i'm already feeling it

i'm sixteen and giving my baby up for adoption.
When i first got pregnant, i was so upset i wanted an abortion. i went as far as scheduling it and going in for the appointment, only to leave the clinic in tears. but i did NOT want this baby. i freaked. i set up another abortion appointment, this time i could be asleep when it happened, but i told my parents because it was going to be an over night procedure, and i didn't want to lie to them anymore. i went as far as getting medical coupons from the dhsh. but the day before my appointment, my parents told me we were going out for a family outing, and once i got in the car, they took me 1500 miles away.

while i was in california, i still made plans for an abortion, at this point i was in my second trimester and it was going to be a painful, disgusting procedure. but i had my mind made up. but then i was threatened, and blackmailed into keeping the pregnancy. i bought my own ticket (i was working as a parallegal secretary assistant) and flew home.

i rarely even refer to the baby as a baby. i always call it fetus. but lately in the past month i've realized that i do care. the couple that we chose to adopt the baby earlier on in the pregnancy just doesn't seem right or safe to me. and just last week i was hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends setting fireworks off, and it hit me. i want this baby. i'm giving it away because i don't want my boyfriend and my relationship to end. plus we're both not ready to have a kid. i'm not ready to let go of my childhood. but i have the resources and support. i know i could step up to the plate, but my boyfriend wouldn't. he has the best intentions but is still just a little boy.

i don't want this baby to grow up without a father like i did. i don't want to lose my childhood and the parties and my new apartment next year. but i love this baby and want it. it's like i have to choose between a baby and motherhood, over the remainder of my childhood, and the rest of my life wondering and hurting. i didn't even want this baby. i was forcedto have it, i have to go through nine months of pregnancy i didn't want, only to have to say goodbye once it comes.

i don't know how to cope or who to go to.  

Quoting oddish:“ i'm sixteen and giving my baby up for adoption. When i first got pregnant, i was so upset i wanted an ... [snip!] ... of pregnancy i didn't want, only to have to say goodbye once it comes. i don't know how to cope or who to go to.  ”

So if your parents made it so you could not have an abortion are they willing to help you until you can establish yourself? You need to continue school and make something of yourself so you can provide for your child. That is totally possible with their help. Some people do it with out any help. But, you really need to do some soul searching and see what it is that you really want.

Quoting oddish:“ i'm sixteen and giving my baby up for adoption. When i first got pregnant, i was so upset i wanted an ... [snip!] ... of pregnancy i didn't want, only to have to say goodbye once it comes. i don't know how to cope or who to go to.  ”

i'm wondering...what is more important to you? your baby or your ignorant boyfriend? (not to be mean about how he sounds or anything, he just sounds ignorant)...I would do whatever you feel is right. Have that baby if you want it. If you don't feel comfortable with the adoption; don't do it.

If you think you want to keep the baby and do not feel the adoptive parents you picked out are right for your child then keep your baby. It will be hard but if you feel its whats best then do it!You don't want to do something you will regret the rest of your life. It isn't your boyfriends decision its yours and I would chose my child over a guy anyday hands down.

It is not to late for you to keep your baby and as for the guy if you lay you pay if he was man enough to have sex with you an dget you pregnant then he should be man enough to step up to the plate same with you you felt old enough and adult enough to have intercourse you should deal with the consequences that comes with that I am not trying to be mean but I was 16 when I had my daughter and I wouldnt give up a second of it once I had her the parties and friedns just didnt matter she was all that mattered and still is getting pregnant is a choice you chose to get pregnant you should have to deal with what coems with it

First off, I give you props for not going through with an abortion. That's a huge step to take and I'm really glad you changed your mind.

And it is your baby. And if you're having second thoughts I'm sure your parents would understand and it's not too late to change your mind. Just give it your all and be the mom you can be.

Definate congrats on not having an abortion! Being a parent is scary, but wonderful! Once your baby is born you will feel the purest and truest love you have ever known.... No words can really describe it. You already have a mother's intuition about the couple who wants to adopt your baby, you'll have the same intuition when it comes to doing the right thing...Many Mom's raise their kids alone and make it just fine! There are a ton of options hun you just need to make the decision on what is right for you....Good luck and I am sure you'll make the right choice *hugs*

why not an open adoption w/another family?

thanks =]
i just feel really bad when i talk to my bf about it.

we both are agnostic and think with logic instead of religion, so when i introduced to him the theory of mother's intuition he immediately dismissed it.

and he's become friends with the adoptive parent too. he really likes that guy and doesn't sense anything. he tells me i'm jut being hrmonal, but idk. he might be right.

yeah the adoption is going to be an open adoption. thanks for everybody's support!

