Birth Certificate Question

Ok ladies- I posted this about a week ago in another forum and got a few good responses but not exactly what I was looking for. Hoping since this is a more visited forum that I might get a few more and maybe the answer I am looking for.

My son is 6 1/2, will turn 7 in December. He has my last name, as his father and I were not together when he was born. Now with the new baby coming sometime this week I would like to push ahead and get things rolling for him to have my husband's last name. I am having a really hard time finding any information for NYS about putting the father on the Birth Certificate. Since his biological father has NEVER been a part of his life, has never met him or seen him or cared to call etc.. do I need to track him down to have him sign over his rights to my husband? Or can I just claim abandonment? I woudl rather not have to go to court, as it is none of their business who my son's father is and I want no record of it anywhere, because as far as my son knows my husband is and has always been his dad. Can I just file a birth certificate amendment to have my husband put on the birth certificate or no since I want to change my son's last name? There is no father listed on my son's birth certificate. If I am able to just have my husband "added" onto the birth certificate, will they require a paternity test? I'm so confused about this. Thanks ladies for any advice you can give me. I've been researching half-assed for the last year or so and know that NYS abandonment law is something like 6 years but know nothing else. I just want us to all have the same last name, as my son will start asking questions soon I'm sure when he realizes the new baby and him have different names.

I know in IL if there is no legal father on the birth certificate and the father has never had any rights, doesn't know about the child, ect, then no. But he still needs to adopt your son. I only know this cause I did it. And they asked me if I wanted to have his last name. Since my real father was NEVER in the picture, it didn't matter.

i didn't read the whole thing but what i'm getting is that u want ur husbands name on ur older son's BC. from what i know about MO u have to get permission from the biological father if thats the name on the BC. and he has to give up his rights. thats the only way u can do it here. i researched it years ago and just gave up on it cause i knew he would never agree to that.

Quoting Makayla and Jaxon's Mom:“ i didn't read the whole thing but what i'm getting is that u want ur husbands name on ur older son's ... [snip!] ... the only way u can do it here. i researched it years ago and just gave up on it cause i knew he would never agree to that.”

If you prove him unfit by taking him to court they can forcefully remove his rights, heh.

i went through this and still am in the process if it.. its a court matter..
cause basically your husband will be adopting him..
you will have to locate the father,
situation with me is i want my son to have my last name he will be 7 in october and his father never been around so i feel like he shouldnt carry the last name.. so i want him to have my last name.. but i had to go to court and since i dnt know where he is i keep having to fight it i been going through this for 5 yrs.. and they just dont get that i cant find him..
i went to court and put in an order of sole custody which was granted then i asked to have his last name changed and the judge understand where i am coming from but she still has to follow rules.. so we just been locating him.. and cant find him

Quoting [FGG]rileymarie[MAEK]:“ If you prove him unfit by taking him to court they can forcefully remove his rights, heh.”

thats true, but he wasn't unfit just not there.

Quoting Makayla and Jaxon's Mom:“ i didn't read the whole thing but what i'm getting is that u want ur husbands name on ur older son's ... [snip!] ... the only way u can do it here. i researched it years ago and just gave up on it cause i knew he would never agree to that.”

The one thing I have on my side is the NYS state child abandonment law. It states that after x number of years(I think its somewhere between 4-6 years) of no contact or support the biological father has no rights to the child. But that's the only thing I know. I think my only option is to have my husband legally adopt my son. But I know that would involve the courts and social workers. I think thats bull-honkey, I have someone who is willing to step up and take responsibility for my son, someone who actually wants him and loves him and considers him his own, and they want to stick their noses in my business. I've got nothing to hide, my home is not an abusive home, they should be nosing around in other peoples business. I wish there was just a paper I could file, someone I could meet with and have it done with. ARGH

Quoting Makayla and Jaxon's Mom:“ thats true, but he wasn't unfit just not there.”

That sucks. Too bad there's nothing you can do about that huh? You'd think the fact that they weren't arond for their kid they'd be unfit, but nope not the case.

Like the first response said, you'll probably have to do adoption paperwork and file them with the state, but since there is no father listed on the birth certificate I don't anticipate there would be a need for a paternity test unless for some reason the biological dad comes back into the picture and wants to assert his parental rights.  But if he hasn't so far, I doubt he would.  And besides, it's been longer than the abandonment laws would allow, soo...he would have missed out.  

Quoting [FGG]rileymarie[MAEK]:“ That sucks. Too bad there's nothing you can do about that huh? You'd think the fact that they weren't arond for their kid they'd be unfit, but nope not the case.”

yeah tell me about it.

Quoting MotherMama:“ The one thing I have on my side is the NYS state child abandonment law. It states that after x number ... [snip!] ... in other peoples business. I wish there was just a paper I could file, someone I could meet with and have it done with. ARGH”

Maybe if you claim that you don't know who the father is it might change things?

Quoting LESBIAN & PREGNANT =):“ i went through this and still am in the process if it.. its a court matter.. cause basically your husband ... [snip!] ... judge understand where i am coming from but she still has to follow rules.. so we just been locating him.. and cant find him”

But your son's father is on the BC? See mine is not. And that's also bull-honkey. He's YOUR kid, he should have whatever name YOU want him to have. I hate the system in NY, making things un-necessarily hard for stupid reasons.

Quoting [FGG]rileymarie[MAEK]:“ I know in IL if there is no legal father on the birth certificate and the father has never had any rights, ... [snip!] ... I did it. And they asked me if I wanted to have his last name. Since my real father was NEVER in the picture, it didn't matter.”

I was in the same sitution. My bio father was never in the picture nor was he on the birth cert. I had my mothers last name and no connection.
We had to go to court to get everything changed. I had to be adopted. Tnrh sent a letter to my bio father (even though i have never met him) Saying this was going to happen.. and he had a choice to fight it or let it be and give up his rights. It was a long drawn out process. It took almost a year to get everything going and finalized.

In Arizona if a baby is born out of wedlock then the father has no rights to the baby unless the mother gives him rights. Your husband just has to adopt him and you dont need permission from the father.

I Do have a question of my own though about the birth certificate. My son is due any day and I know I am going to give him my last name because Im not positive who the father is. Its either my ex fiance who wants to be in his life or my new boyfriend who wants to adopt him if hes not the biological. I want the biological father to be on the birth certificate but Im not sure how to do that after I have the paternity test taken. It will take several weeks to get the results back and Im afraid I wont be able to go back and put the fathers name on the birth certificate. Also can I get my son a Social Securtiy Number if I know I am going to go back in and change the birth certificate?

Quoting tereese:“ I was in the same sitution. My bio father was never in the picture nor was he on the birth cert. I ... [snip!] ... let it be and give up his rights. It was a long drawn out process. It took almost a year to get everything going and finalized.”

Yeah, I think they did that too. I had my moms last name also. But since my bio dad didn't even know about me he didn't care, and he didn't want to go through all the shit to worry about it. I was 10 when my step dad adopted me, so i guess my bio dad was like, after 10 years it doesn't really matter anyway. Thank god, caus eit would have been weird for a man I never knew fighting over me, heh.