I feel like I've jinxed myself... hold me, please.

I keep thinking about bad things that could happen to my baby. I am not and never have been an optimist per say. I am CONSTANTLY thinking about how he might be born with problems caused by the anti-depressant that I have been taking. I am in the process of weaning off of it... but the damage could have already been done.

The internet is truly my enemy! Everyday I am telling my husband about something else that I read... Some new study that says something could be wrong with our baby because of this stupid medicine that I have taken for years and am now addicted to. He tells me that our baby is perfect and to stop reading bad stuff.

Last night I read that women who take Zoloft after the 20th week of pregnancy are six times more likely to have a baby with Primary Pulmonary Hypertension. I also read that anti-depressants double to risk of having a stillborn. I was on the phone with my mom today, telling her about that, and she told me to stop because I was scaring her. I actually said the words, "So he'll either be stillborn or totally messed up." After I said it, I couldn't believe that I had even thought such a thing. I'm fucking horrible! He's in my belly listening to me say all of this stuff about him! What the hell is wrong with me?

Now I'm scared that I have jinxed myself. Maybe he was fine, but because I have been reading all of this and thinking about it non-stop, I have somehow caused something to be wrong with him.

Jesus! I am acting and thinking so irrationally. I hate these hormones.

I guess I'm just looking for a little moral support... encouragement? Did anybody else have horrible thoughts like this while they were pregnant?  

If your dr kept prescribing you Zoloft then the benefits must have outweighed the risk, you should stop thinking negative and looking up things like that.

I can't say that it's NORMAL, but when I was pregnant, if I didn't feel my son move I assumed something was wrong, and I would wonder if he was dead... I think you go through alot when your pregnant especially if this is your first pregnancy. I'm sure you'll be alright.

It hard for us moms not to worry about our babies. But the more you worry the more you stress yourself out and you along with everyone else know that's not a good thing. And another thing that will help you relax a little is for you to stop looking up all this stuff and reading it because that will cause alot of stress for you and make you worry even more. I did that when i was pregnant with my son and i would stay up for nights not able to sleep because of some thingsi read. Since im pregnant again i try my hardest not to worry about every little thing. As long as your feeling movement you are going to be ok. And the anti-depressant thing isnt always correct. It like a one in a million chance so you dont have to worry about it. <---( that it would happen to your baby)

Did you know that Post partum depression can start before the baby is born? Have you told your Dr. about these thoughts and feelings? I hope that your worrying has been unneccessary and you have the most beautiful baby! Good luck sweety and stop reading things on the net   Less than half is usually true...the rest pure BS! *HUGS*

It's like I'm afraid that if I even think these bad things... they will happen.
Oh dear.

Thanks for the replies ladies.

Quoting (Kaila):“ If your dr kept prescribing you Zoloft then the benefits must have outweighed the risk, you should stop thinking negative and looking up things like that.”

I agree, i actually talked to my doc about htis and he said it's better to take the drugs usually and that he felt completely comfortable prescribign them. I never did take them though. He also specifically said tha tbeing afraid it would hurt hte baby was just silly.

Quoting stephanie 8.28.8:“ It's like I'm afraid that if I even think these bad things... they will happen. Oh dear. Thanks for the replies ladies.”

You thinking these things wont happen and i know you know that but your just worried and i dont blame you but try and take it easy while you can before you have that bundle of joy here because you wont sleep for a while after he's born lol

Quoting Gabes Mommy  :“ It hard for us moms not to worry about our babies. But the more you worry the more you stress yourself ... [snip!] ... correct. It like a one in a million chance so you dont have to worry about it. <---( that it would happen to your baby)”

I am not going to read any more!!! NONE! I promise   lol

Quoting 1st_Time_Mama!:“ Did you know that Post partum depression can start before the baby is born? Have you told your Dr. about ... [snip!] ... baby! Good luck sweety and stop reading things on the net   Less than half is usually true...the rest pure BS! *HUGS*”

I didn't know that. I'm surprised I didn't happen upon that bit of information while I was reading so much other crap. lmao.
My next appointment is tomorrow. I have written down all of the bad crap that I have been thinking about. I am going to tell her allllll about it.

Thank you for the hugs    

Quoting Gabes Mommy  :“ You thinking these things wont happen and i know you know that but your just worried and i dont blame ... [snip!] ... and take it easy while you can before you have that bundle of joy here because you wont sleep for a while after he's born lol”

Thank you  

Quoting stephanie 8.28.8:“ It's like I'm afraid that if I even think these bad things... they will happen. Oh dear. Thanks for the replies ladies.”

Understandable. But also remember that these websites are also not reliable most of the time. I'm pretty sure you're little guy is doing great  

Quoting 1st_Time_Mama!:“ Did you know that Post partum depression can start before the baby is born? Have you told your Dr. about ... [snip!] ... baby! Good luck sweety and stop reading things on the net   Less than half is usually true...the rest pure BS! *HUGS*”

Hey, you're due on my bday