I need some advice for anyone that is bored...

Well here’s the deal. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now and while I am not ready to get married right now I know I want to get married to him. I tried talking to him about it but he always changes the subject and it’s not like I’m telling him propose to me right now but I want to know if he thinks marriage is in the future for us which is completely understandable. He says he doesn’t see how someone can know in 3 years and he doesn’t know. The next day he came home asking if I wanted to go pick out a ring and when I asked why he said because he doesn’t want me to leave him. Of course this hurts me I just don’t see how you cannot know by now and if he doesn’t know then am I wasting my time? I just don’t want to be waiting around for him yet I don’t want to pressure him either. Should I just wait until I am at that place where I’m ready and if he still is in that position move on? Obviously it’s a hard to decision. I mean he wants to get a house together right now and I just feel that is a long term decision and I don’t want to make that decision until he knows if he wants to marry me. Right now I think the best thing is to not bring it up again until I’m ready to take the next step. Any advice?

my husband asked me to marry him only after 5 months, i was shocked but i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him

I'm not exactly sure what to say. My fiancee and I knew eachother when we were fifteen. We got reunited before Christmas and talked since and he ended up proposing to me in March. He should know by now, in my opinion. But, if you're not ready, yet, anyway. I wouldn't bring it up until you are.

Quoting Krysti22:“ Well here’s the deal. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now and while I am not ... [snip!] ... to marry me. Right now I think the best thing is to not bring it up again until I’m ready to take the next step. Any advice?”

after 3 years he should know b4t if you arent ready then i wouldnt push it just wait until you are and if he still doesnt know then in my opinion he doesnt know about being with you period so I would just wait til its the right time and buying a house together would be very difficult because if you dont end up getting married an dgod frobid you break up it is going to be a fight ove rthe house and everything so I would wait!

I guess my advice is to follow your heart it to my husband 7 years and yes I wanted it after 2 or 3 years but he just wasn't ready. I feel the best thing is not to pressure him. I fyou pressure him you will probably push him away. About the house thing that is a tough decision because that locks you guys in financially for a long time. I would think long and hard about this decision. Good Luck 

I can relate to this one. I've been with mine for 6 yrs. we live together and we're having our second baby together. Whenever I bring up marriage he starts blushing like a little kid. He says when we are financially stable we will. Then he says while smiling "I'm not getting married" Last wk he said let's go to the courthouse and make it official I was so surprised because he was sober when he said it lol. But when I started telling people he began denying it which he didn't know was really hurting me. I told himand we agreed on a date. But now I'm second guessing myself.I love him but I want to be in a position where I am stable and capable of taking care of me and my kids alone if need be.

Quoting Married Mama:“ after 3 years he should know b4t if you arent ready then i wouldnt push it just wait until you are and ... [snip!] ... end up getting married an dgod frobid you break up it is going to be a fight ove rthe house and everything so I would wait!”

Yea I already told him I not going to get a house with him where he stands right now.

Quoting mic [mommytobe]:“ I'm not exactly sure what to say. My fiancee and I knew eachother when we were fifteen. We got reunited ... [snip!] ... me in March. He should know by now, in my opinion. But, if you're not ready, yet, anyway. I wouldn't bring it up until you are.”

I wish it was like that for me! lucky!  

Quoting Krysti22:“ I wish it was like that for me! lucky!  ”

Thanks! :]. Well, I hope everything works out.  

I think he just wants all the benefits of being married without being married. My husband asked me after six months, after three years your man should defiantly know.
If you wait Seven years he can just walk away from you if he wanted, I would never wait that long, I would hate him if he wasted seven years of my life. You could also be in a situation where he feels he must marry you since he's been with you for so long and he just doesn't want you to leave him. I don't think that's good terms to get married on.
It's not a good idea to pressure a men but at the same time you have to think about yourself, you could be waiting on a bench for this guy to pick you up and marry you for all eternity.
Your defiantly in a sticky situation especially if you have a child together. I think you just need to communicate what you want and he needs to communicate what he wants back. What is he afraid of? Does he really feel like you may not be the one? What about you does he not like? Im sure your a great person and as long as you know that he should know that.
I wish you and him well and you can talk about this, don't disregard it. Your feelings are important too.

Quoting Krysti22:“ Well here’s the deal. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now and while I am not ... [snip!] ... to marry me. Right now I think the best thing is to not bring it up again until I’m ready to take the next step. Any advice?”

In my opinion, he should know by now. Me and my fiancee told eachother we wanted to get married in half that time... but like someone said before me, if you aren't ready,. wait till you are ready till you talk about it. About the house buying situation, I would wait on that until he is ready to talk about getting married and are sure you will spend the rest of your life togehter. I say this because what if you guys don't wind up getting married, then you are stuck with a house with him and you will have to go to court over who keeps it. I really hope it all works out for ya, I completely understand your situation.

What is marriage? It is signing a $60 piece of paper, it is not a life time promise to one another, it is the state keeping up on you. Really say you and your man are fighting, are you really going to think back to that contract and think, gosh we really don't want to have to go through the mess of the court system. Well either way you would have to because now you have a child.

I am married. BUT Just by state law. I had to get it signed because I needed his insurance. I don't even know what the date is. We are having a wedding but it's more like a big party honoring our family. He's already made the biggest commitment hecan every make in life, he had a child with you. this makes you more connected then any piece of paper.

Either you're going to stay together, if you don't nag about marriage, or your not. Marriage won't change your life

If anything you can tell him that being a crazy female you want to write each other loveletters make apromise to each other and yourfamily. Or you can have aweddingbut maybe not sign it with the state.
Hope this helped

Quoting Mrs.mama:“ What is marriage? It is signing a $60 piece of paper, it is not a life time promise to one another, it ... [snip!] ... make apromise to each other and yourfamily. Or you can have aweddingbut maybe not sign it with the state. Hope this helped”

I didnt look at marriage like that thast a very unromantic way to look at it I took it as me standing before god our families and friends and vowing my life to my soulmate I wouldnt even of needed the paper I just wanted to pledge myself to him and our family and show my love to god and everyone else!