re: santa or not

well my son believes superman and spiderman are real...and I would never tell him they arent...he will figure these things out with age. Like the santa thing...I dont ever overdo the santa thing....i try not to make a big deal out of it. I see no harm in "letting" a child believe in these things...its part of the magic and wonder of being a kid. I loved believing in these things as a child..and I dint feel betrayed when I found out.

Quoting *Andi*:“ I know I'm late posting my reply to this.. but this is how I feel about it... Santa and the Easter Bunny ... [snip!] ... are you going to want your kids to go to school and ruin it for all the other kids and just blurt out to them santa isn't real”

So I should lie to my children just because some other child's feelings are going to get hurt? In my belief systems, Santa is an elaborate lie. I will NOT subject my child to me being untruthful to him. I will also NOT compensate for other children's hurt feelings. It's the risk you run when lying to your children that they are going to find out the truth. The other parents and other children can just deal.

BUT that's not to say when my son goes to school that I'm going to make it OK for him to be cruel to other children because thier parents have instilled different beliefs. What I DO plan on teaching him is that other people believe different things, and that does not make it wrong, just different.

Quoting Tara Maureen:“ So I should lie to my children just because some other child's feelings are going to get hurt? In my ... [snip!] ... What I DO plan on teaching him is that other people believe different things, and that does not make it wrong, just different.”

I respect your belief and almost took that rout...but my mom and other ppl kept the santa thing going so I just let it be. Also just becasue your kids will know the truth doesnt mean they will tell either. If you explain to them that other kids belive and its not nice to tell them not to, then I am sure they wont tell.

Quoting Katie S:“ But leaving things to be discovered alone by your children is a crap shoot. Mom and Dad guided our imaginations. ... [snip!] ... I'm not saying it's bad to let your kid figure things out for themselves. I'm just saying that i've seen where it can go bad.”

same here..my fiance grew up 'knowing the truth' and I grew up believing and he doesnt get as excited as I do on holidays....lol I am like a kid all over again, especially on halloween 

Quoting McLeary:“ I respect your belief and almost took that rout...but my mom and other ppl kept the santa thing going ... [snip!] ... tell either. If you explain to them that other kids belive and its not nice to tell them not to, then I am sure they wont tell.”

Yeah... that's kinda my whole point. I get beyond annoyed when people say "your child is going to ruin it for my child". I think it's a parent's responsibility to tell their children that other children have different beliefs than they do and to respect them. It's not just the non mainstreamed believers who have a responsibilty, it's all parents.

Quoting Tara Maureen:“ Yeah... that's kinda my whole point. I get beyond annoyed when people say "your child is going to ruin ... [snip!] ... than they do and to respect them. It's not just the non mainstreamed believers who have a responsibilty, it's all parents.”

right and theres all different religions...do they ruin it?...no....

I don't see what the big deal is...but to each there own I guess.

I never felt like I was being lied to when I found out Santa wasn't real. When I was about 8 I finally figured it out so my parents told me the story of St. Nicholas, and that even though there really isn't a santa clause today there was one way back when. Heh I remember always prefering the real story of St. Nick over 'Santa"

So yes I will tell my kids about Santa and when they get a little older, as they start to question it I'll tell them the good old St. Nick story.

Yes to the toothfairy, yes to easter bunny...and yes to the great PUMPKIN! hehe =)

Quoting McLeary:“ well my son believes superman and spiderman are real...and I would never tell him they arent...he will ... [snip!] ... the magic and wonder of being a kid. I loved believing in these things as a child..and I dint feel betrayed when I found out.”

