A handy guide to the world of TDC..
posted 14th Jul '08
Hello there, New Member!
I'd like to take this time to welcome you to the wonderful world of Baby-Gaga, or as we "OG's" like to call it, "BG".
"What is an 'OG'?" You might be asking yourself. Well, Let me tell you!
Urbandictionary.com defines an OG as: someone who has been around, old school gangster. Which definitely describes us BG OG's, well! (Side note: OG can also mean, "Original Gaga'er". It's up to the person to decide what the "OG" acronym means to them) We've been around for awhile, so we've seen a lot of things in our BG days!
Saying that, I feel it's my job as an OG to take this opportunity to educate you, the new member, and hopefully help you ease into the BG world smoothly, all the while cutting down the number of n00bs on this wonderful site significantly.
What is a n00b, You ask?
A n00b, as defined by urbandictionary.com, is a person who knows little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own.
At this point in time, you are considered a newbie. Basically, that just means you're a little new, probably a little excited, but hopefully you're willing to learn more and eventually blend into the BG scene. What I'm about to share with you, however, can make the difference in you being considered a newbie in contrast to another run-of-the-mill-highly-ridiculed n00b.
So listen & listen closely. I now present you with a REVISED list of Phrases/Lines/Comebacks that are over used on BG. Take time to educate yourself so you don't fall prey to the redundancy that threatens to over take this site.
A Concerned OG Member.
1. "If you don't like my posts, don't read them"
- Of course we are going to read them if we don't like you and/or your posts. What else are we going to bitch about and later possibly use against you?
2. "Grow up."
- Says the Teen "Gem" to the 20 something year old. Come on now, Get it togetttthhherrrr.
3. "You're going to be/are a Mother."
- As Jennfurr (known as: Jennniefahhh and previously known as m0sthat3d) would say: How I act online is not a reflection of how I maybe in real life or my ability to be mom. However, your stupidity is a wonderful insight to the lack of brain cells you possess.
4. "You're a bitch"
- Thank you for noticing! You're STILL a moron.
5. As Starla pointed out: "Shut the smurf up" (also read as STFU)
- So.. that's the best you can come up with? Really? How much thought did you put into that?
6. "I'm leaving & Never coming back!"
- See you tomorrow! Should we expect an avi and/or username change? Or a whole new account entirely?
7. "You're so immature."
- Yet, here you are. Responding.
8. "You're in a clique!"
- No. I have online friends. A group of people who happen to share my views, opinions, and generally respect me as a person and enjoy speaking to me on a regular basis. I know this crazy concept of friendship is probably foreign to you, with you being a dipsmurf and all, I can't imagine there's too many people out there interested in being your friend.
9. "The internet is your life!"
- And yet, everytime I sign on.. there you are. Just as much, if not more than I am. So tell me, what exactly is that saying for you?
10. "You follow me around to pick on me!"
- You're probably right. However, as you're incredibly stupid, I feel as though I should take every opportunity to tell you that.
11. "The Drama Corner is immature!"
- Why, hello n00b! I'm so glad to see you found TDC 5 posts into your BG experience! Pot? is that you? The kettle is WHAT? Black you say?
(Author would like to insert a sidenote: The OP of 13 and Pregnant was neither 13 nor pregnant. She was a full-fledged faker. Stop responding to her. She can't hear you anymore.)
12. "You LIVE for drama!"
- I wouldn't necessarily say I LIVE for drama, however, I do pay homage to it on a regular basis.
13. "You just LOVE drama!"
- No. I just REALLY love making fun of you. That, my never-to-be friend, is a HUGE difference.
14. "Stop bashing/attacking me!"
- Just stop being stupid. Then I'll stop being mean. All this is, is a classic example of Cause and Effect.
15. "Get a life!"
- Try finding someone who genuinely cares about yours. Your mother or father does not count, either.
16. "You're just jealous!"
-Disgusted? Yes. Appalled? Absolutely. Hopeful that you'll fall off the face of the Earth? No doubt. But JEALOUS? Sure, in the same way I'd be jealous that a dog can lick it's own smurf.
17. "You think EVERYTHING is about you!"
- No No, Dear Heart, you MAKE everything you post about me. I've come across Glass less transparent than you.
18. "I'm going to hang out with my husband now. Like you can't. Cause you're ALONE!"
- Check this, sweet spirit: I've seen pictures of your Significant Other. And Frankly? I'd rather make love to a rusty nail than admit to being married to that thing you call your husband.
19. "I'm done wasting my time with you!"
- So I should expect a response or PM from you in..what? 5 minutes or so?
20. "You're just a miserable bitch!"
