Frustrated!

so my boyfriend and I have been together since April of 2004. I was in college he was at home working. About a year before graduation, December of 2006, we had some problems and separated for a while. It took about 10 months to work through everything and get him back on track. He went throug a lot of financial problems.Well, we got back together offically (it was unoffical from about June 2007-September 2007) September 7th. He asked me back out. Well, its almost been a year since then almost 4 1/2 offically (he considers we never broke up so he still counts our original date as the offical one). We are hoping to get an apartment of our own in about 3 months. My birthday is coming up in September. Money is tight right now because of bills.

Do you think its too much to ask for a PROMISE RING for my birthday? I mean I don't want to push it, I want him to pick it out and give it to me as mcuh of a surprise as I can. I mean, its been 4 years and the only jewelry I've gotten is my favorite necklace for our FIRST Christmas together. I am not even pushing Engagement rings at this point because of our financial situations.

I mean I am excited to get our apartment and finally living on our own. My boyfriend and I plan on having children and getting married in the future. I guess I feel like our relationship is at a standstill and I am ready for the next step. I know money is a slight problem but I am not asking for a 200-300 dollar ring. I would be happy with a 20 ring as long as it was nice and fit me and was something he picked out.

I guess the whole point of this rant is just to say, after 4 years, give me something!! LOL. I know I need to be patient but why not?

Plus its going to be difficult to find a ring that'll fit me without me trying it on. My fingers are so *F'ing* small that you can't even order my size on websites like Zales or even Walmart!

After practically brow beating my husband into proposing, I'm not of the mind (in hindsight, of course) of asking for a ring of any kind. However, that conflicts with my belief that you also shouldn't wait around for somebody to get their head out of their ass and do something that's inevitable anyway.

So I guess in the end, I actually have no decent advice to give and probably confused you more.   Sorry.  

I know how frustrating that is. Erik and I have been together (not including the few months last year that we broke up) around 2 years now and he JUST proposed (though I'm not supposed to tell anyone yet since he's not got the ring). The problem with my fingers is that I am (or was before my pregnancy) a size 4 1/2. I haaaave found a few rings on walmart.com that went down to4 1/2--i'd been looking at things for about 6 months... and if he'd not proposed by 4 years, I'd be asking him where our relationship was going. Especially if he wasn't counting the time we'd broke up. It's definitely not wrong to want... I say drop the hint

Quoting moira elizabeth's mommy:“ I know how frustrating that is. Erik and I have been together (not including the few months last year ... [snip!] ... was going. Especially if he wasn't counting the time we'd broke up. It's definitely not wrong to want... I say drop the hint”

Yea... My left hand ring finger is between a 3 and a 3.5 and my middle fingers (the thickest) is a 5 so my hands are really small. I've even looked on some websites for children's jewelry and some of the smallest they have on there are 4s. It sucks!

Quoting jnazmom:“ After practically brow beating my husband into proposing, I'm not of the mind (in hindsight, of course) ... [snip!] ... anyway. So I guess in the end, I actually have no decent advice to give and probably confused you more.   Sorry.  ”

I know we definitely have a future. We've been through so much together that whatever else comes our way will be survivable. I know how much he loves me and he tells me every day. I just want to have something to show everyone else how much he loves me too.

All of my friends are either engaged or married or living with their boyfriends/significant others. I'm just ready to show everyone that even though people doubted us, we are still here and together and stronger than ever.

i don't remember the website, but google Celtic rings.... one of the sites that comes up has baby rings

Quoting moira elizabeth's mommy:“ i don't remember the website, but google Celtic rings.... one of the sites that comes up has baby rings”

Really? I did google some stuff and the smallest I could find was a 4. I LOVE celtic jewelry so by saying that... I am going to google some more now. Thanks!

It's a whole lot nicer getting married/engaged/taking the next step when the man is the one initiating it. As in, when he's the one getting nervous and hopeful about asking the big question (or a big question, for that matter). Oh, there's alot of women who drag their men down the aisle kicking and screaming - my cousin did this just this past December - and, for the life of me, I don't know what on earth is so enticing about a man who has so little interest/confidence in his decision to be with you as to practically have to be forced to marry you.
You asked about rings. What does a ring matter if the commitment attached to it is weak? Believe you me - men do not fail to do the things they want to do. If a man wants his ring on a woman's finger, he buys the ring. If a man wants to marry a woman, he finds a way to ask. It's the same deal with women who think that a man doesn't know how to use the phone, and so, they call him. Seriously, if he wanted to call, believe me, he'd call.

