3 year old dosent like my boyfriend...... help.

My daughter is almost three, she is great at communicating and telling me what she wants/needs/feels, but with my boyfriend (not her father) she is having difficulties, expecially stressfull since Im pregnant with his baby. .... My baby will always come before my boyfriend, but it is important to me that she respects and LIKES him, ya know? I dont know how to get her to stop being mean to him, she just acts like she dosent like him. He has tried to bond with her and play with her, and actually has put ALOT of effort into it, and we have tried punishing her for her behavior, and even had him ignore her bad behavior, I just dont know what ot do anymore, its so stressful... Its putting a huge strain on our relationship, because I am always defending her or breaking up the fighting!! Sometimes he acts like a child and actually agrues back and forth with her and I just wanna slap him! I understand he is frustrated, but she is just a baby still and Its not like hes crappy to her, I think hes trying to get on her level (which is impossible-- shes only (almost) three) ... Ugh... so frustrated... anyone in similar situations please help!!!

Quoting MissMommy02:“ My daughter is almost three, she is great at communicating and telling me what she wants/needs/feels, ... [snip!] ... level (which is impossible-- shes only (almost) three) ... Ugh... so frustrated... anyone in similar situations please help!!!”

Hmmm.. Maybe she's just having a hard time adjusting. How long have you guys been together? Does she have a relationship with her real father?

Sounds to me like she is jelous of the new baby! My sister child did the same thing. And her daughter who was 4 was always like I dont have to listen to u cuz ur not my daddy!! But now that the new baby is here she loves having a part of it. Still acts up sometimes but eventually it gets better.. Good luck

she could have a crush on him lol you know how they act mean but secretly have a crush

Quoting M♥mmy:“ Hmmm.. Maybe she's just having a hard time adjusting. How long have you guys been together? Does she have a relationship with her real father?”

hes been coming around her since november of last year, we have been on/off a little bit of the time, but moved in together and it got REALLY bad. She is VERY sensitive to change and Im extrememly worried as to how this new baby is going to affect her... Her relationship with her biological father (sperm donor) is sadly non existant. She asked me two nites ago why her daddy didnt like her & it just about broke my heart... He comes & goes when he pleases, and does see her occasionally, like hell wanna see her for two weeks every other day and then disappear for a month, two months at a time. He will go thru little phases of wanting to be a father, but dosent understand that that isnt how it works... Its frustrating... what do I do? I cant tell him he CANT see her, thats depriving HER, but when he dosent stay consisitant it HURTS her, so I dont know what is the "right" thing to do... At least Jason (my bf) is trying to have a relationship with her, he is there ALOT more than her real father, and even buys her toys and plays with her at the park, even plays Barbies, lol.

Quoting mama elite:“ she could have a crush on him lol you know how they act mean but secretly have a crush”

LOL i dont know about that, I thought maybe she was jelous of his relationship with me... She is THE BIGGEST mamas girl in the WORLD... her world comes to an end if I leave the room. She has been my angel, princess, pride & joy since she was born, and I totally shower her with attention & love, so this is kind of a change for her not to be the ONLY one in my life... I havent had a relationship with anyone since i ended it with her dad. (noone that I brought her around, anyways) and so i never had this problem before.

Quoting MissMommy02:“ hes been coming around her since november of last year, we have been on/off a little bit of the time, ... [snip!] ... he is there ALOT more than her real father, and even buys her toys and plays with her at the park, even plays Barbies, lol.”

She is 3 so she is not a "baby" anymore and is capable of understanding. Sit her down and actually talk to her together. Ask her questions and let her ask you questions. Try to explain that you both love her very much and and her being mean and misbehaving hurts him which hurts you. You would be surprised how much a 3 yr old understands.

Also, tell her father that he either comes around on a regular basis or not at all. You would not be depriving her of anything other then hurt because he is not acting like a father or treating her like she is truely loved. She wouldnt think he "hated" her if he really was. She is loved in your home and well cared for so she doesnt NEED him to have a full life.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Also, tell her father that he either comes around on a regular basis or not at all. You would not be ... [snip!] ... think he "hated" her if he really was. She is loved in your home and well cared for so she doesnt NEED him to have a full life.”

I understand what you said about sitting her down and talking to her, my daughter is very very smart, I dont underestimate her ability to understand us, its just that I see this behavior as a way of expressing feelings that she dosent know how else to express... I have had many talks with her about "right" and "wrong" and why it is wrong to pull hair, yet she still does it and gets punished for it, so she sees that when she does something wrong there is a negitive reaction...thats just kids... But the problem is, we are hitting some kind of wall... She dosent know how to express how she is feeling towards him, and I dont know how to deal with her behavior in a way that will help her feel like her feelings are valid without punishing her for having them, ya know?

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Also, tell her father that he either comes around on a regular basis or not at all. You would not be ... [snip!] ... think he "hated" her if he really was. She is loved in your home and well cared for so she doesnt NEED him to have a full life.”

O yeah, about that, I was with him for 2 1/2 years, I know he cares for her and loves her, he is just really really inconsistant, and I think having him there some of the time and letting her know him is better than shutting him out. I dont feel like its my right to cut him off, when she is older she can decide if she dosent want him to be a part of her life, but I dont want her to be angry with me for pushing him away. He isnt a bad person, he just dosent understand that being a parent is a full time job, and although it is my job to protect her, I dont think I should take such a huge part of her identity from her. time will tell... either he will get with the program or he wont.

I think its the age and she will grow out of it. Good luck!

you should take the father to court not for child support reasons but so he has a stable visitation system, ]

maybe your baby is taking it out on your BF like she holds a grudge against her father so she takes it out on other men

i've been in fairly simalar situations with kris, his father and i split when he was just 3 1/2 he understood what was going on, and when i remarried later that year, he freaked out big time, he wouldn't behave nor listen to his step father. and it was the same with one other bf i had a couple years later. this time, he's a bit older, he'll be 7 in a few days, and he is handling my new bf being around, and is even stoked about the new baby! he can't wait to be a big brother. oh and his father is the same way, the last time we heard from him or saw him was back in feb. he disappeared until mothers day when he called to see when school let out, then we didn't hear from him again until the middle of june, when he decided to finally take him for his two weeks, which ended up being one night, and i haven't heard from him since, it's really sad, b/che lives in the same town as us!

I think most people who split from the kids biological fathers who then go on to have a new relationships, experience this kind of problem, some are worse some are easier to accepting new "father figures". My eldest boy (who is 7 now) was very jealous of my fiance when he first met him when he was 2 and a half, and would not want to play with him, or sit with him he wouldn't let my fiance help him with anything etc...but over time he did adjust and he over came all that, as my fiance just kept trying with him, then in time my son realised that my fiance wasn't going anywhere that he was here to stay, and they get along so lovely now (5 yrs on) my son doesn't see his biological Dad as i took him to court for abuse towards meetc, and he gave up the battle over custody of our son and we haven't heard from him since (ass hole) and my son has called my fiance "Dad" for a few years now. Your daughter will be fine, they do get sensitive at young ages to big changes esp a new baby, but it is expected, sit her down and let her ask you anything, and if it is jealousy of the new baby, try to involve her with buying/choosing new things for baby, help her make a card or something for baby, y'know really get her intrested and she will feel more involved.