Expecting/had a Boy?-- Humor

This was passed on to me at my first son's baby shower. I hope you get a giggle or two out of it  
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX...

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2) If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
5) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6) The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7) When you hear the toilet flush, and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
  Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old boy.
11) 'Play-doh' and 'microwave' should not be used in the same sentence.
12) Super glue is forever.
13) No matter how much Jell-O you put in the swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15) VCR's do not eject, "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
1  You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19) Always look in the oven before you turn it on: plastic toys do not like ovens.
20) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
21) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24) 80% of men who read this will try mixing Clorox and brake fluid.

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth-control.


Enjoy, all!
T

oh my the joys of little boys....Can't wait   lol

LOL, that is too cute! Can't wait for my lil guy!!! This gives me something to look forward to!  

That is so cute!!! I grew up with three brothers and I know I am in for it with my lil man!!

Tawny wrote: This was passed on to me at my first son's baby shower. I hope you get a giggle or two out of it  
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX...

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2) If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
5) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6) The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7) When you hear the toilet flush, and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
  Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old boy.
11) 'Play-doh' and 'microwave' should not be used in the same sentence.
12) Super glue is forever.
13) No matter how much Jell-O you put in the swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15) VCR's do not eject, "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
1  You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19) Always look in the oven before you turn it on: plastic toys do not like ovens.
20) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
21) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24) 80% of men who read this will try mixing Clorox and brake fluid.

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth-control.


Enjoy, all!
T

OMG MY GUY HURTS!!!!! I CANT STOP THINKING " dont show this to casey cuz he will try the bleach and brake fluid"

haha i've seen that before. but no matter how many times you read it, its still funny, lol