I should have known better (ranting! sorry!)

So I was at my DPs last night and he's currently divorcing his X (yeah yeah I know but hewas gettingextra money that he was sending her while he was still married to her because the military will do that...they've been seperated 2 yrsand the deal was that when one of them meets someone they divorce...well I'm the someone and wow it sounds bad, especially on a TTC forum!) He got an email from her saying that he is now expected to pay between 600 and 700 dollars a month when the divorce goes through for 'spousal support'. What the hell??? She would NO LONGER BE HIS SPOUSE!!! So why does she get spousal support? She's being completly stupid and the fact is that he has been sending her 1100 a month for the past2yrsand just because she has criminal convictions so it's tough for her to get a good job, she feels that this is his responsiblity to support her even after the divorce?? I don't thinks so! If she wanted a good freekin job maybe she shouldnt' have broken the law!!!
I just don't know what the heck to do here. We're supposed to be TTC but now that all this is happening I'm not so sure it's a good idea...I would love to have a child so much with him now but I don't want her to ruin such a special time. I don't know...I've got some thinking to do on it. I know his heart will be broken if I insist that we stop TTC...and it's not his fault. He was just trying to be the good guy by supporting her for so long and now she's trying to screw him over. I just wish that everything could be simple, ya know?

Sorry for my rant! And of course I'm currently in my TWW...so if I'm pregnant anyway there's no need to worry about whether to TTC or not anyway LMAO!

probably because he cheated and thats against UCMJ, or because she never worked while they were married. Why would you mess around with a married man and be TTc with him? Especially if he still hasn't divorced his wife, what makes you think he won't cheat on you? If I was you, I wouldn't get pregnant until DIVORCED, he is in contract with the military and is breaking the UCMJ, not setting a good example for his fellow soldiers.

Quoting TiredNanny:“ So I was at my DPs last night and he's currently divorcing his X (yeah yeah I know but hewas gettingextra ... [snip!] ... of course I'm currently in my TWW...so if I'm pregnant anyway there's no need to worry about whether to TTC or not anyway LMAO!”

Spousal support is something that is awarded depending on how long the marriage was and it is awarded to the spouse who was supported by the other.

So if he was supported by her, then she would have to pay him.

thats shitty..i have friends that have to do the smae thing and i JUST DONT GET IT, are they lazy,stupid....I guess because Ive never been there i just dont know.. thats retarded..you might want to start putting money away for your baby while you TTC you never know what will happen..and is he going to fight in court, and is the divorce even finalized? make sure he is not still married to her..

I'm no means versed in legality here but I'm pretty sure if they've been married for awhile, and he was the main breadwinner, that she could in fact peg him for some alimony.. It would only last until she remarries.. There may be some other stipulations but that's one I know of..

Quoting ~*~HautéMama~*~ BISH!!:“ I'm no means versed in legality here but I'm pretty sure if they've been married for awhile, and he was ... [snip!] ... him for some alimony.. It would only last until she remarries.. There may be some other stipulations but that's one I know of..”

usually 6 months so that they can get on their feet.

Quoting (Kaila):“ probably because he cheated and thats against UCMJ, or because she never worked while they were married. ... [snip!] ... DIVORCED, he is in contract with the military and is breaking the UCMJ, not setting a good example for his fellow soldiers.”

It sounds like they had an agreement not to get a divorce until one of them wants to remarry so I wouldn't really count it as "he was cheating on her, so he'll cheat on you" thing.

Quoting (Kaila):“ probably because he cheated and thats against UCMJ, or because she never worked while they were married. ... [snip!] ... DIVORCED, he is in contract with the military and is breaking the UCMJ, not setting a good example for his fellow soldiers.”

oh god, i spent some time afew years ago in the military before deciding it wasnt for me and OMG the people there are just skannnky! Im not talking all, but in basic and stuff married people were sleeping with eachother,single people were sleeping with married people the instructors and higher ranks were sleeping with eachother..it was crazy! (not saying its everyone of course...

Quoting SqueakyChicken:“ It sounds like they had an agreement not to get a divorce until one of them wants to remarry so I wouldn't really count it as "he was cheating on her, so he'll cheat on you" thing.”

against military law still, and she can still nail him for support and thats stupid just to stay married to get the extra pay from the military, and why would anyone mess with a married man? They obviously don't care about their Vows, seperated or not, he is still married until the marriage is dissolved in the courts eye with a judge's signature.

Quoting Sara12345:“ oh god, i spent some time afew years ago in the military before deciding it wasnt for me and OMG the ... [snip!] ... people the instructors and higher ranks were sleeping with eachother..it was crazy! (not saying its everyone of course...”

Yep, it happens and it's sad. Honor Vows people, it's not that hard.

Quoting (Kaila):“ against military law still, and she can still nail him for support and thats stupid just to stay married ... [snip!] ... their Vows, seperated or not, he is still married until the marriage is dissolved in the courts eye with a judge's signature.”

Yeah by law they are but both parties are fine with it then I don't see the problem with being with a technically married man. People get married all the time for insurance, citizenship, etc. It's not like the wife and husband are living together/have some sort of relationship still.

Quoting SqueakyChicken:“ Yeah by law they are but both parties are fine with it then I don't see the problem with being with ... [snip!] ... for insurance, citizenship, etc. It's not like the wife and husband are living together/have some sort of relationship still.”

By Law? honey the military has STANDARDS and he obviously can't meet them, if your not happy, get divorced, instead of staying married for extra money. It's shit like that that pisses true military people off. stay married for the bah,bas and tricare. fucking pathetic and stupid.

Quoting (Kaila):“ By Law? honey the military has STANDARDS and he obviously can't meet them, if your not happy, get ... [snip!] ... shit like that that pisses true military people off. stay married for the bah,bas and tricare. fucking pathetic and stupid.”

your right, but i hate the fact that people are getting married, and divorced just as fast..what happened to working things out and trying? military does have great benifits though,they pay for everything 

Quoting Sara12345:“ your right, but i hate the fact that people are getting married, and divorced just as fast..what happened ... [snip!] ... as fast..what happened to working things out and trying? military does have great benifits though,they pay for everything ”

yep and free marriage counseling, but don't just stay married for the extra money, it's pathetic

Quoting (Kaila):“ By Law? honey the military has STANDARDS and he obviously can't meet them, if your not happy, get ... [snip!] ... shit like that that pisses true military people off. stay married for the bah,bas and tricare. fucking pathetic and stupid.”

It also sounds an awful lot like fraud to me.. Too bad there are few ways of proving it