My daughter being bitten

I have a situation and I need advice. My daughter is 21 months old and in daycare. They moved my daughter from the 1 year old class into the 2 year old class because she was not being challenged enough and all she did was cry because she could not communicate with the other childern. Since being moved up she is a totally diffrent little girl. She does not cry when she has to go to school and is a pleasure at home. Here is the problem. In the past week she has been bitten by the same child 3 times. Not only has the bites been hard enough to leave red marks but the are also leaving nasty bruses. I have learned that this child is a "biter" and that in one day the teacher had to write 3 other incident reports besides the one for my daughter that involved this child biting. Now she asks me to make this child stop and there is nothing that I can do but tell her to tell the teacher. I feel completly helpless in this situation because I really like the school and I know that she enjoys it also (well besides the biting), but what can I do? I have voiced my concerns and I know that the only thing that they as a daycare can do is let this childs parent be aware of what is going on but, why does my child have to continuously suffer because this parent canot put a stop to this behavior. When I voiced my concern to the daycare they suggested that I move my daughter back into the class where she cried all they time. Why punish my child for anothers violent behavior?
Please can someone feel what I am going through? HELP!!!!

When I was little there was a little boy who pulled my hair the second I walked in and all day (he took chunks out)...finally the director told me to pull his back...and he never touched me again  . Unfortunately, I don't know if an eye for an eye is the real solution.  

I work at a daycare center, and well I understand biting happens it only takes one second while you are changing another diaperor have your back turn and it just happens! but to me it sounds like they are WAY past the point that they should have a "shadow" for this biter... That is someone who does one on one with this child and trys to correct and stop the biting before it happens, and they should have by now had a meeting with the childs parents and put them on a notice sayin if it doesnt stop the biter will have to be removed from the center.

Talk to your childs teacher and see if it is an option to have a shadow for the child that is biting

I have seen chlidren who get bitten start biting in self defense, and then they just start to bite everyone... And it really isnt a good situation!

i used to work at a daycare. the teachers are being honest, it isnt anything they can do besides tell the parent and then maybe put the kid in time out..... its up tp the director to do something about it

My son was bitten in his daycare the sitter told his mother and they both disiplined the toddler. They took his favorite toy away or something and he never did it again. Hopefully there is a good consequence system they have.

Quoting april-manning:“ I have a situation and I need advice. My daughter is 21 months old and in daycare. They moved my daughter ... [snip!] ... all they time. Why punish my child for anothers violent behavior? Please can someone feel what I am going through? HELP!!!!”

My BF aunt watched my 2 year old since she was about 10 months, and I just recently stopped taking her there. A little boy also being babysat there was always hurting Mikayla, it wouldn't stop. I couldn't send her there anymore after she woke up one night crying, half asleep, saying he poked her in the eye and pushed her. I was furious!!! I could not send her back. So now I take her to my moms or his mom or my sister will watch her. O it is hard and not so convienent, but she hated going there. She will start pre school in the fall and I was told if a child exhibits a constant behavior problem, the child will be asked to leave the center. Why is this not being done where you guys go? Maybe complain more or get the state involved, hey if we don't stick up for our children, who will?!!?

Quoting *Kate* 2 weeks left!:“ I work at a daycare center, and well I understand biting happens it only takes one second while you are ... [snip!] ... who get bitten start biting in self defense, and then they just start to bite everyone... And it really isnt a good situation!”

I agree if it is happening this often with the OP's daughter Im sure there are past incidients with other kids. They need to watch this little girl much more or put her in with older kids... then maybe she will be too afraid to bite. But no reason they should tell you to move your daughter back where she hated it.

My daughter is also 21 mos. and she is unfortunately going through a pushing & grabbing phase. We are working on her at home to stop this behavior. However, I know for a fact that she learned the behavior at daycare from some of the other kids... (for us, besides the germ-sharing, has been the worse part of having her there.. she learns all behaviors, positive and negative)... I agree with the other posters that say to talk to the director. There has to be a system in place to deal with this (& other) behaviors... As much as this child needs to learn proper behavior, your child deserves to be safe there. Tell the director that you need some assurance that this situation is being rectified in the fastest way possible...

i have said something to them and they say that they have notified the parent about the childs behavior and still there is nothing happening

Quoting *Kate* 2 weeks left!:“ I work at a daycare center, and well I understand biting happens it only takes one second while you are ... [snip!] ... who get bitten start biting in self defense, and then they just start to bite everyone... And it really isnt a good situation!”

When I voiced my concern on Wednesday they told me that they were going to have someone shadow the child. Now granted she was not bitten today but whos not to say that it will not happen next week.. I also thought that it was procedureal that if a child has a constant habit of bitting, pinching or other acts of this nature that the parents would be asked to not have the child return due to the behavior but I guess that applies for some and not others

Quoting april-manning:“ i have said something to them and they say that they have notified the parent about the childs behavior and still there is nothing happening”

They should really be doing something more...

If not I would say look into different child care if at all possible!

that is what i am dreading

Quoting april-manning:“ i have said something to them and they say that they have notified the parent about the childs behavior and still there is nothing happening”

Because kids go through phases, I do appreciate the opportunity to work with my child to teach her what is and what is not appropriate. However, there has to be a "next step" if there is no change in the child's behavior. I might try to find out who the other kids are, who were bitten. Get in touch with their parents and join together... There is more power in numbers. If the director is being apprehensive about making a decision.... You can quite bluntly tell her, it either the biter or all of us... It's a shame that you have to do that, but if you like the place, it may be the only way....

that is a good idea b/c i know that there were 3 other instanced withthis child in one day and it was not all with y daughter

Quoting LL H:“ Because kids go through phases, I do appreciate the opportunity to work with my child to teach her what ... [snip!] ... either the biter or all of us... It's a shame that you have to do that, but if you like the place, it may be the only way....”

I agree because if you and other parents threaten to pull your children, that is a lot of tuition lost... But if they cant get the biter to stop and they have to ask that child to leave it would be only one tuition... (I know its not the best way to look at it, but the owner or director will see it that way.)