Stupid Man...

I just need to vent about my boyfriend, and the stupid thing he did this weekend.

My boyfriend, Jacob, has recently been more social than he used to be. I'm all for that; he used to be a huge stick in the mud when it came to parties and things, but now he'll tag along and have a few beers. He's also been speaking to a few of his ex's, just as acquaintaces that are catching back up on each others' lives. Afterall, he just became a father and in this town, everyone within our age group had heard about the pregnancy. And I'm okay with that! We're living together and he's been so supportive and loving throughout the whole pregnancy and first month of our daughter's life.

Over the weekend, we were having a get together at our place to celebrate his brother's home coming (he's in the Navy). Well Jacob decided to extend an invitation to one of his ex's - Samantha - and he didn't even tell me! He didn't discuss it with me beforehand, or even tell me after he had invited her. Luckily, she ended up not making it, and I just found out about it today.. and not from him; from his Gmail account, which popped up today when I signed onto the laptop.

Maybe this wouldn't be a big issue, but I have been struggling with horrible trust issues and self-esteem issues throughout most of our relationship. His ex's are almost all prettier than me, and I had a few bad experiences with Samantha early on in our relationship, since she had been his most recent ex before we started seeing each other. I'm just SO mad that he didn't talk to me about it first, to see how I would feel! He knows that I'm doing a lot better about jealousy and trust, but that shouldn't mean he doesn't have to get my approval for something like that. Especially knowing that if I had invited an ex over without telling him, he'd feel the same way.

I've all ready texted him about it and he's sorry for not having asked me first and just assuming it'd be okay, but I'm just really mad and hurt still. And it's not that I'd be necessarily threatened by her presence... but I don't want someone like her showing up when I'm struggling with my self-image so much right now! The pregnancy weight has really made it hard to keep me from hating my looks, and I wouldn't want some pretty bimbo tramping around in my back yard while I try to hide my extra layer of fat.

I don't blame you for being upset. I would be angry in that situation as well. What he did was not right. He should have asked you first.

Aww I am sorry you feel hurt mama, but a lot of time guys don't even think about what they're doing. He probably didn't think you would think it was a big deal since you never said anything about him hanging out with the others. Talk to him and make your feelings clear so he knows. Just remember you have something she doesn't...a beautiful baby girl.

yea if my husband would ever invite one of his ex's any where to be any where around him i would freak the hell out. i do not like my husband to be around any girls anyways. ihave horrible trust issues. andi dont care if they have been faithful to you forever that is just wrong to invite ur ex to just hang out with yall.

Sounds like a bad situation all around. I wish you the best of luck hun.

Quoting shoelais:“ I just need to vent about my boyfriend, and the stupid thing he did this weekend. My boyfriend, Jacob, ... [snip!] ... my looks, and I wouldn't want some pretty bimbo tramping around in my back yard while I try to hide my extra layer of fat.”

Just remember this, you must have something special because it is YOU whom he chooses to be with and come home to. Things with the ex obviously didn't work out for a reason! I would be mad if he had made plans that didn't include you being there without telling you, but since you were going to be at the party I think you have nothing to worry about on the trust side of the issue. He should have at least mentioned it to you, but I wouldn't be too mad at him! Just let him know how you feel!

Quoting shoelais:“ I just need to vent about my boyfriend, and the stupid thing he did this weekend. My boyfriend, Jacob, ... [snip!] ... my looks, and I wouldn't want some pretty bimbo tramping around in my back yard while I try to hide my extra layer of fat.”

you are a better woman than me if he talked to a single ex I would leave! I am super jealous he isnt allowed to talk to his ex's just like I am not allowed to talk to mine! it will only cause conflict plus if I ever saw his ex I would rip her fake blonde hair out of her head!!!!

Quoting shoelais:“ I just need to vent about my boyfriend, and the stupid thing he did this weekend. My boyfriend, Jacob, ... [snip!] ... my looks, and I wouldn't want some pretty bimbo tramping around in my back yard while I try to hide my extra layer of fat.”

i'd be pissed if my SO invited one of his ex's to our house, ESPECIALLY if he didn't tell me about it. i told his ex girlfriend off when we first got together cause she wouldn't stop running her mouth (keep in mind, this is before i was ever pregnant) & i almost beat her ass on the lightrail before i ever knew she was his ex.. haha. he'd probably be more pissed than i'd be though.. it's a touchy situation, but i think it was really wrong for him to do that.

Quoting Married Mama:“ you are a better woman than me if he talked to a single ex I would leave! I am super jealous he isnt ... [snip!] ... to talk to mine! it will only cause conflict plus if I ever saw his ex I would rip her fake blonde hair out of her head!!!!”

Haha that's basically how it used to be. I've worked a LOT to get to where I am now, where I can say, "It's okay, Jacob. You can say 'hi' to that ex when you see her at the mall." But even though I can deal with it, I'm still usually screaming, "WHORE WHORE WHORE!" in my head.

But there is ONE ex girlfriend that I will not allow him to speak to. She's from during a time we had broken up for a few months, and last September she had contacted him to be "friends", but wound up deciding she'd try to get together with him again. Long story short, I wound up slapping her right off the front porch steps one night in Nov. when she showed up and claimed that she was going to be his girlfriend, even after hearing I was pregnant. Little slut. Lol

Quoting alison / mommy of two:“ i'd be pissed if my SO invited one of his ex's to our house, ESPECIALLY if he didn't tell me about ... [snip!] ... he'd probably be more pissed than i'd be though.. it's a touchy situation, but i think it was really wrong for him to do that.”

This probably sounds dumb, but what's a lightrail?

The thing that made me most upset was him not talking to me about it first, but of course he didn't think about that when asking her. He's just not observant enough sometimes!

Quoting shoelais:“ This probably sounds dumb, but what's a lightrail? The thing that made me most upset was him not talking ... [snip!] ... to me about it first, but of course he didn't think about that when asking her. He's just not observant enough sometimes!”

it's like a train, they have them all over the place in northern california. probably other places too, but i wouldn't know. the only reason i'd be pissed if my SO was talking to his ex is because he knows we don't get along and i'd be pissed if he hid it from me! his other ex's, i wouldn't mind too much.. as long as he wasn't trying to hide it and nothing was going on.

Quoting shoelais:“ Haha that's basically how it used to be. I've worked a LOT to get to where I am now, where I can say, ... [snip!] ... when she showed up and claimed that she was going to be his girlfriend, even after hearing I was pregnant. Little slut. Lol”

ya his ex chose to try and tell me that he cheated on me with her when we first got together. Like we wouldve been dating only for a mnth wehn she says he cheated! But she didnt choose to tell me about this til the day after we got married! He says it never happened I think it did (but who knows) I want to kill her I swear i have never hated anyone more!

Quoting shoelais:“ Haha that's basically how it used to be. I've worked a LOT to get to where I am now, where I can say, ... [snip!] ... when she showed up and claimed that she was going to be his girlfriend, even after hearing I was pregnant. Little slut. Lol”

HAHA! sounds like something i'd do.

Quoting alison / mommy of two:“ HAHA! sounds like something i'd do.”

I agree! why do some girls just never seem to get the hint! like its over he dont want you!

Quoting Married Mama:“ I agree! why do some girls just never seem to get the hint! like its over he dont want you!”

Haha yeah, sometimes it just takes a literal smack to the head before they realize it's not gonna happen. It also helped that after I smacked her, he called her on my cell and told her to never contact him ever again. Score!