How do you handle...

The In-Laws!!!! Mine are so dependent on my husband that he had to drive 30 minutes today to CUT THE GRASS!!!! Now, his mom is disabled... that I understand, but there is nothing in the world wrong with his dad. They just want him at their house every weekend and during the week if they can possibly get him to drive up there during the week! Now... I didn't feel like going, so I stayed home. I know his mom is going to call me about 5 times and ask me why I'm not up there with him, and that it's not fair that she hasn't seen my belly this week (we were up there yesterday... and yes.... she will say this). We are due Sept. 2, but I stop my medicine tonight that has kept me from going into premature labor (she tried to come out 11 weeks early... been on meds since then). I've been having contractions all weekend but they aren't "regular". But to please his parents... he's 30 minutes away from me on what could possibly be the last weekend that it's just us! How do you deal????

I like my FIL, but my MIL is another story. They are divorced. When I went to GA with my hubby, I refused to meet his mother. Thankfully we live 8 hours away from them, or we would be at war. My hubby would either pick me or the inlaws. That'd be the bottom line.

I convinced my husband to move about an hour away from his parents. And since gas is high and were just 'starting out' they aren't as bad as they were before. Although they still try to get us to come in every few weeks.

They used to do the whole cutting grass and other odd physical labor jobs too. His mom would volunteer him for anything that anyone needed done w/o asking him or me. So then he couldn't say no after his mom already told people he would do something for them. It sucked.

I wish I had in-laws. My husband's mother died when my oldest was 6. He never knew his father, so my kids have no grandparents on his side. She never even got to meet my second girl or now this girl I'm expecting. I wish she was around so at least my kids would have someone else in their support group that loves them.

why'd you stop your meds?

And, you better hash this out w/ your hubby before the baby...otherwise you'll be along A LOT w/ a newborn.

Quoting JenniferLynn89:“ I convinced my husband to move about an hour away from his parents. And since gas is high and were just ... [snip!] ... w/o asking him or me. So then he couldn't say no after his mom already told people he would do something for them. It sucked.”

Is it possible that we have the same in-laws???? That sounds just like them! In October, I convinced him to move 30 min. away. We didn't wanna move too far becuase My mom was fighting cancer (thank God she is now in remission), and my sister and nephew are all in the same town with his parents. But no one in my family likes them....

Quoting CatLuvr83:“ why'd you stop your meds? And, you better hash this out w/ your hubby before the baby...otherwise you'll be along A LOT w/ a newborn.”

My doctor told me to stop the meds at 36 weeks because we were given the two steriod shots for her lung development.

Quoting Isabellsmommy2b:“ Is it possible that we have the same in-laws???? That sounds just like them! In October, I convinced ... [snip!] ... now in remission), and my sister and nephew are all in the same town with his parents. But no one in my family likes them....”

If your husband is like mine..he wont see it either. My husband feels like obligated to his parents and to do every little thing for them. I wish I could offer more help but the only thing that helped my in laws to back off was for us to move.

It is pretty simple - tell your husband his parents raised him and had their family, its time for him to move on and begin his support and life with his own family.
Make him limit visits with his parents - he needs to speak with them - he has the problem hes the one that agrees to go .

Tell him to grow up and start being a part of HIS family - its time for the apron strings to be cut.

Girl I have my family around, and I can tell you I have had it with them expecting us to do everything. There is no reason for it. We moved up around my boyfirends parents but here in a few weeks we are moving back down closer to my family. But, I just don't answer my phone much. I'm on bedrest and they expect me or Kris to come and do things for them. I don't know why either. We are staying with his parents since I'm on bedrest for at least the next 3 weeks. I am going crazy. I have a hard time. But, it is all worth it.

It is very important for you and your husband to spend what time together you can before your baby isborn. It might be alittle crazy at first at home with a new baby. No matter if it'syour first baby oryour 4th. Good Luck.....

Quoting NonsenseMom:“ It is pretty simple - tell your husband his parents raised him and had their family, its time for him ... [snip!] ... one that agrees to go . Tell him to grow up and start being a part of HIS family - its time for the apron strings to be cut.”

ding ding ding...so true!!!!

If you don't hash this out with your husband, it can really end up hurting your relationship. Being his wife, YOUR needs and FEELINGS need to come FIRST. You may want to explain it to him in that way. It is so crucial for your relationship to be able to communicate this. You can do your part to seperate the too close ties by not always answering the phone when you MIL calls, and not feel guilty.
YOU are doing nothing wrong, she is interfereing with you happiness and its your husbands main job and should be his main priority to ensure his family isn't imposing on your new family. Its not easy, but it won't get better unless you firmly let him know what a problem this is, and get him to respond in a responsible manner and put yhou first!
Hang in there, so many women have dealt with this prob.... I just dealt with this recently too (MIL is going nuts over the baby and pesters us to death, luckily we live 12 hours away, but even with distance if your husband doesn't put his foot down she will continue to be a pest) Good luck!

I agree with pilot Jess. You need to make sure you and your DH are on the same side of this one. We have big problems with my husband's parents, but fortunately, we both agree that they're annoying, we agree on how to handle it, etc. etc. If he won't talk to them about it, maybe you need to do it (or email or write it in a letter) and try to be nice, because I'm sure you don't totally want them OUT of your life...and let the chips fall where they may. Your family, your baby, is the priority here, not them. They need to REMEMBER that!!!! (You'd think by the time they're 50-60 years old, they'd have this figured out?????)

Try that from Angela Five.....