were ever put in that position again!)    

LOL!! Now that is sum funny shit! LOL! WHEEEEW Im gonna piss myself    

It's really REALLY funny now. But at the time, and for several months after, I was furious! LOL I'm laughing so hard right now while I'm typing that I have tears!!!! HA HA HA