Stillborn Birth on July 5th

My dearest son, Timothy Michael Ho.
It was July 5th that I had a doctor's appointment. I mentioned to her that I felt a decrease in movement for several days. She told me that it was normal and to not worry because as babies get bigger, they have no room to kick. But how could this be true if he was only 31 weeks and 4 days? She searched for the heartbeat and there was none. She kept on searching for three minutes and still there was none. I was in pain. I wanted to cry. I was worried. What could have gone wrong with my baby?

She sent me to labor and delivery. When I got there, the nurses looked for my son's heartbeat. There was none! The obgyn came and he used the ultrasound to look for the heartbeat and body movements. There was none.

I had to go into labor. They induced me and I delivered at 11:50 PM to a baby boy who was 3.3 lbs and 15.5 inches long. He was beautiful just like his father. I miss him so much. I blame myself daily. I have dreams and have trouble sleeping. I think of him endlessly. I don't know the reason for his death. The doctor's say that it's unexplained. Everything seemed normal. I live each day crying. I wonder how can I go on?

I am so sorry... you are in my thoughts and prayers!

thats so sad. im so sorry  

I'm so sorry hun! It is in no way your fault. Things happen...it's sad but true. There is no reason to blame yourself, as hard as I'm sure it is.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

wow... i'm so sorry.. thats just so sad and scary.. I wonder what happened..

i am so sorry hun. just take things one day at a time. grieve how you feel necessary, and take you time with it. people are always trying to rush the healing heart, and it doesnt help one bit. keep family and friends close to you.

Oh my I am so very sorry for your loss.

I am soo sorry .

Im sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.

thats so so sad. im so sorry for your loss!

Quoting swt_mommy:“ My dearest son, Timothy Michael Ho. It was July 5th that I had a doctor's appointment. I mentioned ... [snip!] ... his death. The doctor's say that it's unexplained. Everything seemed normal. I live each day crying. I wonder how can I go on?”

Im soooooooooo sorry to hear what happen to your'e baby tears and prayers for you

I am so sorry to hear about this. My sister had a stillborn at 36 weeks and it was due to an umbilical accident. i am soo sorry for your loss

You cannot, even you though you still will, blame yourself. I am truely shaken by your story, not that it helps you in any way, but please know that many are thinking of you and your family at this time. But please, please don't blame yourself. There is absolutely nothing you did wrong.

I am truly sorry for your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

I am so sorry. Just reading that made me cry. I worry about that everyday. It happens to the best people and they never seem to be able to explain why. Just know that you will get through this and everything will be ok one day. It's ok o be sad and grieve, don't feel guilty. I really am so sorry.