I CAN'T STAND HER!!!

bY HER, I mean my step-daughter's mom. She is such a CUNT!! That's right I used the C-word. I have a C-word list and only 4 people are on it. I reserve that word just for those 4!

So on to why I am so pissed off....oh such language-sorry I will try to clean it up...
Today Leah, my SD, asked if she could call here mom. So I gave her my cell and said sure. She hasn't heard from the(insert c word here)in about 4 months. She has every other weekend visitation and 2 weeks during the summer. She lost custody because she's a piece of crap. She doesn't call when she decides not to show up, she just doesn't show. So here's Leah, 6 kinds of upset, talking to her mom that isn't going to show. Then I hear Leah say something along the lines of that's not what I mean to say. I heard her upset tone more than her words. So I go in to investigate why my kid is so freaking upset. She accidentally called me mom to her ownmother. Leah calls me Cyndi so that she doesn't hurt her mom'sfeelings. (Isn't that a freaking trip, my 10 year old cares more about her mom's feelings than her 27 year old mom cares about hers!) So her mom has the nerve to come to my house,NOT to pick up her daughter, but to yell at me because I am "brainwashing her kid to think that I am her mom."
WTF!!! Are you kidding me?!
I wake her up in the mornings! I cook her breakfst before school! I brush her hair and fix it! I drive her to school! I pay for her shelter! I pay for her clothes and school supplies! The school calls ME if they have any questions or if she is sick. They don't even KNOW her mother's name! In every aspect, except giving birth, I AM HER MOTHER!!!
So noticing that Leah is upset I decide not to bring these little facts up. I change the subject and ask, "are you here to pick her up?" NO BITCH I'M HERE TO PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE!! She actually screams this at me. I wanted to punch her in her stupid, worthless mom face.
I am in my place. I happen to think that I am a wonderful mom. I provide for my kids. She doesn't even pay child support, even though she's $6,000 behind. We don't get a freaking dime. When she does have a job she joins the parent's fair share program and ends up only paying $10 every other week.
All the time I sacrifice things I want so that my kids can have something instead. Here this bitch pulls up with her nails done, her hair highlighted wearing name brand shoes and shirt! I'm in a wal mart tank top and jeans from 5 years ago and wearing $2 flip flops. (on a side note, yay my jeans from 5 years ago fit again) All that because I put my kids first.
Would it be so wrong if Leah called me mom? I have been with Chris since she was 14 months old. Her mom abandonded her on several occasions, I have been there. I have soaked up her tears when all she wanted was her mom and yet again mom didn't show. I was there while dad was in TX working and mom was on a I just need to be me right now binge. Seriously I don't even know what to say to this (C)! I fucking hate her! (again with the language--sorry)
What do I do? I can't stop being her mom, then she'll have no mom. Isn't a step mom better than nothing? I have never made her call me mom, out of respect for the fact I am not her mom, and it's her decision-not mine.
Wow so this is really long! Thanks for listening to my rant! Sorry for the cussing and the length. 

That really sucks. As far as your step-daughter, you are her mom. Blood is not always thicker than water. You have been there where she has otherwise proven her self to be unfit. Dont worry about it and if I were you, the next time she shows up not to pick up her daughter but to harrass you, I'd be calling the cops.

I am so glad she has you! Poor girl wouldn't have a mom if it wasn't for you, and because of that if she decides to call you mom then let her, you are the stable one that isn't going to leave her like her "birth" mom. maybe if her birth mom realized that she wouldn' t leave her own flesh and blood. But obviously her priorities aren't straight. My heart goes out to that little girl and I am glad she has you!! Sometimes people freak out at others because of their own guilt.

That little girl needs you mama!
I'm glad you didn't stoop to C-words level, in front of YOUR child.

to her you are her mom, she will most likely see you as mom for the rest of her life, her mother needs to shove it and show her child she cares or she'll want nothing to do with her eventually

Quoting ~*~Tasia~*~:“ That really sucks. As far as your step-daughter, you are her mom. Blood is not always thicker than water. ... [snip!] ... about it and if I were you, the next time she shows up not to pick up her daughter but to harrass you, I'd be calling the cops.”

agreed

You are not making the child call you mom. It sounds like she cares for you like a mom, and you her. I hate mothers like that. If they want to be mom, be one, don't just try to claim the title.
I think you did a good job not punching her in the face though. That prolly would have hurt your kiddo's feelings. Though when she is 15 she might just do it herself lol.
Good luck and keep up the good work.

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ bY HER, I mean my step-daughter's mom. She is such a CUNT!! That's right I used the C-word. I have a ... [snip!] ... her decision-not mine. Wow so this is really long! Thanks for listening to my rant! Sorry for the cussing and the length. ”

i can totally see why you're upset. my step mom raised me and my sister and we both call her mom. but i also call my bio-mom mom too. when i talk to them i call the other by their names. so it's totally normal for her to be calling you mom when you're basically raising her. tell that c*** if she was raising her daughter like she should be her daughter would be calling her and her only mom but she isn't!

I think that woman is looney! I would have put HER in her place...lol But you seem to be doing everything right by your step daughter. Don't let this ridiculous excuse for a woman try to convince you otherwise! She obviously doesn't have her priorities straight and has no right to put you down in any way. If it makes you feel better call her all the names in the book   And don't let her get in the way of the strong relationship you have with "your" daughter. Just b/c she popped a kid out does not make her a mom. Being a loving, supporting, caring, helpful, postive figure in her life makes you more of a mother than she will ever be! Feel better hun you are doing the right things for that little girl  

your step daughter knows who cares about her the most an her mom is just a bitch that cant handle the truth thats why shes so defensive.dont even sweat that stuff cause when your step daughter grows into a beautiful woman you can smile an know its all cause of you,not cause of her real mom!!

Ok now I feel validated, so thank you all. I just feel like maybe I'm making a bunch of mistakes and it's nice to know that maybe, just maybe, I'm doing what I should be doing. Thank you for letting me rant and the positive responses. I wasn't sure if I would get good or bad feedback. Sometimes the step mom gets a bad rep for trying to "do too much" and "stepping on mom's toes in the process" I was really hoping no one would say that tonight. Thanks again ladies.

I agree with the others... you are more than just a step mom. It seems your daughter feels the same since she called you mom. (shows what a good job you are doing too that she is thoughtful of the feelings of someone who is never there for her). I say you keep doing what you are doing... being a mother, supporting your daughter when she is having a bad day and being there with her making great memories. Good luck!!!!!

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ Ok now I feel validated, so thank you all. I just feel like maybe I'm making a bunch of mistakes and ... [snip!] ... too much" and "stepping on mom's toes in the process" I was really hoping no one would say that tonight. Thanks again ladies.”

When your step-daughter grows to be an amazing, successful woman, she will have you to thank and nothing owed to her "birth mother"

I'm sorta in the same boat as you. I have 2 step sons and their mom is also a POS who abandoned them. I just wanted to tell you, i think it takes a special kind of woman to be a mother to children who are not your own. And Leah will realize you were always there for her, not her "mom" and thats all that will matter. She will realize what a "c-word" her own mother really is.

Yay for Step Mommies!  

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ Ok now I feel validated, so thank you all. I just feel like maybe I'm making a bunch of mistakes and ... [snip!] ... too much" and "stepping on mom's toes in the process" I was really hoping no one would say that tonight. Thanks again ladies.”

Of course not you are supermom   OT I parentanked you! Hope you don't mind