Closely spaced pregnancies....anyone else??

I had a little girl last December, and found out I was pregnant again 9 weeks later. My first pregnancy was a total nightmare. I had extreme hyper-emesis after 14 weeks that lasted thru delivery to 7 days post-partum, and then to top it off I got eclampsia also 7 days post-partum and had a seizure in the shower and almost died. I was absolutely horrified when I found out I was pregnant again, but luckily things have not gone the same this go around. I am 33 1/2 weeks along due Nov. 10th and am so sore all of the time I feel like I can barely walk. At about 27 weeks, I fell down the stairs while carrying my daugher which has not made the soreness factor any better. Luckily I took brunt of the fall and both babies were fine. I am so tired of being pregnant and cannot wait until I have this baby, but am also completely terrified about what's to come. It's going to be very difficult having two children under 1 year old, and I don't know how to make myself feel better about it. I have basically been pregnant for two years, and I worry that I won't be up to par with two kids. Anyone with any input would be appreciated or even if you just want to chat about issues.

Pheweee!

You have all of my sympathy... Do you have any family nearby that could come and help you after you've given birth? You're going to be totally exhausted-- although you can always pray to the powers that be you're going to have a baby that sleeps through the night. That's unlikely, but it happens sometimes. If that were the case, then theoretically, you won't have too much to do with the newborn (aside from pooping, feeding, and monitoring their well-being, compared to your "older" one who's so much more mobile.

Lordy, you've got a lot of work coming up!

Or what about bringing in a babysitter while you're still at home? If there aren't any family members around that could come and help, at least having someone there a few hours of the day so you can try to relax a bit, would help. You're going to need time to recoup one way or the other.

I think it's pretty important you get some support after the baby is born at least for a few months until you've figured out the rhythym of things. I can't imagine you're going to be able to do all of this alone.

Let me know what you think.

PS. My mom was the same way, she'd have a baby and be pregnant three months later (she had six of us... I'm the only one who had two miscarriages between me and my older brother, all of my brothers have a year to a year and half MAX between them). And then my dad left her with five kids and pregnant with my little brother. Nice eh?

We actually had to move from Montana down to California in June due to the close pregnancies and financial complications. We have been living with my in-laws, which is stressful in itself. My husband is going to try to only work weekends when the baby comes, and then his parents will be home on the weekends. But he is currently in a position of possible promotion and I am scared to have him take any time off period fearing that it could jeopardize his promotion.

My in-laws have been very kind letting us live with them, but I am having almost constant problems with some of their wanting to "interfere" with how I am raising my daughter. We have had constant head-butting situations since June. For example, my daughter just turned 9 mths old. I have been slowly introducing her to stage 3 baby foods, but she still isn't quite ready for chewing things yet. I met my husband for lunch the other day, and came home to find they had gone to the store and bought her all kinds of Gerber graduates baby food, and we giving it to her. She did seem to be okay, but I was very upset that I was not consulted. They gave her dehydrated strawberries, which she hasn't even had strawberries yet, and I didn't know what to say. I feel like if I say something, they don't understand why I feel the way I do and think I am overreacting.

The next night, I walked into the kitchen while she was choking on one of the dehydrated strawberries and they were just looking at her. I got a lump in my throat and was furious that they were just watching her! And then they were trying to give her more!!!! The package clearly says all over it that you are not supposed to give this product to a child under 12 mths and for toddlers only!! My husband won't say anything, and I feel like I have to tiptoe around everything. Living here makes things even more stressful!! My in-laws try to help, but just don't listen to my requests as a parent and that really bothers me. It's like taking your child to daycare and the daycare doing everything you ask them not to.

I am so overwhelmed by the situation I am in that I can't even sleep anymore. I go to bed exhausted and if I do fall asleep, I wake up still feeling completely exhausted. Right now I am feeling so dizzy all of the time I can barely stand up. I have had very minor contractions on and off the last couple of days and am worried I am going to go into premature labor. Urgh!!!!!!!

To make things worse, all of my family and friends are in Montana and I am home-sick. Fun, huh?!?

I feel your pain! I know mine are not that close together, but I will have four children w/ the oldest only being almost 3 and 1/2. I got pregnant after each delivery when my babies were each just 4 mos. old. It has taked a tremendous toll on my body. I don't think my body will ever be the same. Anyhow, I had problems w/ pre-eclampsia and high blood pressure w/ the last three, not w/ this one. I do have problems of horrible pains in by lower back, pelvic, and vaginal are from all the weight I'm carrying and nothing going back to normal before getting pregnant again. So I do know how you feel. You can get throught this. It's hard, but you can do it. Just try to get as much rest as you can. Your body espcially needs it cause you never really recooperated from your pregnancy before.

Not an easy situation, but at least you do have family around and you're not going to be completely abandoned. I was imagining you all alone in the house with a 9 month old and sciatic nerve pain and how that would evolve into you being completely exhausted w/ a newborn and a not quite one year old. That scenario is definitely a recipe for insanity... although so are the wonderous in-laws.

As per the in-laws, I really don't have much in the way of advice except to say, you're going to have to keep working with them on the"interfering" issues. Especially, if your husband isn't seeing any problems with the way they're handling your daughter etc. I think it's better to view it as a problem with an actual solution which you are still working on.

I've had lots of fun trying to work things out w/ my in-laws (fun as in, not fun, but you can't read the sarcasm in my voice). If you're confrontational on situations that matter to you (like feeding your daughter foods you don't think she's prepared to eat) w/out being aggressive or emotional, most normal people will start to pay attention. Hopefully, you've got semi-normal in-laws.

The headbutting stuff is inevitable when people live together. Right now you should probably focus most of your energy on staying healthy and getting LOTS of sleep. After you've given birth you can start to focus on being more involved with the issues they're bringing up, although if something does go down that you feel merits your energy and attention AND you've got enough energy to confront them on whatever it is, then it's probably best to deal with it on the spot rather than bundle it up as a little resentment mushroom that'll just grow b/c you're not dealing w/ it now.

Good luck to you... keep us posted on all this. And please make sure to put your feet up and take a nap whenever possible. Your body is really being put through the grinder right now.

Thanks for all of the advice. It really does give you a little hope and clarity when you can tell others about your situation that don't know you. It's easier because you can say exactly what you feel. I am trying to take it easy, but it's getting very hard. I keep getting dizzy and light-headed whenever I stand up, which makes it really fun when having to chase a 9 mth old around. Thanks for the support. I will keep you posted.

My grandmother did the same thing...Five kids all within a year of each other...literally...My mom and her older sister are both born in June and her younger sister and one of the boys are the same age for two days... I can't imagine how she did it because I know my grandfather didn't help with anything. I'm not sure when they divorced, but he was not a very good father...Not too great of a grandfather either but at least I've never had to live with him. heh. Anyway, I know it's got to be incredibly hard. I think anyone who's capable of having two children (or more) so close together is an amazing person. Good luck. I hope you can work it out with your in-laws...at some point they really have to understand that this is YOUR child and you make the rules where she's concerned...Good luck!