re: funny/shocking/frustrating pregnancy stories

MoonWolf wrote: Here's a couple of my stories...both from my second pregnancy

I don't remember how far along I was, but I remember having been on the road for a while with my family. I was very hungry and very thirsty. We stopped to get a large drink and fries for me, but nobody else was ready to eat. As we left the parking lot we hit a bump and my drink hit the floor and of course the top came off and it was all over the floor. Without thinking, I got so upset that my drink was gone I threw my fries at it. So, they were all over the floor too. In a matter of seconds I went from being happy, to mad, to crying. My husband teases me about it still, but at least he waited until I was over the incident to start picking.  

The second story isn't as funny, but I figured I'd share it too. I had been upset with my husband over something stupid (I don't even remember what now). While I was taking a nap I dreamed that my husband and his friends were talking about it when I walked in the room. I guess I figured it would be a good time to bring out "the super soakers" because I lifted my shirt and proceeded to squirt all of them from range with breast milk. When I woke up I wasn't upset anymore. I told him about it and he thought it was funny. I jokingly threaten him with it sometimes still.  

I guess your signature kind of goes along with your second story then., huh? lol

I don't know if its appropriate or whatever but...

My boyfriend and I were having relations just about the time the baby normally wakes up inside of me nad wants to play "kick mommy's kidneys" - I wasn't paying much attention because i figured he would be calm - he'd never really kicked while we fooled around buuuuut...

Daniel was pressed against my tummy and Gabriel (my little angel/kickboxer) kicked me so hard Daniel felt it..jumped up..and fell off the bed.......

When we found out that I was pregant the first time our lil girl was 5 so one day I asked her what she wanted to have a lil brother or sister and she said she wanted a sister. So after that being said I asked her what would happen If it was a little brother and she said that we would return it so I asked her where would we return it to and she said well Wal-mart ofcourse that is where you return everything else. I peed on myself after she said that

So I KNOW you wont use this but... I HAVE to tell someone and If I told some one I knew my husband would KILL me. This is our 1st child for the both of us which is VERY exciting so we are going through the emotions together. When I puked, he felt like puking when I got bigger he gained weight. The only emotion we didnt grow together in was SEX. Plian and simple I dont want it b-c I feel Gross and Dirty and FAT but my husband on the other hand wants sex ALL the TIME. He thinks Im the sexest thing on this earth. I cant figure out why with my cow nipples and my nasty hair everywhere and I cant see my crouth anymore so who knows what that looks like.   Anyways- I have taking it upon myself to satisfiy my man even though lord knows I dont want to. FOR the FIRST time in 7 months I was horny the other day. GREAT   I couldnt wait to get home from work. When I did I kissed my husband thousand times which he knows isnt normal b-c thats another thing I cant do. I hate kissing since Ive been prego. We started fooling around and got into it. Just as he inserted himself inside me , I heard my stomach RUMBLE LOUDLY   and a LOUD LOUD LOUD LONG FART came out. He threw me off of him and ran for cover in the living room. HOW EMBRASSING!!!!!!!   I could have DIED.   I then while laughing started CRYING histaractly.... OH MAN... it wasnt a good day for us that night. Needless to say- We didnt have sex for a couple of days.

Well I seriously thought this was the funniest thing that has happened to me so far. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with my first child. So every single experience is a new one for me. And not only new, but absolutely a clueless experience. When I first felt my child move I thought I had gas...so I was trying to pass gas all night not realizing that what I was actually feeling was what I had been waiting for since the day I found out I was pregnant. My little fluttering baby  

So a few days ago I was driving home in 5 o' clock traffic, and before I left work I had gotten a bottle of Sprite because I was feeling really woozy. My first drink I felt him bouncing around and he seemed to LOOOOVE Sprite     So as the traffic started moving I felt this pressure on my belly button that was terrifying   Not painful just awkward. I was so scared to look down because I thought I was going to see and infants foot crawling out of my body. So as I mustered the courage to look down. I saw a clear as day imprint of my sons foot protruding out of my belly button. I quickly pressed it in so I wouldn't freak myself out anymore than I already did!!!      

I vowed after that...that I would never drink Sprite again!!!  

I am a married very happy mother of 3 kids. They are all almost exactually 19 months apart. My baby is going to be 4 this month. Well to our complete and total shock we just found out i am pregnant with #4. Well my son and I were waiting on my 5 yr old to get off the bus we were talking about the new baby. After a little chat he looked at me and inquired as to who's baby it was. Kinda shocked i told him it was mommy and daddys baby. Well of course the next question just had to be "well how did it get there?" Well like i said he's only 4 so i was sitting there trying to think of how to answer the question, when he started freaking out and screaming as loud as possiable, "OMG mommy you ATE the baby!!!" Well of course i thought that was the funniest thing i had ever heard. I told him no i didn't eat the baby and kinda avoided the well how did it get there question. And if any one askes him about it he will proudly tell people he thought mommy ate it. I figure in a few years(hopefully quite a few) when he understands how it got there i can tell him about it and make him laugh as hard as i did. I know not the funniest but just had to share it. LOL

My story happened when I was about 8 months pregnant with my first. I went into the ladies room at work, for the millionth time that day. This particular bathroom only had two stalls. The larger stall was occupied, so I took the smaller one. When I was done, I turned sideways to open the stall door. The door opened as far as my tummy and wouldn't budge. I ended up wedged between the wall and the stall door. The person in the other stall had already left, so I was stuck in there for about 5 minutes until a customer came in and helped me get unstuck.  

