Since it's been five years since I've been here

Okay not really....but it's been several months. Between life and two jobs...I don't stop

Hope everything is well with everybody. I want an update on all of you vets...with pictures.


Sera is walking! Well...running. She has been for about a month. She can say so many words and is extremely bright. She cracks me up every day.

But I have a question....Sera is full on into temper tantrum mode. If she gets into something she is not supposed to be in and I tell her no, she screams NO NO NO NO! at me and literally throws herself on the floor and screams and hits her head on the floor and throws her arms around and kicks.



Please please tell me how to deal with this. I've tried redirection, positive reinforcement, ignoring her...nothing works!

At any rate...here are some new pics!




















Anyways, thanks for looking....and hopefully I'll get some help!

Glad to see you are back! Sera is getting SO big! She is beautiful mama!

Cute pictures! I love your hair.

Aww she's so cute. My daughter is a month younger than yours and I definately know what you mean about the temper tantrum thing. Samantha likes to get into EVERYTHING so I would also like to hear what advice the other ladies have. I keep my house pretty clean and clutter free so for now I have found the easiest thing to do is just childproof and try and distract her. I pretty much have everything she's not supposed to get into put up or locked away in a cabinet with a baby lock on it. I just try and be firm with her. If she gets into something she's not supposed to, I remove the item and offer her something else. Sometimes she will throw a little fit, but usually I can distract her by moving her to another room and showing her one of her favorite toys or something.

My oldest son(he'salmost 4)did the same thing and still does from time to time. I find that if I go to him and try to console him and let him know that I understand that he is mad/angry/frustrated and reassure him that I love him and than I try to get him to express his feelings through words, rather than screaming. And once he has calmed down I explain to him why I said no, or why he couldn't do something.... It was the only thing that worked for me. Everything else I tried didn't work. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Quoting Kelteyona:“ My oldest son(he'salmost 4)did the same thing and still does from time to time. I find that if I go to ... [snip!] ... do something.... It was the only thing that worked for me. Everything else I tried didn't work. I hope this helps. Good luck!

this is what i was going to say.

smart babies that get thwarted become extremely frustrated not only b/c they're not getting what they want but b/c they still lack the tools to express themselves which leads to this downward spiral of emotions that end in a hard core tantrum.

providing feedback to them in simple terms that you undestand their frustration -- repeated gently, clearly, and calmly -- after you've gained their attention facilitates their need to be undestood b/c they lack the ability to verbally communicate their desires and frustration.

a lot of people will tell you to just ignore it -- and i don't think that's always bad advice if they've developed tantrums as a tactic after a certain age, but if you start in on handling tantrums early w/ calm, loving guidance that allows them to know their frustration is understood in clear simple terms, you relieve a lot very frustrating feeling of powerlessness and confusion (they know what they feel but they don't know how to express it and the frustration and resulting anger just grows in magnitude w/out another avenue to communicate it) and starts empowering them by presenting them w/ words that serve as an alternative to pure emotional displays.

nice to see you on here leslie, your little girl's a stunnah!

Quoting Mara:“ this is what i was going to say. smart babies that get thwarted become extremely frustrated not only ... [snip!] ... words that serve as an alternative to pure emotional displays. nice to see you on here leslie, your little girl's a stunnah!”

Thank you Mara! You are one of the few people who agrees with me and understands what I was saying. My family and my fiances family would always tell me to ignore Ravyn when he had a temper tantrum, but I would never listen to them and just do things my way because my way actually worked. They would always critize Alex and I for dealing with Ravyns tantrums the way we did, and even though they can see that it has worked, they won't admit it because they are stuborn and don't want to admit that they were wrong! Lol Ohwell. I know my children best and they will just have to deal with that.  

Hey Les...miss you much!! Sera is beautiful!

All of my children have gone through the 'tantrum' stage (Issy is still in it) and it is not easy to deal with. Issy often throws herself on the floor if I tell her no or if she has something that she can't have- I ask her for it, take it, and say thank you- but I still get the screaming fit. I always tell her that what she was doing, touching, or what she had could hurt her. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it don't. It is a phase she will get over but it may take a while!!

XOXOXO

Quoting Kelteyona:“ Thank you Mara! You are one of the few people who agrees with me and understands what I was saying. ... [snip!] ... and don't want to admit that they were wrong! Lol Ohwell. I know my children best and they will just have to deal with that.  ”

it's absurd to me the way so many adults will interpret the bad behavior of toddlers and young children as if it is willed and pre-meditated behavior used to manipulate and annoy the adults around them... what we should be doing is trying to understand the child in the context of their still-developing brain, emotions, language, and so on.

i gained a lot of personal insight into toddlers by moving to another country and having to learn another language.

as an adult it's frustrating enough-- screwing w/ your sense of self and actually made me quite shy (which i am not naturally) b/c i knew and felt my inadequacy at communicating on their terms.

now, take that and then strip yourself of your first language-- which allows you to understand your own feelings, desires, and other aspects of yourself in your head, and you've got pure emotions running amuck ... not to mention the struggle to constantly understand the world around you ... and not being allowed to get what you want when you want it, much less communicate to those who could get it for you.

i have a LOT of sympathy for the extremely frustrating world of toddlers.

Quoting Mara:“ it's absurd to me the way so many adults will interpret the bad behavior of toddlers and young children ... [snip!] ... less communicate to those who could get it for you. i have a LOT of sympathy for the extremely frustrating world of toddlers.”

I agree completely. I feel sorry for toddlers too. It breaks my heart whenever I am walking through the grocery store and Isee a 2 year old throwing a tantrum and the mother yells at the kid or just walks away and pretends that the child doesn't belong to her. It's very upsetting and it makes me want to rush over to the child and hug them...but with the way people are this day and age, if I did that I would probably be accused of trying to kidnap the child.

Thank you for all of the advice. I will take it to heart and try it! Thank you SO much

Quoting Leslie85:“ Thank you for all of the advice. I will take it to heart and try it! Thank you SO much”

You're very welcome!   Good luck!

sera is gorgeous!! Her hair is still so blonde! Love it! The pics are great!  

I wondered where you'd been!


Sera is freaken gorgeous & I LOVE the pics of the two of you together.

Quoting KRISTYlynne ♥:“ I wondered where you'd been! Sera is freaken gorgeous & I LOVE the pics of the two of you together.”

Yeahhhh

I moved. Got two jobs. Busy with the whole family thing. I'm only online now cuz I have the whole weekend off. w00t.


So how are you and Flowerpants?