Is it a woman's fantasy?

I've been with him for almost 7 years. After Kailey was born (8 months ago) we kind of forgot about ourselves. I live with him and I am currently looking for an apartment to move out. I met him online, I was 18 and he was 23. I was super chubby and honestly, I didn't love myself. He didn't really care about me when he met me but I insisted. He was my first so I didn't care about anything or anyone but him. Now, I'm 24 and I lost over 100 lbs. I want him to treat me as if he cares, to be sweet and romantic, to make me feel worth it, to be passionate, but he's just a very cold person, doesn't know how to express his feelings. I can't make him change, so I've given up. Sex is just bad now, if we have any at all. If we do, he only cares about himself. We fight and argue all of the time. I came to the conclusion that we need "time-apart", so I'm looking for my own place. I remember back in the day the thought of me and him being apart would crush me and now I don't seem to feel anything when I think about that.

I dont want to sound selfish, but I do want to be happy. My mother says that reality is there is not many guys that are sweet and passionate and romantic, that I should accept him the way he is and recognize the things he does that prove that he loves me. She also said that we should see a psychologist. I know what I can do but I think I'm just too tired to try. I dont even know if I love him anymore. How do you know? Am I being selfish? Is there such a thing as a "romantic" guy? Is there such thing, or is it a fantasy that all us woman want and dream about?

It is so hard to know. I am married (forover two years)to my high school sweetheart and bf. We have been together since we were 16 (we're 23 now) and are eachothers first too. I can honestly say I love him more and more with passing time. He is still a romantic and always puts me first. I mean we do fight sometime but never over any deal breakers. I guess when it's right it's right? We were both just lucky enough to find eachother early in life. Good luck! Maybe talking to a shrink wouldn't be a bad idea, it couldn't hurt!

I think you're awesome for several reasons. One, realizing you deserve a good man who loves you and will care for you. Two, for not being afraid to go it alone and move out. Three, for being so self-aware and realizing that you gave into a bad situation because of poor self esteeem and digging yourself out of it by your own strength. Finally, for losing all that weight!

Good men do exist. I believe that too many people who say they don't have spent their lives settling for Mr. Good Enough For Right Now instead of Mr. Right. They give in because someone is convenient, not because he's good enough. If you don't know you love him, that's your answer. You either do or don't and if you did, you'd know. And the question is never really who we love- it's who loves us and you deserve to be with someone who wants you and nurtures you and pushes you up instead of bringing you down. All good things!

It depends on how you feel about it, I think every woman deserves a man that will cherish her but not all men are like that! If he is willing to get some help to try and be the man you need, I think I would give him another chance, but he would have to go to a counselor and learn how to be an affectionate loving man, and if he doesn't step up then go ahead and move on you deserve to be happy!

Sweetie, there are such guys out there. If he doesn't make you happy then it's best to go before it turns into pure resentment. Be happy that he gave you a beautiful child, and take your space. If he is willing to show you how much he loves you once your gone, he will try to bring you back. You are not being selfish. When you fall in love with someone, you just know. There's no light at the end of the tunnel saying "hey you've reached the "falling in love" door." It's the same way for falling out of love. However, it's preventable unlike falling in love. From experience Love is not enough, it takes so much more. You have to work for it, both of you do regardless of how one acts before you two got together. If he is not willing to show his love by doing something as simple as bringing home some flowers or cooking you a nice dinner then how do you know if there is any meaning behind those three simple words? You don't and he cannot expect you to.

Time apart seems to be in need for the two of you.

If you need anything you can always PM me, I've been through this I've written letters and I've received them. I hope everything works out for you.

Quoting DavesGordiz:“ I've been with him for almost 7 years. After Kailey was born (8 months ago) we kind of forgot about ourselves. ... [snip!] ... Is there such a thing as a "romantic" guy? Is there such thing, or is it a fantasy that all us woman want and dream about?”

Oh, those men exist. Just never let yourself settle until you find one. I was told all my life that I would never find a man like my husband. But I found him, I just went through a lot of heartache and bad relationships to get there. Geez, it's bringing tears to my eyes to think about this right now.

Good men exist, I married one  If you're not sure you love him, than you probably dont. Definately be proud of yourself though, you sound like a very strong woman