Shay wrote: i doubt this will be used but it made me laugh... a little too much. lol

it was my first pregnancy at 11 wks....i was in the Dr office getting my first listen at the baby's heart! i was soooo happy when i heard it that i began to laugh... well i guess i laughed too hard and blew the speaker on the doppler thing that picks up the heartbeat! the next month i came in Doc had a new one and he giggled and thanked me for him being able to get the new doppler things for his whole office... apparently i broke the last one! haha

i have another funny story also... it was actually at my postpartum check up.... but it was hilarious and i just have to share... ok.. i went in for my 6 wks check up.. well i was breastfeeding... i pumped before i went but the wait was so long that when i finally got into the room, my breasts were full again... well anyways, i was lying there in the nice little sheet thing waiting to be checked...well doc was getting ready to check my breasts and pulled back the sheet...and my boobs just started squirting EVERYWHERE.... even on his glasses and face.....     i thought that was the most embarrassing and funny thing that has ever happened to me...... just figured I'd share that with you all!  

so funny he he lol  

Oh my god, I was laughing so hard I started crying. I haven't laughed like that since I became pregnant. lol.
I got one cute one though....

I am 19 years old and moved out my parents house a month before I got pregnant. It took me 3 months to tell my mom I was pregnant, but since she knows now, I'm not trying to avoid her anymore.
I am 33 weeks pregnant now, and I have a 4 year old sister, who doesn't know yet. My mom doesn't want her going around with her big mouth telling everyone my business.

Well, last week I went to visit my mom, and I recently started showing alot, and the whole time my sister was smiling at me. I asked her what was wrong, and she shyly said nothing but kept smiling and staring at me wierdly.
Then before I left, I told her to give me a hug, she slowly came up to me and gave me a hug and then started laughing when she pulled away.
Well, my mom said that after I left, my mom asked her what was wrong and why she was laughing at me.
My little sister said, "Mommy, my stomach's not gonna get that big when I get that old, will it? Cuz I don't eat alot like Elena does. Her stomach sure has gotten alot bigger."
My mom said she was rolling on the floor laughing. My little sister thought that my stomach was big because I ate too much.
Finally my mom had to tell my little sister, and although she can't quite understand that her big sister is having a little baby, at least she knows that I don't eat alot to make me this big. lol.

ok this one i just loved so much. it's not really funny but it is kinda cute!

*My baby sister was 4 at the time i was pregnant! she was always so worried about the baby because she os actually more like my daugther than my sister. i was eating a banana one day and i was STARVING so i was eating it really fast. well alexis comes up to me and says "SISSY SLOW DOWN.. the baby can't chew that big of bites she's gonna choke on it!!" then rubs my belly and says..."that's ok aimee i got after mommy for you you'll be ok!"

IT WAS SO CUTE i laughed at that forever..she's 7 now and my daughter is 2 and they both love to hear that story.

ncshrty05~ I was 19 when i was pregnant and my little sister was 4 too! she was 5 a month after i had my daughter. she did the same thing before i told her ther was a baby in there. I had to wait until my 2nd trimester to tell her because i have lost so many babies before. anyways she would pick up things off the floor when i was pregnant. she thought the baby would come out and be crawling around the house so she shut ALL of her little toys that the baby could choke on in the closet! it was so cute!

This is my story, kind of funny I supose.  

I was 9 weeks prego, and my fiance's little sister who is sixteen came up to me and very bluntly asked, "Corine? When are you going to get fat?" I just stared at her and said
I didn't know, not for some time. She promptly wandered off and then 3-4 weeks later I had just gone upstairs to get something to eat. ((This just happened a few days ago)) she was sitting on the couch watching TV, I turned with my side facing her, and she hopped right off the couch and bolted over to me screaming "OMG you're getting fat!!" and started to poke and prod at my belly. Sadly she was right! I went to the full body mirror, turned to my side and there was the tell-tale baby bump!  

when i had my ultrasound at 14 weeks, the tech was trying to measure the baby but it was all curled up, so she started shaking the probe on my tummy to get it to straighten up and she was like "EARTHQUAKE AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" it was so funny and I was trying not to laugh. and it surprised the baby and it just moved a little like what`s going on? but it still stayed curled up.

I am 18 weeks
and yesterday I tried to sit up to get out of bed, and I could not do it.
My husband had to help me do the side roll and up thing
I was crying, and hubby was laughing

Here's something you may be able to use:
Since I've been pregnant I've been pretty lazy with the house work. I've read and heard about these nesting insticts and have been wondering when/if it would happen with me. Well I think it did. Last night around 10:30 I was getting ready to take a shower and noticed it was getting kind of dirty. So I decided I was going to clean it. After I cleaned the shower, I figured I might as well do the sink and toilet too. Then I figured I might as well do the entire bathroom. After I finished the bathroom and was putting the mop and broom away, I noticed the kitchen floor was a little dirty too. One thing led to another and I ended up cleaning the entire kitchen as well. Finally around 2:00am, my hunnie begged me to go to bed. I wanted to keep going, but I was pretty tired and had to work in the morning so I stopped and went to bed.

When I found out I was pg with my soon to be two year old daughter Chloe, I was so excited to tell my older children are now 22, 21, and 17. My son is the oldest and in the army. He came home on leave from Iraq and at the family get together I decided to tell him. When I told him I was pg he looked at me funny and said, "Aren't you too old for that?" The sad part was he wasn't kidding! I told him he was fired. Everyone else in the room nearly died laughing. My poor son was standing there trying to figure out what was so funny.