re: funny/shocking/frustrating pregnancy stories

These aren't really anything funny..Just the "annoying" things that you start to encounter when you become pregnant..

I am only 8w4d so I know I have a LOT of issues to come...but anyway..lol

If one more person tells me to eat a freckin cracker... I will go insane..lol..like I never thought of THAT..

Or when the same people ask me, "How are you feeling today?" I'm like you didn't care how I felt 9 weeks ago..but I know they are just being nice...

Those are just some of the annoyances that I know other people have experienced...but I know I will miss all of that stuff when I'm not pregnant so I should enjoy it...and I have like 7 months left..lol..

anyway..the rest of those stories are funny..lolpeace~

Well, everytime I get pregnant my boobs get huge. I was sitting down one day on the couch w/ a V-neck shirt. My three year old daughter comes up to me points at them and says "Mom, you have really nice boobies!" then she poked at one. She then proceeds to lift up her shirt to say "Mom, I don't have boobies like you!"



Here's a story. It's not funny, but a little shocking. The day before I gave birth to my son, I went in for an OB appt. Doc, checked my cervix and said I was completely shut and cervix wasn't doing anything. They tried to stip membranes (I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia) but couldn't, cause it was so thick. Next morning, I woke at 5:30am to go pee. As soon as I stepped out of bed, I started leaking. Wasn't sure if it was my water so I asked hubby to smell it, he graciously did. It was my water. Called doc and asked him what to do, because I wasn't contracting at all. He said come in anyway since I lived an hour away and I could go fast because it was my third kid. So dropped off the kids to a neighbors. As we started our drive, I started contracting (pain still not bad at all). Got to hosp. 45 min later. They admitted me was in the L&D room by 7:00am. Nurse checked me. I was only 3cm. She left to run and attend another lady who was giving birth in a chair in the triage room, because I took the last L&D room. While the ran to her. I told hubby I felt like I needed to go poop. Told him to help get the straps off my belly so I could go to the bathroom. I was not going to poop while delivering! As soon as I swung my legs to the side to get up I felt pressure and all of a sudden my son just kind of plops out of me. Hubby didn't know what to do, since we were alone. He didn't want to touch the baby because he hadn't washed his hand, but had to because my son would of fallen off the bed from all the goop. So he yelled for someone to come in. Someone finally did. Anyhow labor was not even an two hours, and I didn't feel most of my labor.

I deliver this one at the same hospital. If this one goes faster, I'll be having a minivan birth or home birth w/ no aid. So I'm reading up!

Here's a couple of my stories...both from my second pregnancy

I don't remember how far along I was, but I remember having been on the road for a while with my family. I was very hungry and very thirsty. We stopped to get a large drink and fries for me, but nobody else was ready to eat. As we left the parking lot we hit a bump and my drink hit the floor and of course the top came off and it was all over the floor. Without thinking, I got so upset that my drink was gone I threw my fries at it. So, they were all over the floor too. In a matter of seconds I went from being happy, to mad, to crying. My husband teases me about it still, but at least he waited until I was over the incident to start picking.  

The second story isn't as funny, but I figured I'd share it too. I had been upset with my husband over something stupid (I don't even remember what now). While I was taking a nap I dreamed that my husband and his friends were talking about it when I walked in the room. I guess I figured it would be a good time to bring out "the super soakers" because I lifted my shirt and proceeded to squirt all of them from range with breast milk. When I woke up I wasn't upset anymore. I told him about it and he thought it was funny. I jokingly threaten him with it sometimes still.  

After reading some of these stories I was in tears from laughing so hard!! I definitley think there should be a place to share funny pregnancy stories.  

