re: baby daddy

Its because boys are stupid!

Quoting [12]♥[24]♥[:“ I'm with you on this one. He may be one of those super-dads coming to save the day, or he may just be ... [snip!] ... it's only going to hurt you and your baby worse. You have to take a gamble and decide if you're willing to risk getting hurt.”

i know i just think maybe he really does because he was always an amazing loving caring kinda guy .. i know im sick of getting hurt and i just either want him to be a father forever or not be there it all and i dont think thats the wrong thing to do he had his chance to be there and he waited this long ? i dont think its fair it all but i could just be over reacting but i honestly dont think i am

Quoting Geminyzd:“ Yeah if thast the case then you don't need him. Let him be there for his child but I wouldn't try to start a relationship or anything with him.”

i dont wanna be with him ever again, i just want him to be a father to his son and not keep coming in his life and leaving

Quoting hollywood aka holly:“ yeah i know i dont want my son to not have a dad but right now he doesnt deserve to be part of his ... [snip!] ... if he says he wants to be there i just want to protect him and not have a dad in his life randomly and then not have one it all”

you know, and that is COMPLETELY normal. have i thought of that? ofcourse! and when it comes down to it, if he wants to be there, he'll try. and if he truly doesn't, then he won't. if he decides to only stick his head in when he wants to, then that's also a differant story and u'll have to deal with it when it comes. your saying you want him to havea father figure in his life, well hun, he'll have one whether it's him or it's someone else (assuming you go out there and find mr. right). but as for the first few years, he'll be too young to understand his real dad coming in and out of his life. and by the time he does start to understand, you woulda made your decision already and kicked him to the curb if needed be.

Quoting hollywood aka holly:“ i dont wanna be with him ever again, i just want him to be a father to his son and not keep coming in his life and leaving”

Yeah I don't blame you. I would let him know that your willing to let him be a part of your childs life but you're not willing to play the guessing game and wonder if he's gonna pull the same thing as before.

Quoting s a n d r a:“ Haha... Wow. Same situation happening to me. But he's such a half-ass it's not even funny. He'll say ... [snip!] ... doesn't act upon it. Ofcourse I'm not falling for his shit again, but at the same time I'm not going to keep my daughter away.”

My ex did the VERY same thing, he would go on and on about how he would be there, and that he would "do better" and all that crap, then when it came down to it he still didnt seem to have us high enough on his priority list to call or check on us.

I was the one that finally made the decision to go on without him at all. I would much rather my son have no Dad instead of a part time Dad. Im not going to sit around wondering if he's going to have the decency to think about his son today and pick up the phone.

Quoting hollywood aka holly:“ i know i just think maybe he really does because he was always an amazing loving caring kinda guy .. ... [snip!] ... there and he waited this long ? i dont think its fair it all but i could just be over reacting but i honestly dont think i am”

Girl, trust me, you're not over reacting! I'm in the same sitaution as you. I love my BD with all my heart, and if he were to come home, I'd want to accpet him with open arms. But I wouldn't. Why? Because I know that if he left once, he'll do it again, and I'm not willing to put myself and my child especially at risk. If I were you, I'd move on, find a man who accepted you and your baby the FIRST time, and let him be daddy. But since I can't get inside your mind and make you do that (lol), you just gotta follow your heart and do what you think is best for you and your baby, cause as much as I want you to go with my opinion, only YOU know what's best.

i guess in the end im just scared to get hurt again like before ... and he doesnt even have a good answer to why he hasnt been there? hes been busy

Quoting hollywood aka holly:“ i guess in the end im just scared to get hurt again like before ... and he doesnt even have a good answer to why he hasnt been there? hes been busy”

Busy?? He's been BUSY?? Wow.

Quoting [12]♥[24]♥[:“ Busy?? He's been BUSY?? Wow.”

yeahh exactly so i dont know what to do ..

Quoting hollywood aka holly:“ yeahh exactly so i dont know what to do ..”

what is it that you wanna do? do you wanna let him in, or do you wanna shut him out for good? there's pros and cons with each of 'em.

its scary when people find out they are going to be parents... and a lot of people freak when they are young... just remember that it does take two to tango... and if you shut him out.... then you should not be able to go after him for child support.... women that do that are just plain mean and cruel....

and also babies DO understand the difference between daddy and mommy. and when they are babies... they DO bond with their dads... its been scientifically proven that babies bond multiple people... moms a little more because of breast feeding... but thats the only difference.

i say-tell him that he is not going to be in "your life" but he can be with his child... at first only having supervised visits, then of couse day visits.... and eventually overnights... if he is willing to be that kind of dad... i would get a court order just to make sure that things dont go haywire though. its a night mare trying to do it later... i know from experience!!

good luck with this, and i hope that he really wants to be there... some boys just take a little warming up... just dont dance around the subject of him not being there prego... doing it alone would suck!

Quoting hollywood aka holly:“ why is that now that jackson is almost ready to come out that he know wants to act like a father ? is it wrong for me to kinda not want him there now or what?”

At least yours is trying to be a father...Im in the same boat but he hasnt called for almost a month...like um hello!? Its like really hard considering Ive been carrying Cole and then all of sudden your ready to stop acting like an ass and stop drinking...ummm your late in my book buddy! lol...