Adoption (Sensitive Subject)

I don't want any rude comments or anything like that but I do want to say first off that this is a sensitive subject to me, that's why I don't want any rude comments said and that it takes a mother's love to put your child in someone elses arms. But I have my reasons why I put my child up for adoption but I have a son who is adopted and has been since he was 5 months old. He is three now but I feel guilty for having another child while he is living with another family. I'm keeping this one but I'm scared that when he finds out that he was adopted and that I kept his sister, that he might turn his back on me and say that he doesn't want to see me anymore. I see him every two weeks. And out of everyone who has seen him, I have kept every visit with him since he went up for adoption. And Mark (the guy who adopted him) told me if he asks why was he adopted, he is going to tell him to ask me. I know what I'm going to say but I'm afraid of how he is going to react when I do. AndI was curious to know how many other mothers out there put their child up for adoption and had another kid? Or how many of you put your child up for adoption and what did you say to them? Plus, I can use some support on this.

I'm taking a chance by letting people know about this. And my fiance said that he doesn't want him affecting this pregnancy, I told him that it isnt going to change anything about this pregnancy. But this has been on my mind.

Is it an open adoption? Open records? Or would he have to find him completely on his own? Cause if he doesn't know you, or have access to his records, and the parents don't know your name, it's going to be kind of hard.

My fiance is looking for his real mom right now. All he has is a name, and there's like 400 something of them, so it's really hard.

Quoting Expecting a Daddy's Girl:“ I don't want any rude comments or anything like that but I do want to say first off that this is a sensitive ... [snip!] ... kid? Or how many of you put your child up for adoption and what did you say to them? Plus, I can use some support on this.”

To help you out, I think I might need some other questions answered first. Why did you put him up for adoption? Does he have the same father as the baby you're pregnant with now?

A lot can change in 3 years. If you're always there for him, he'll never have to question why you gave him up, or if you love him. I don't think you'll have any problems. Lots of women who adopt out a child go on to have other children. I'm sure there were factors then, that don't apply now and allow you to be able to mother a child. He will understand. Don't stress it.

tell him the truth
you prob are are in a better place in life your a strong woman just stay tough your lil boy will love you no matter what just dont lie to him

Quoting Expecting a Daddy's Girl:“ I don't want any rude comments or anything like that but I do want to say first off that this is a sensitive ... [snip!] ... kid? Or how many of you put your child up for adoption and what did you say to them? Plus, I can use some support on this.”

First of all, i have great respect for you for making such a hard decision and i know it couldnt have been easy...

He may not understand at first, no matter how you try to explain it to him.... Tell him you will always be his birth mom but he was meant to be with Mark... you love him forever... and no less than this baby...

Quoting Rileyxo[MAEK]:“ Is it an open adoption? Open records? Or would he have to find him completely on his own? Cause if he ... [snip!] ... is looking for his real mom right now. All he has is a name, and there's like 400 something of them, so it's really hard.”

i'm sorry Imissed some of that. Just tell him the truth. Why did you put him up for adoption?

Quoting Rileyxo[MAEK]:“ Is it an open adoption? Open records? Or would he have to find him completely on his own? Cause if he ... [snip!] ... is looking for his real mom right now. All he has is a name, and there's like 400 something of them, so it's really hard.”

I see him every two weeks, and every chance I get.

my first was adopted.. and now hes almost 5.. and my second is 7 months old with me since now im older and capable

you said a guy adopted him...does he have a mom?

I put him up for adoption because I was in an abusive relationship, I needed help taking care of him and I wanted to give him a better life. Thats why.

Quoting McLeary:“ you said a guy adopted him...does he have a mom?”

Yea, but I don't talk to her. She is not a people person.

ALot can change in a short period of time. I dont have any experience with adoption, but as a mom I can say that it had to be a very hard decision for you to make and to be able to put the best interests of your child before your own is a huge thing and that takes a very big person to do it. Things are different in your life now, dont feel guilty because you are in a better situation now. That's awesome. And your little boy is who he is because of the decisions you and his adoptive parents have made. If he's safe, happy, and healthy than that's a great thing. You are a very strong woman. Just stress to him that you did the best thing you could for him even though it broke your heart, you put him first. That's what being a true mother is.

Quoting Expecting a Daddy's Girl:“ I put him up for adoption because I was in an abusive relationship, I needed help taking care of him and I wanted to give him a better life. Thats why.”

those are good reasons and very selfless ones! tell him that! that it was to give him a better life!