lol at everyone...especially Moonwolf because that sounds like something i would have done  
here's my story:
i am 25w prego and my belly is about the size of a beach ball...therefore i cant see my feet and i struggle to put shoes and socks on..i had put on a blue tennis shoe and somewhere between puttting on both shoes i started a hormone fueled argument with my husband about eating my last snicker bar   anyways i went into my bedroom i guess forgetting that my other shoe was in the living room and put a red tennis shoe on my other foot (hey, they both matched what i was wearing)while still fussing at Mike...so i was leaving out to go shopping and the jerk is standing there snickering at me and wouldnt tell me why...just kissed me and told me to have fun shopping...WHAT AN A**HOLE...so i'm walking around the mall and people are smiling and waving and i'm just smiling and waving back not knowing that i had on mismatched shoes   so finally i go into a clothes store and another prego walks up to me and says "you too, huh?" and i'm looking at her like a deer in the headlights so she points to the mirror and there i was...big fat prego with one red shoe and one blue shoe...i was so embarrassed but i had to laugh...needless to say i attacked my husband when i got home and still all he could do was laugh    

LOL!!! That last one really cracked me up.. putting on shoes is a chore for me, too, but luckily it's so much of a problem I don't get up in between putting on shoes! Or else I'd be pulling the mismatch look, too! haha Great story!!

I have another story, myself.. although I like to blame it on pregnancy, I have blonde moments sometimes normally, so who knows.

My husband and I went to lunch at Outback with a friend of ours last weekend. I was looking at the menu, and the only thing that sounded good was this battered shrimp. But it said something about having tartar and spicy sauces with it, and for some reason I was thinking coleslaw, not sauce. I don't like coleslaw, so when the waiter came to take my order, I asked if I could substitute vegetable instead. He gave me this really weird look, and said he wasn't sure but he'd ask.
So, he comes back like 10 minutes later and apologizes and says that they cannot substitute, and walks away. I'm kind of upset about this, and I turn to my husband and start to complain, and then he's like, "Uhh, hun, it's a sauce. Why would they substitute a sauce for vegetables? It's to DIP the shrimp!"
So it dawns on me that I pretty much just asked if they could substitute vegetables for like... ketchup. So, both my husband and our friend just sit there laughing at me for so long. It made me so mad and embarassed! Ugh!  
Then when we get our food, the waiter ended up having them give me a side of vegetables anyways... lol.. he probably felt sorry for me or something.  
Needless to say, I was glad when we got our check and got out of there!!

-Raen

My pregnancy story is crazy and unbelievable to me. When I first found out I was pregnant I got really bad side pains and ended up going to the hospital and passed 4 kidney stones. Then when I was starting my second trimester I was out of town in Michigan (I live in Ohio) and when I was leaving my friends house I tripped over my flip flop and fell out of the sliding door. My leg hit a cement step and down I went. My foot was hanging to the right while my ankle to the left..had to be rushed in for emergency surgery, now I have a plate and 8 pins in my leg. I was in a wheel chair for almost my whole pregnancy and I just recently started walking again. My baby has been through so much and she is still in my belly. It's like when I got pregnant my good luck when straight to bad. Obviouslly have a miracle in my belly and she is definetly an angel.

I thought I had posted the other day with mine, but I think my son deleted it before I could submit it.

The other day, I was laying down with my three year old son and two year old daughter to get them to take a nap. They ALWAYS have to have a sippy cup to go to sleep and in trying to get them to quickly calm down, I told them the "baby" was already sleeping so they should too. My son looked over at me and said "But Mommy, the baby is thirsty and doesn't have a cuppie" and then put the sippy part of his cup in my, what he calls the "baby hole" my belly button. lol I thought it was so cute and totally unexpected.

My daughter hugs my belly all the time and says " I love you baby...come see me soon" She is so sweet, but doesn't even realize that there's really a baby.

lol
Everyone have a great day!

In my last pregnancy; I hired a TENS machine for my labour, n my hubby thought it would be amusing to crank up the voltage when i was not looking n give me a shock. I vowed i would seek revenge but i never did.

Well last month i invested in a TENS machine, as i was constantly suffering with back pain, n i picked up a bargain as not only does it specialise in back pain, but it can be used for labour, period pains n nausea, aswell as for other ailments.

Anyway after a hard day's slog at work, my hubby comes home n plugs himself into the TENS, as he is a delivery driver n suffers with back pain every now n then. After 20 mins or so, he unplugs himself from the mains, with the electrode pads still attached to his back, he legs it to the toilet. This new model is fab, as u can now configure the width n rate to make it fast or slow aswell as the usual, high n low settings, so there i am, fiddling with ALL the settings, cranking everything up to the highest level possible, then i await for his return.

