Why won't he,,,

Is it so wrongto want to get married to my baby's daddy? We've talked about the issue, well mostly I'VE talked about the issue, but he seems to be debating something. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves me, and he says he wants to marry me, yet...it hasn't happened. In his defense though, our relationship is fairly new (less than a year) and I kind of understand that he wants to wait. But on the other hand, we already live together, we are having a child, Isn't marraige the next logical step? I don't know...perhaps y'all can shed some light on my dilemna.

no marriage isnt the next logical step if you two BOTH arnt sure that you want to be together, why get married just to get a divorce?

You need to just give it time. You haven't really been together that long.

We are the complete opposite. My b/f wants to get married but I am not ready. I had a very bad marriage a few years back and I am terrified to get married again. We have been together for 5 years and we have 2 children. Well almost two and he loves my other 4 kids like they are his own. I just don't want things to change between us and I am afraid they will if we get married..But don't rush into anything..Give it time, and he will come around.

tiffany- oh yeah, we do want to get married. We've talked about even since before I was pregnant. There is no doubt in my mind about wanting to marry him, and like I said, I know he wants it to. That's why this whole thing is a little unnerving. If we both know we want it why not just do it? As for the whole divorce thing, well if it doesn't work out, there isn't much to be done about it. But I'm not going to let the fear of failure stop me from following my heart. Besides, regardless of what happens I know he will always be there for me. Thanks for the advice!

Teresa- I know everyone keeps telling me that. And it would be easier to do if I didn't feel that we were already practically married. I mean, I could understand if we were only still dating. That would be pushing it. But here we are getting everything ready for a long and healthy life together, yet there isn't a solid commitment. At least in my mind there isn't. Thank you!

Mommy- Although I have no authority in the matter. I think you are making the right choice by waiting, especially in regards to your experience. Yet, I can't help but wonder if it were a different situation, would you maybe say yes? I've always found that if the circumstances are at there best then there will be nothing to stand in your way...Thanks for listening.

Honestly, am I so wrapped up in this whole marraige institution thing that I am simply trying to push something that isn't quite ready? I just love him so much and at 28 I'm done looking...

Well, you just have to talk to him. You really haven't been together that long so it's gonna be hard. The first year of marriage is always the hardest.

Quoting babyblue28:“ Is it so wrongto want to get married to my baby's daddy? We've talked about the issue, well mostly I'VE ... [snip!] ... we are having a child, Isn't marraige the next logical step? I don't know...perhaps y'all can shed some light on my dilemna.”

I hate to sound likea bitch, or a broken record... but sometimes love just is not enough..

I love the shit out of Tyler, we've been together for as long as I can remember (9 years).. He's been with me through my deployment (everything the military dealt us) and we've never once been unfaithful to each other.. We've been living together (when the Army allows it) since I was 17 and he was 19..

But marriage still is not ready for us...

Don't go jumping into a lifetime commitment just because you love him. Please don't make the mistake a lot of us others have made..  

Keep a clear head, and your love for him strong, and when the time is right... Marriage will be suitable

Hmmm...maybe i have been putting to much importance on the institution and not really focusing on the relationship. For the most part, we have a pretty good one, considering it is relatively knew. I guess if I start shifting the focus from my petty concerns to the bigger picture (startinga family) then everything will eventually fall into place.