Is it okay to hate my husband right now??

I seriously can't take this anymore we are married and have been together for way over a year and have lived at his fucking parents house for about 9 months and he keeps saying he is going to get a better job or get another one to get us a house...Well we have a baby coming in 3 months and he has said oh i will get a job and get us a house..well the fucker hasent done shit! And i have had about enough of it! We dont have any baby stuff besides clothes and we arnt having my shower till september! I am sooooo frustrated right now, i just dont know what to do!!!! Please ladies give me some advice before i lose my mind! Thats all we do is fight over him not doing SHIT!!! Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............*screams into the nearest pillow*   

Quoting *{Angie}*13 weeks left!:“ I seriously can't take this anymore we are married and have been together for way over a year and have ... [snip!] ... all we do is fight over him not doing SHIT!!! Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............*screams into the nearest pillow*   ”

I suggest the meat grinder.

Quoting ~(Breanna)~:“ I suggest the meat grinder.”

LOL....Uhh i hate men sometimes!

IF he hasn't done shit, why'd you marry him?

Quoting Matthew's Mommy. ♥:“ IF he hasn't done shit, why'd you marry him

Because i love him and i want to have faith in him but this kind of shit makes me not want to be with him

Sorry, I wasn't trying to come off as rude, I saw on your profile that you just got married 2 weeks ago... So if he hasn't done anything this whole time why marry him? That's what I meant for to come out.. lol

Quoting Matthew's Mommy. ♥:“ Sorry, I wasn't trying to come off as rude, I saw on your profile that you just got married 2 weeks ago... ... [snip!] ... married 2 weeks ago... So if he hasn't done anything this whole time why marry him? That's what I meant for to come out.. lol”

Oh its okay...I really dont know why, maybe because i want my daughter to have a family...I mean it pisses me off that he has all this time and hasent done anything, I just dont know if i should give him a date to get his shit straight...Any suggestions?

Quoting Matthew's Mommy. ♥:“ Sorry, I wasn't trying to come off as rude, I saw on your profile that you just got married 2 weeks ago... ... [snip!] ... married 2 weeks ago... So if he hasn't done anything this whole time why marry him? That's what I meant for to come out.. lol”

Oh its okay...I really dont know why, maybe because i want my daughter to have a family...I mean it pisses me off that he has all this time and hasent done anything, I just dont know if i should give him a date to get his shit straight...Any suggestions?

I had a boyfriend once who wouldn't work for shit. He would get an interview and never go because he would of failed a drug test... I eventually left him because I was the only one working and he spent all the money he did get on drugs. But anyways, maybe you should give him a date, and try to make him realize your baby will be HERE in 3 months... 3 months goes by alot faster than you think...

Quoting Matthew's Mommy. ♥:“ I had a boyfriend once who wouldn't work for shit. He would get an interview and never go because he ... [snip!] ... him a date, and try to make him realize your baby will be HERE in 3 months... 3 months goes by alot faster than you think...”

I try and get it through his fat fucking head and all he says is "what the fuck are you talking about i do shit" god i just want to slap the shit out of him

lol, there has to be some way for you to get through to him.

