Just wondering

I've been thinking about this off and on and decided to post it on here...
I'm 19 and due with my first child on September 4th.
It seems like the further I get into this pregnancy I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. The guy that I got pregnant by happens to be a drug addict, an alcoholic, and is abusive (yes, I know I made a bad decision by sleeping with him, but that's done and over with...) He found out I was pregnant through a few of my friends and asked if it was his. I said no just because I didn't want all of that in my child's life. I'm just not sure that I should have kept it from him. I do plan on telling my kid who his father is and if he wants to meet him later on in life then, by all means go ahead.
I have a boyfriend that is very supportive and plans on helping me out even though it isn't his child. But I don't exactly want my kid to think that AJ is his father only to find out he really isn't.
So am I wrong for not telling him or am I doing something decent by doing what I think will be best for my child?

I think you should have told him. But, also tell him that you don't want him to be around the baby if he is going to be using drugs and stuff like that. They both have the right to know....CONGRATS btw!

i agree with what you did.. and one day if his real father cleans up then you can tell him that it is really his kid.. some addicts will steal their baby from their partners.. so i think you are doing the right thing..and its ok if your kid thinks that your boyfriend is his father..just dont let your boyfriend sign the birth certificate if it bothers you about the whole daddy thing..

I'm sure a lot of girls are going to say that you made the wrong decision,but honeslty I would have done the same thing.

If he is addicted to drugs and alcohol then he has no business in beinga part of your child's life. Even if he tries to you can get a court ordered drug test.

Good luck with everything mama.

well you gotta do what is best for you and the baby.....If your boyfriend knows the baby ain't his then you'll be ok you'll just have to explain to your baby when the time comes what really happen but you can always teach him to say "AJ" instead of daddy

I would say that unless bd is in the picuture i wouldnt say anything till the child is old enough to understand. I mean it will have to come out sooner or later but really i wouldnt say anything till they are 6 or 7 just IMO. Cause i know for my best friend she didnt find out she was adopted till she was a teen and she has alot of resentment because of it.

Well if he wasn't a druggie & stuff I would say yes but since he is I don't really know what to say! I think that if you did tell him and he did want to have contact that you could tell him that the visits would have to be supervised because of his problems. I do believe you can make them supervised if you feel your baby could become endangered!

Quoting Mindy 2008:“ Well if he wasn't a druggie & stuff I would say yes but since he is I don't really know what to say! ... [snip!] ... be supervised because of his problems. I do believe you can make them supervised if you feel your baby could become endangered!”

I don't think they would allow him to see the baby if he was on drugs.

I'm just scared that if I tell him during all of this and even when my child is little he's going to try something. I just don't want to wind up with my child being taken away from me because his dad took him or something. More than likely that wouldn't happen but it's still a possibility and it scares me. I don't want my kid to be around someone that can't even take care of himself let alone a child.
I would say I'd try to tell him after the baby is born and do supervised visits, but after the first of the year I'm moving to Georgia and I'd rather just have no contact with him at all.
Like I said I plan on telling my kid but only when I feel that he's ready for it, or if he asks me. But then again that depends on his age and everything else.

Thanks for the responses so far.

Quoting BrittanyL.:“ I'm just scared that if I tell him during all of this and even when my child is little he's going to ... [snip!] ... ready for it, or if he asks me. But then again that depends on his age and everything else. Thanks for the responses so far.”

Honestly, don't tell him. (That's what I would do)

I wouldn't want him ANYWHERE near my child if he was all drugged up and what not. And when your child gets older you can tell him who his dad is and where to find him (if you still know).