You raise an excellent point with the super heroes. You don't have to tell a kid "you believe in this," they do it on their own! Santa is a little different, because parents tell their kids "Santa is bringing such and so, you'd better behave" but it's easy for kids to personify icons anyway. My father never told me the Ninja Turtles weren't real, nor did he tell me Santa isn't, but it made more sense to use Santa to his advantage. I guess that's another reason I never felt it was a huge malicious scam.
And to Tara: I completely respect your choice to be honest with your son, I don't think for a second that he's going to "ruin it" for other kids. As parents we're all going to have to explain a LOT to our chilren, whether it's "who is Santa? Why does that girl wear a head scarf? Why do some people go to church? Where do babies come from? Why can't I have a cell phone? What's wrong with abortion?" and on and on and on! If we can't explain "the truth behind Christmas" to a child, we're going to have a lot of problems explaining anything else down the road! My daughter and future children will be given a gift or two from Santa, but by no means is she to go to school and tell a Jewish/Muslim/Buddhist/etc. kid that they are wrong for their beliefs.

Quoting Bisonbird:“ Ok, so my husband and I were discussing Santa Clause. (or the Easter Bunny for that matter). He said ... [snip!] ... ok for mommy and daddy to lie to their children about these characters. What are your thoughts? What do you tell your children?”

I think its not so much lying, as it is pretending with them. Its teaching them imagination, and in a way faith. Its believing in something or someone they can't see.

On a side note... my SO had the same worries. So, we compromised. Santa brings the stocking full of stuff. All other presents are from us. Besides... we work our ASS off to be able to provide those presents, no way is Santa getting all the glory, lol.

Quoting Tara Maureen:“ So I should lie to my children just because some other child's feelings are going to get hurt? In my ... [snip!] ... What I DO plan on teaching him is that other people believe different things, and that does not make it wrong, just different.”

I wasn't meaning to criticize your belief system.. all I meant is I see no harm in lettinga child believe this... it's not lying ...it's keeping with the spirit of Christmas. I'm sorry I offended you but I wasn't even responding to you! That's fine if you are going to teach your children that everyone has different beliefs and I think you should, but I believe in letting them enjoy the spirit of Santa.. it's how I was raised and it's how I will raise my children

Quoting *Andi*:“ I wasn't meaning to criticize your belief system.. all I meant is I see no harm in lettinga child believe ... [snip!] ... should, but I believe in letting them enjoy the spirit of Santa.. it's how I was raised and it's how I will raise my children”

I understand where you would believe that. I just have a really hard time comprehending why you, as a mother, would tell another mother (even in the "you" sense) that her child is going to "ruin" it for yours because they don't believe in Santa. And as I said before, in out beliefs it's lying, and actually taking away from the true meaning and spirit of Christmas in our faith.

Quoting Bisonbird:“ Ok, so my husband and I were discussing Santa Clause. (or the Easter Bunny for that matter). He said ... [snip!] ... ok for mommy and daddy to lie to their children about these characters. What are your thoughts? What do you tell your children?”

I'll tell my daughter. It'sa one of the things that has always made Christmas fun. And when I found out there wasn't a Santa as a child, I wasn't that depressed. It gets to a point where reason and logic just kick in.

Quoting thumbelina's mommy:“ You raise an excellent point with the super heroes. You don't have to tell a kid "you believe in this," ... [snip!] ... Santa, but by no means is she to go to school and tell a Jewish/Muslim/Buddhist/etc. kid that they are wrong for their beliefs.”

thanks;)

I don't actaully talk about santa, or push the issue...its more like he tells me about santa. Thats mostly family members like my mom, and kids at school. I also never tell him to behave or santa wont come. Actually I never corrilate the 2 things....being good with christmas because I think its kinda stupid...I mean if he is bad he still gets presents...so. I stick with the same routine as I do when its not a holiday and he is bad..no tv time...that works great. And I don't have him think for a minute all the presents he gets is froma stranger. I put one "special" present under the tree from santa and his stocking gets filled...the other gifts are from me and daddy. But thats just how I do it. One reason is when I was 6 my mom didnt have alot of money and she managed to get me a bunch of toys "from santa' and on christmas morning i asker her why she didnt get me a present...and she cried. I dont want my son putting much value in somone who doeasnt excist...but at the same time I let him have his fun with it. But I never once said to him santa was real...I let him believe.