I would give it some time. You guys didn't get married for no reason, and I'm sure you are very much in love, and very stressed with all the new things happening. This happens to most newly married couples with a baby on the way, it's just everybody has different situations. Do not lose faith in your marriage or your husband. You guys CAN do this!! That's the problem these days many people give up too easily. Divorce rate soars!! It's ridiculous. Remember your marriage vows and stick it out as hard as it gets, it can be much worse, trust me. Marriage isn't easy, but think of your best friendship and how long it took you to get to know that person and the bumps you had to go through, but you're still here right? Even family, you learned to live with them and it took many many years t get to tknow them and get as close as you are, and it will take that same effort in your marriage. There will be bigger bumps down the road and this will help you learn to deal with those and persevere in handling the situations. Trust me my husband and I are newly married as of April last year and we've had some definite I want to knock you all the way to Australia and beyond arguments about stuff like this, big and little things, but we resolve quickly and we sure know how to push each others buttons. But when we get through what we are going through we see how ridiculous all of it was and forgive one another.
Men can be very self focused and selfish naturally and not to justify their behavior, but they take time to learn to put others first above their own independence. I hate it, it sucks, trust me my husband had to find a job while I was pregnant because he got laid off and got depressed, and played computer games for 6 months while I still worked. I couldn't stand it. Guilt tripping doesn't work, Telling them everything that's wrong with them doesn't work. As selfish as he is acting, sometimes it takes guys time to get used to the fact that they have this new responsibility, and it sucks, but they do kick into gear eventually. Try to find the bigger deeop rooted issue. Why is he not looking, sitting around? I would definitely express to him how it is affecting you, instead of saying what is worng with him all the time. I understand you are frustrated, and I would be too, but you still need to guide him into understanding what his new role is. He may understand more of the impact his behavior is having on you, especially while you are pregnant. You are too hyped up you need to relax not be stressed out. Not good for baby, baby can hear everything going on and it can affect him later in life. Try to say things like "I feel...like I am carrying all the burdens on my shoulders, because I am not sure what actions you are going to take next. I feel like I do everything. It would help me out if you would help mewith this...(be specific--men need this). OR "I feel overwhelmed and frustrated because, (this isn't done, and that, etc..., I would appreciate it, or it would really help me out if youcould..." Even though maybe alot of it is his fault and you've been trying to work with him, tearing him down will not help. Pointing out all his wrongs will not help. Pointing out howhis actions areaffecting you and the baby (don't guilt trip him--it will get old and not work) will make him think, it will make him see how his behavior is having a negative affect on your relationship.tearing him down, or telling him everything that is wrong with him (Which sounds best and trust me I want to do it sometimes too) will only send him into depression, or make him not want to do things because what's the point,he does everything wrong anyway and that's always what you will think of him.That's what they think. Men think weirdly. I tell you they are from pluto. Far enough away!! ha ha When we tell them all the things they are doingwrong, they hear that they are a failure, they can't do anything right, they are worthless, I mean they hear what we say and what we mean, but this is how they interpret it. Try guiding him, or helping him look for a job if you haven't yet.Take special note of things he likes to do or enjoys, and inquire about applicationsat places of interest that you know he would like as well as regular places so he can try to get anything at least. He doesn't have to stay in a job he doesn't like forever. He just needs to bring the income to help support. He can get one, make some cash and look for a different job he wants at the same time. Then when he gets it quit the one he doesn't like. Be creative and show that he does have your support and he might start changing. Sometimes men are big babies and want some help, but won't admit it. That's where they need us, and of course most will never admit it, but we know it as women and don't shove it in his face either. Keep it your own secret between us women. It isn't or may not seem fair that yu have to help me when he is completely healthy and able to do it him self, but that's also what marriage is all about. Sometimes we need a push and right now he does. Hey I wish you all the best and when this works out you will either have a wonderful feeling that you were there for him and remained the bigger person by helping him when he was down, or lazy, and motivated him, or you will see that at least you tried on your part. I hope some of this helps. Hope to hear good things. I will pray for you guys ok. Take Care. Chantelle

Quoting Beachgrl3:“ I would give it some time. You guys didn't get married for no reason, and I'm sure you are very much ... [snip!] ... you tried on your part. I hope some of this helps. Hope to hear good things. I will pray for you guys ok. Take Care. Chantelle”

That is some really good advice. Lately I have been putting all my husbands faults on the table and he made me notice that the other. Your advice really helps me to realize that it isn't good for our marriage!!

I think it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do. You have made the biggest sacrifice of your life by making a beautiful baby girl. Being pregnant takes a toll on your body, mind and soul, and most men don't seem to give a crap about that. I know this may seem harsh, but I suggest you tell him that you don't need him to raise your daughter. Then stick to that! I am not saying you should divorce him or anything, but give him the reality that you are perfectly capable and willing to raise your daughter without him, if he so decides not take an active part in growing up. I see that you mentioned that you think you may have married him because you want your daughter to have a family? I got married when I was 17 for the same reason, and I found out down the road that I was able to teach my daughter what real family meant, whether or not her dad was around. Be as strong as you can, and put your foot down. At this point its do or die, and he needs to know that. Best of luck to you!

Quoting *{Angie}*13 weeks left!:“ I seriously can't take this anymore we are married and have been together for way over a year and have ... [snip!] ... all we do is fight over him not doing SHIT!!! Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............*screams into the nearest pillow*   ”

I hate husband. He has abandon me and my boys. I hate him. Be Honest I really don't care what happen to him at all. None of my concern.