- You know, I can give you the bitch thing. That I am. However, the ONLY time you will find me classified as "miserable" is when you come on and grace us all with your gibberish-filled nonsense posts and vomit-inducing avi.
21. "I'm 14 and more mature than you are at 21!"
- Now, Now little girl. First off, why don't we take a step back from the computer. Close the Myspizzle tab on your browser where you are uploading your bathroom mirror pictures, go clean your room and put away the dishes like your mommy asked you 3 days ago, then get back to me in about 5 years when you are old enough to know the true definition of mature.
22. "You're a facker!"
- the facker age is over. You missed it. It's already been abused and frankly, if you weren't around when it originally happened, that word should never leave your fingertips.
23. "Why don't you go take care of your kids?"
- You mean these monsters, running around, tearing up my house? Now why would I do something crazy like that, when instead, I could sit on here and continue to put you in your place?
It's called naps and independent play, smurf-for-brains.
24. "Why don't you go read to your kid or something?"
- Well, as I took another n00b's advice and read to my kid in utero, he's smart enough already. Thanks.
25. "I feel sorry for your children!"
- I feel sorry for your parents. Bet they are really rethinking the whole Birth Control thing now, eh?
26. "You know what? I'm going to cafemom. They are actually NICE and MATURE over there!"
- Please. PLEASE go to Cafemom. Cafemom where they do nothing but smurf rainbows and sunshine, and prance through the e-flowers, whilst holding e-hands. I pity them for gaining a member such as yourself. God speed, smurftard. God Speed.
27. "This is a PARENTING site! We're all here for SUPPORT!"
- What site did you think you stumbled on? Take it to Cafemom, n00b. They love ignoramuses such as yourself. We don't tolerate 'em here, Maynard. We give support as we see fit. We also ridicule as we see fit. We seen fit to ridicule. Live with it.
(for my 35+ ladies Thanks RubyGirl!)
28. "Wow. You're old enough to be my mom! I think it's funny you're sitting on here fighting with a TEENAGER."
- First off, let's address the mom issue. I find it funny your mother didn't teach you this nifty little thing called respect. I'm your elder. Respect me. Now go smack your mother for failing to teach you what I just had to. Secondly, You're the one that's screaming for equality despite your age. You're getting it. I find you to be so ignorant it hurts, and I'm letting you know this.. just like I would one of the big kids. Oh? What's that? Not so keen on equality now are you? Didn't think so. Go back to High School.
29. "If you don't like my avi, don't look at it!"
- Let me get this straight. You used a picture of your entire vageen hanging out of your 9 year old sister's panties, while you were wearing your soon-to-be infant daughter's bikini top and you expect me NOT to look? Sweetie, it's like a train wreck. I DON'T WANT to look - but my eyes can't help but be drawn to the hot mess you call your face and body.
30. "This whole site is just ridiculous!"
- What's ridiculous is the fact your mother chose not to swallow.
31. "I wasn't talking to you!"
- I'm going to explain something to you, my wee brainless lass, you just posted on a PUBLIC FREAKING FORUM. You know what that means? I CAN READ EVERYTHING YOU TYPE. Thus giving ME the ability to respond to you, despite the fact you may have not spoken to me directly. Don't like that? Send an announcement out next time.. TO YOUR PT. Obviously they are stupid enough to tolerate your nonsense.. I'm not.
32. "Too bad you're fat!"
- I'm going to let you in a little secret. I'M HARBORING A FETUS IN MY WOMB, you moronic imbecile. You know that "fat"? That's me... GROWING AN EFFING LIFE INSIDE OF ME. You, on the otherhand, have something very disturbing going on with your facial region. What can you blame THAT on?
33. "You started it!"
- Congratulations. You managed to resort to grammar school level a lot quicker than the last n00b. Technically, you're mother started this, by allowing you to grow up, reproduce, join this forum and then grace us all with your stupidity. Remind me to smack her for that if I ever come across her. In the mean time, I'm going to FINISH this and with any luck, leave you MORE of a sniveling, pathetic, n00bish mass of asininity than you've already somehow managed to be.
34. "Age DOESNT define how good of a mother you are!"
- Well, now. Let's think about this: You're 14 years old. You have the vocabulary of a drunken sailor whose been out to sea for 3 years, the maturity level of a 5th grader, the grammar of a 1st grader, the common sense of a $2 hooker on crack, and the wits of Jessica Simpson. Yes. I think your age DEFINITELY defines how good of a mother you'll be. I think it defines it perfectly, in fact.
Thank you for reading!
OG members, feel free to add your advice as you see fit!