As predicted, without even checking the settings are ok, my hubby just plugs himself back into the TENS, well, my husband's body qivered from head to toe, as though he had put his very own fingers into an electric socket, n to top it off, he had this really weird permanent smile on his face, he couldn't even scream properly cos of the shock, he just murmered n babbled like Homer Simpson! It was hilarious, u really had to be there. My back n stomach hurt so much from laughing so hard, i even wet myself abit too, but it was worth it, revenge really is sweet!!!!

Well This Isnt A Super Funny Story Like The Other Ones I've Read (*ooo And I Think It Would Be A Great Idea To Have A Little Section With Just Funny Pregnancy Storys.. Maybe Even Parenting Storys!*) But Anyways...

Well My Counters In The Kitchen Stick Out From The Wall Pretty Far And Im Not Very Tall So I Can Hardley Reach The Cabinets Above Them To Get Dishes And Normally I Would Have To Kinda Lean Over The Counters But Now That Im Almost 28weeks Pregnant... My Belly Is In The Way And I Cant Get Anything Out Of Our Cabinets!

Hmm.. I Wonder If This Happens To Other Pregnant Moms...?

Ladies I have been laughing through reading all your posts !! LOL i love this thread!

I have one that could be funny but...maybe not

I can't freakin' stand when people see a big belly and give you an excessive amount of food...for example...

I went into Denny's for coffee and desert with my husband one night. Our server talked about all of her pregnancies and stuff, finally i told her I was having Apple Crisp...THIS CHICK LOADED AN EXCESSIVELY LARGE BOWL OF APPLE CRISP and like 3 scoops of ice cream (assuming my stomache is large enought to handle this). I almost puked just looking at it. OMG. I never want apple crisp again. When i was finished, it looked like i havent touched it...my husband laughed the whole time. He got a small plate with pumpkin pie. I was so irritated! lmao.

It happened again today. We went to dairy queen (i usually get a cookie dough blizzard), this time i decided to have a peanut butter cookie dough blizzard! I mentioned to my husband how much I love peanut butter lately...well the lady at the counter over heard me..when she gives us our food, she said she put extra peanut butter flavor in it because she heard how much I like it...IT WAS SO DISGUSTING! I couldn't finish it. I never wanted that much damn peanut butter! EWWW...she was sweet though, I couldn't be rude  

When I was pregnant with my 3 little girl I was so big
that i couldnt see my feet lol and one day i was in the tub
I was trying my best to shave.wasnt going to well but got my legs
shaved then I went to shave well you know what haha and there was NO way
so I yelled for my hubby and my oldest little girl came in the room
ask me what you want mom so I told her to get her daddy i needed him
to come help me shave LOL she looked at me and said Mom ill do it for you my frist thought was OH NO you want haha I just thought it was funny the way she wanted to help  

I've noticed my husband has been getting more "philosophical" lately. We were talking about having a girl or a boy, and about passing on his name. Then, he asked me, "I wonder who's going to win and what the universal name is going to be when it does?". I thought that was a really cute thing to say. He also asked me the other day, "Do you think nerds dressed up as cavemen in midevil times?". He isn't usually this thoughtful. He was also complaining of a stomach ache the other night. He rarely gets sick and in the three years I've known him, never had a stomach ache. Of course, I was the one throwing up that night, but I thought it was neat that he was having sympathy pains.

So yeah, here's one for ya.

I came home from work all tuckered out, and I look into my crab aquarium. Now the entire time I have had this crab I haven't liked it. It's boring. It noever does anything but sit in its shell. So I am home from work, look up into the crab cage and burst into tears. My crab had apparently died. My husband was like, "Honey, what's wrong?" And all I could say was, "You let my crab die!!!" My hubby just laughed at me.

all these stories are so cute   thanks for sharing ladies!

here are a couple things that have been happening..

This is our first and from the moment my husband found out we're pregnant he's been saying "hunny I can't stand this waiting I want to see my baby now" it has me all smiles every time he says it.

He has been avoiding sex when I asked why he said "I've never invaded anyone's home before " I died laughing!