Now, maybe he doesn't know that a ring is important to you. You can tell him that it's important to you, surely, but if he demonstrates a slowness to commit by dragging his feet, I'd say you've definitely got some things to consider regarding the direction of your relationship.

Quoting Kilikina:“ It's a whole lot nicer getting married/engaged/taking the next step when the man is the one initiating ... [snip!] ... by dragging his feet, I'd say you've definitely got some things to consider regarding the direction of your relationship.”

Its not that he doesn't want too or anything like that. I'm not forcing him to do anything like that either. I am a traditional girl when it comes to these things and I want it to be all his decision. I don't want to have anything to do with picking the ring. I am not even expecting an engagement ring or anything like that.

Its more of a financial situation. I don't need anything expensive either. He's paying over 1000 dollars in bills a month until at least September. He's trying to pay off his car as soon as possible to save up for an apartment. He already wishes that we were living together now but its not possible at this moment.

Its more of a jealousy thing on my part. I see others my age and younger being able to be with the ones that they love in no time and I have to wait at least 2 more months before I can even consider that opportunity. I'm not asking for a 5 carat diamond or anything like that. I would be happy with a ring from a bubblegum machine and long as he picked it out and gave it to me.

I just want something to show everyone that we are committed to each other and that we survived all odds and we are still going strong because there are some that still doubt us. I want it to be all his decision and his choices. Right now I am just happy with being able to live with him in the next couple of months. I just want to move to the next step. Its not like we are planning to get married a month after we get engaged. The date we've estimated is not for another 3.5 years!

Quoting Nicole Renee:“ Its not that he doesn't want too or anything like that. I'm not forcing him to do anything like that ... [snip!] ... not like we are planning to get married a month after we get engaged. The date we've estimated is not for another 3.5 years!”

Well, as anyone who has read my posts will know, I am a great advocate for saving sex for marriage. To be honest, I misunderstood the conext of the original post, and given your situation, I have no other advice to offer than this: Wait to live with him till you're married. Wait to have sex with him till you're married. If he's half of the great man you say he is, I'm sure he'd want to protect you by waiting for marriage too.

I'm afraid that in any situation where a man is already getting what he wants out of a relationship, he has no incentive to take any further steps of commitment. After all, "why by the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" That's simply human nature.

My advice isn't always popular on this site, but it's still good advice. Wait for marriage. It will be worth it.

Quoting Kilikina:“ It's a whole lot nicer getting married/engaged/taking the next step when the man is the one initiating ... [snip!] ... by dragging his feet, I'd say you've definitely got some things to consider regarding the direction of your relationship.”

You are right a hundred thousand percent!! I think people are absoulty retarded when they go on about how a guy likes them but they arnt calling,or wanting to get married when they dont ask..my fiance asked,he brought it up it was AMAZING!! its just how things are,there are people together for YEARS they break up get with someone and get married in less than a year-a guy will do anything for the right person.

Well, we've been together for the past 4.5 years. We did live together once but because his parents owned the house where we were staying and his sister and boyfriend (both over the age of 18 at the time) had no responsiblities and trashed their part of the house, we all had to move out.

While we were living together it was amazing. I mean I had freedom while in college but this was so much more different, so much better. I am excited to be able to live with him again. That'll be the highlight. As for getting a ring (any kind of ring) tha would just be a bonus.

Well, its kind of hard to wait to get married before having sex considering we have already lived together and we do have an angel baby. I was one of the types that wanted to wait till marriage but I didn't. He was been my one and only ever. In some ways, I am kind of glad I didn't wait. I was able to learn more about myself and he has always listened to me and never pushed anything on me.

I am not trying to sound like I think you are being silly or anything. I think that girls that can wait till they are married to have sex are amazing and strong people. I just didn't end up as one of them. I completely agree with thinking about waiting to be more financial and having everything to provide for a family before even thinking about starting one.

I am not trying to rush into things or force ideas where they don' belong. Even my boyfriend agrees with me with my jealousy thing. I fully admit that was the reasoning behind my vent. But I had to get it out. His sister is 20 years old and already has been engaged to 3 different guys and has lived with 3 other different guys and has been pregnant from one other. I don't want to be like her and jump into anything like that. I want that happily ever after love that lasts a lifetime thing. Kind of silly but that's the truth. Even my boyfriend agrees that even though she has done everything that I want, why rush it and make mistakes.