BIG ((((HUGS)))) TO YOU!!!!

It sounds like you have a VERY difficult choice to make. Congratulations on going to your parents and telling them what's going on.

If you decide to keep it will your parents be supportive of your decision? That always helps to have a support system in place. Maybe you can work it out so you can keep the baby with their assistance. Just realize that ultimately Baby is your responsibility.

The boyfriend thing is such a sticky situation. I'll just say this. Most people don't still go out with the guy they were with in highschool. He may seem like Mr. Wonderful now but sometimes, especially at your age, people grow apart.It may not seem like it now, but he may just be in your life for a season, not a lifetime. That still leaves you with a decision to make.

I don't really know what to say about the adoption option. Truthfully it seems like you already have made a decision against adoption. That's all good too, but be prepared to have to grow up a little sooner than you were ready to. You are already 17 right? Playtime was almost over anyway. Looks like you may be ready to start your adult life.

Here are some links that may possibly be useful. Best of luck to you, Honey! I hope you can find what you need.

Teen Pregnancy and Family Support Centers‎

Quoting oddish:“ i'm sixteen and giving my baby up for adoption. When i first got pregnant, i was so upset i wanted an ... [snip!] ... of pregnancy i didn't want, only to have to say goodbye once it comes. i don't know how to cope or who to go to.  ”

why the hell did you post this in S&L!!!!! All you talk about is having an abortion and not wanting it....... Grow up and stop been so selfish..... Your right in giving the baby up for adoption you should have posted this in a different forum!

Quoting Mumma Karrin:“ why the hell did you post this in S&L!!!!! All you talk about is having an abortion and not wanting ... [snip!] ... and stop been so selfish..... Your right in giving the baby up for adoption you should have posted this in a different forum!”

Could it be she is suffering on the inside?

OP: Good luck in whatever you decide to do, no matter what happens you will have support from someone. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter, and its been the happiest time of my life. Pm me if you ever want to talk.

Quoting Mommy loves both of you:“ Could it be she is suffering on the inside? OP: Good luck in whatever you decide to do, no matter what ... [snip!] ... I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter, and its been the happiest time of my life. Pm me if you ever want to talk.”

I can see your point that she is prolly suffering on the inside but I see the other persons point as well. Why is this in s&l? The reason I am sure she is wondering this is because so many of us lost our children and here she is talking about abortion and adoption. I understand the suffering part and the being offended part. Really this might be the only place she can let out her mixed emotions. I personally am not offended but other might be just because of her want of the abortion but hey everyone is intitles to their own beliefs.

OP- If you want to keep the baby but a relationships that might end cuz of it is stopping you then I say keep it. If your bf is going to leave you because you kept your child (a child u made together) then there is no love in your relationship. My husband was going to take on a child that we were going to adopt but she m/c. Love is unconditional and if a baby being born breaks you up it wasnt meant to be.

Quoting oddish:“ i'm sixteen and giving my baby up for adoption. When i first got pregnant, i was so upset i wanted an ... [snip!] ... of pregnancy i didn't want, only to have to say goodbye once it comes. i don't know how to cope or who to go to.  ”

I am sorry i dont mean to be rude but your the one who let your boyfriend fuck you and get you in this situation, and its pretty bad to just sit there and say you dont want it or to kill it when your in your 2nd trimester, I am sorry but i dont have sympathy for people who think like you........

Quoting ***Melz...Lollipop***:“ I can see your point that she is prolly suffering on the inside but I see the other persons point ... [snip!] ... that we were going to adopt but she m/c. Love is unconditional and if a baby being born breaks you up it wasnt meant to be.”

Your right on the money........... I am offended this is a forum for suffering and loss........ I lost 4 babies before I had my son and now am pregnant with my 6th and all is going well.... but it pisses me off she comes into this forum and just throws it in our faces about wanting to terminate this pregnancy and doesnt give a rats arse about it at all and is going to give it up for adoption..... There are other places to post this!