My 8 year old...He's acting different...

OK, so I have an 8 year old son. Since I only have one sibling, and he lives in Washington, his kids don't live here. So between myself and my brother, my son is the only grandchild my parents have that is here in Michigan. My husband has no biological kids of his own, but has been with my son since he was a year old. His family has fully accepted him as thier own, just as my husband has. So since he is basically the only grandchild on my husband's side and the only grandchild that lives here on my side, he gets allllll the attention!

My son has always been very affectionate. He's always been around people who hug and kiss and tell one another we love one another on the daily basis. So he has always been known to hug or kiss us and tell he loves us unprompted all his life. But lately, the closer it gets to when my baby is going to be born, he's been increasingly more affectionate, more than usual. Not that I mind. I mean because when he gets to be a teen, he'll probably think it's "uncool" to kiss mommy all the time so I love that he's so affectionate now.

But I am wondering if he is getting to be more and more affectionate because the baby is coming and he feels like he needs to get all the affection from us that he can before she gets here, because maybe he feels like he won't get as much love and attention when she's born. I mean, he's been much more affectionate with EVERYONE, moreso with me and my husband, but also with my mom and dad, my MIL, SIL, BIL who live in Ohio. He wants to call them all the time now, whereas before, he did ask to call them, but not everyday like he does now.

What do you all think is going on? I don't want him to feel like we're going to love him any less when the new baby arrives.

When my son Aidan was born my oldest was 6. He got allllllll the attention for 6 yrs especailly since he's the first granchild on my side and my mother helped me alot with him because my husband worked alot and also i was really young. Anyway Eric acted out a little but my husband and I try to spend extra time with him after our other children got to bed. We also explained things to him that now they are here they need attention to but that doesnt mean i love him any less. We got him into sports and stuff he likes to keep him busy. It really seems to help so maybe you can try that and see if works....It helped us.  

At 8, you can probably sit down with him and have a talk about the baby. Ask him how he feels about it, and make sure to tell him to be honest and that you wont be mad (and make sure you dont get mad like you promised!)

If he admits to being a little wary, try the big boy talk. Tell him you love him, and really need his help when the baby comes. (even if you don't, it will make him feel important) Tell him you can't do it without him, and he's going to be a little more important now that he's a big brother.

He gets to teach the baby to ride a bike, and play games.

Return every ounce of love ant affection you can. Who knows, maybe hes just excited and wants to be close to the baby.

I hope it helps, but I don't have an 8 year old so I could be wrong. Thats just what my parents did when I was 6and my brother came along. Mom taught me how to ba mini mommy. I gave him baths, and fed him, and helped change diapers. It made me feel important.

Thanks ladies. These are both great ideas, esp. from Jyn D'lere...I mean he knows the baby is coming (of course) and he knows he's going to be a big brother and all. But I've never quite put it to him that way. I didn tell him that he could help with the baby because he asked if he would be able to. I do return his affection though. He even comes and kisses me in my sleep. Of course I wake up when he jumps on my bed but I'll keep my eyes closed because he gets sad when he thinks he's disturbed me.

Yeah, he's probably thinking he won't get all the attention he's used to when the baby arrives. Mine has already done the "you won't love me anymore" thing. I've already planned to have just her and I days where we go and do stuff with just us.

Quoting rabidmommy:“ Yeah, he's probably thinking he won't get all the attention he's used to when the baby arrives. Mine ... [snip!] ... the "you won't love me anymore" thing. I've already planned to have just her and I days where we go and do stuff with just us.”

Good idea.

My son is 6 and he's been acting a fool here lately. Affection would be a welcome item here, he's been disrepectful and rude. Disobedient oh goodness help me now. We had a little talk last night and may have gotten through a little of it. I think it has a lot to do with the attention and my DH has been telling him to help me (he's out of town) so he is trying to make him feel strong man of the house and I think it's just too much on him. Time will tell, I'll definately keep watching this post though!

my 8yr old daughter straight up told me i don't have much time so i gotta get all the attention before the baby gets here. yesterday morning she asked if my son could stay with his dad cause she's not ready. she's needs a few more years with me alone. other than that she's been pretty cool. she's never been the only child in the family. my twin sis has 5 kids and my older sis has 1. so there always kids around. she's just not use to shareing me. i don't trip off it. i try not to make a big deal out of it. cause if i make a big deal out of it then she'll think my love for her is really going to change. i would look at like this and u should tell your son this. i told my daughter that there is an 8 yr gap so that means she still has 8yr old girl needs and the baby will have baby boy needs. so she will still get all the attention she needs cause her needs are different then the baby. good thing about having the age gap. she thought she wasn't gonna get as much stuff. i had to tell her that shes 8 not a baby so she'll still get everything she wants. well almost. lol