Birth Certificate question

Ok hope this is in the right place. My son is 6 1/2, will turn 7 in December. He has my last name, as his father and I were not together when he was born. Now with the new baby coming sometime this week I would like to push ahead and get things rolling for him to have my husband's last name. I am having a really hard time finding any information for NYS about putting the father on the Birth Certificate. Since his biological father has NEVER been a part of his life, has never met him or seen him or cared to call etc.. do I need to track him down to have him sign over his rights to my husband? Or can I just claim abandonment? I woudl rather not have to go to court, as it is none of their business who my son's father is and I want no record of it anywhere, because as far as my son knows my husband is and has always been his dad. Can I just file a birth certificate amendment to have my husband put on the birth certificate or no since I want to change my son's last name? I'm so confused about this. Thanks ladies for any advice you can give me. I've been researching half-assed for the last year or so and know that NYS abandonment law is something like 6 years but know nothing else. I just want us to all have the same last name, as my son will start asking questions soon I'm sure when he realizes the new baby and him have different names.

i dont think you could change the father on the birth certificate, since its supposed to be his real father on it.. but you can go through adoption and let your husband adopt your son as his own, and you could anytime change the last name of your son, since his father isnt in the picture, he wont be able to stop you from changing it... since it is your son you can change his name... but you might have to go through court to do it..

sorry im not much help...

Quoting Moose:“ i dont think you could change the father on the birth certificate, since its supposed to be his real ... [snip!] ... since it is your son you can change his name... but you might have to go through court to do it.. sorry im not much help...”

I'm sorry it's not clear in my post- he has no father listed on the birth certificate.

well my situation was different because my real father died, but my real dads grandparents make a huge deal about it and fought for me. but my step dad adopted me when my brother was born when i was in 3rd grade so that i could be a part of the family, last name and all, and i wasnt left out. kind of how you want your son to feel. is his real father on the b.c. now? if not then i think you can just prolly say you dont know his real father, or say you were raped or something so you dont know who it was or where they are. and then maybe they will let your hubby adopt your son? i dont really know much about it. but all we had to do for my step dad to adopt me was see a counselor to make sure i wanted to be adopted and that we were good people, and go to court and we just did a "Ceremony" type thing where he asked is that was what we really wanted and if i wanted it and yadda yadda. but my grandparents put a big dent in the plan because they fought us and said they were trying to keep me from them, so we had to do more steps, like my parents had to have extensive psychological assessments done by a phychiatrist of their choice and one my grandparents chose. and at the court finalization, my grandparents came and made a scene, and they had to escort me out of the courtroom because my grandpa was threateneing everyone, including the judge.

Quoting lolajessup:“ well my situation was different because my real father died, but my real dads grandparents make a huge ... [snip!] ... made a scene, and they had to escort me out of the courtroom because my grandpa was threateneing everyone, including the judge.”

wow. no his real father is not on the birth certificate. I'm sorry that wasn't clear in the post. I don't think my son would understand if someone came and asked him if he wanted his dad to be his dad. He would probably look at them like they had 3 heads. haha. Hmm. Hoping I can find the answer soon. Like I can't even figure out how to word the question to type it into any sort of legal dateabase or anything.

You will more than likely have to go through the adoption process. That's how I did with my son. Not sure what the abandonment laws are there in NY, but here in GA we had to run an ad in the paper for 90 to give the bio dad (who had been out of the picture for 10 years) a chance to speak up. Which he never did, by the way, so it all went smooth.

Just call up an attorney who specializes in adoption and ask. Or call the county courthouse.

You could probably do a legal name change without doing an adoption if that's what you want to do, but it costs almost as much as the adoption. Might as well make your husband your son's legal dad since that's the only dad he's ever known. If you just do the name change, it will not give your husband any legal parental rights over your son though.

Hope this helps, and good luck.  


** Oops, just saw that the bio dad is not on the BC. Should be a bit easier then.

Quoting MotherMama:“ wow. no his real father is not on the birth certificate. I'm sorry that wasn't clear in the post. I ... [snip!] ... the answer soon. Like I can't even figure out how to word the question to type it into any sort of legal dateabase or anything.”

I'm not sure how the laws are where you live, but here you could just have him sign an affidavit of paternity and his name could be added to the birth certificate. But you would still have to do a legal name change in court, but its pretty easy and not nearly as expensive as adoption.

Quoting MotherMama:“ wow. no his real father is not on the birth certificate. I'm sorry that wasn't clear in the post. I ... [snip!] ... the answer soon. Like I can't even figure out how to word the question to type it into any sort of legal dateabase or anything.”

well maybe just go se if you can put your hubby on the b.c.? if he signs the forms saying he is the father they wont do a dna test.theres no dna proof sam is my babys dad, he just signed a form sayign he was the dad and took responsibility as so. so as much as they know i could have screwed around and hes not the dad (i didnt), but ya never know. maybe you could just sayyou forgot to put him on there. like say you werent together or something for awhile, and then decided to work it out after the baby was born, and you just never remembered to pt him on there.

but they might be distcreet about the "adoption" if you told the social worker thathe doesnt know thats not his dad, ya know? they miht just ask him if he likes his dad and stuff and if he likes his family, his house? i dont know. theyre not gonna say "he's not your dad". theyre professionals, i'm sure they know better. i knew my step dad wasnt my real dad, so they prolly asked me different Q's.

I didnt read all the replies, so I am sorry if I am repeating. First off, keep in mind that I am in Missouri, so laws in your state may be different. Anyway, my husband was adopted by his moms now ex- husband. He has NEVER met his father. All he knows is his name. When his mom's ex-husband adopted him, he was 12 or 13 years old. A letter was sent to his biological father giving him the chance to contest the adoption, and the name change on the birth certificate. His dad had so many days to respond. They got no response, so his mom was able to change the father on the birth cert, and change my husband's last name. I would think the law would be similar in other states, but I am not sure. Your best bet would be to talk to a lawyer.

Also, I am not sure if his fathers name was even on the birth certificate. But I wthink you do have to notify the biological father even if he isnt on the birth certificate. If he were to ever come after you for custody, you could get in trouble for not allowing him the opportunity to fight for his rights over the child.

Quoting red_dragon_girl_69:“ I didnt read all the replies, so I am sorry if I am repeating. First off, keep in mind that I am in Missouri, ... [snip!] ... after you for custody, you could get in trouble for not allowing him the opportunity to fight for his rights over the child.”

The thing is, in NY at least, there is something called abandonment law. He has NEVER once met his son, not even when he was born. So a judge would laugh at him if he ever tried anything. It's been almost 7 years. I think abandonment law in NY is 4 years but I can't remember.