for the teen mommies

My little sister is the younges in my family. We feel the need to protect her and will always see her as a littl girl. So when she was 15 and started dating this guy that was20 we kinda freaked out. Honestly we couldn't see what a 20 year old man wanted with a 15 year old girl that didn't even have herboobs yet. We were pissed off to be honest. So my husband told him that if he ever hurt her he would make sure that the pain that Tabby felt emotionally would be equal to the pain that this guy would feel physically! Tabby is now 17, just 2 weeks ago. The guy is almost 22 and for the last 2 years he has cheated on her and strung her along. Then they broke up. Yesterday I get a call from Tabby, she is 6 weeks pregnant. Do I think that 17 is young for having a baby? Yes! Do I think that her life is over and the baby is doomed to have a terrible life? No! I think that Tabby will love this baby. Tabby is very immature though. I worry about her.I will help her with anything. Butmy question to the other teen moms is...How can I help without overstepping and taking the responsibility away from her? I want her to finish school. I want her to at least get a high school diploma. How do I help her finish school and be a mom? I want to help my baby sister but I also want her to be responsible for her baby. If I do everything for her I don't think that would help her. I think that would make her think that having a baby is no big deal and it isn't hard at all. But it is a big deal and it is so hard. So teen moms in your opinion how can I be here for her and help her without doing it all for her?

I would say the best thing you can do is encourage her. Is she thinking about dropping out of school or something?

Im not a teen mom but I would have to say let her do her own thing. Help her when she needs help and be there for her when she needs someone. Help her realize how important it is to atleast finish highschool and that youll be there for her nomater what but dont do everything for her to the point to where she takes advantage of you.

when she has homework, and the kid wont stay asleep watch the baby for her.... Encourage her.... Dont let her be depended on a man to take care of her... If she has trouble, just guide her... Most importantly NEVER give up on her...

Quoting Samantha Michelle:“ I would say the best thing you can do is encourage her. Is she thinking about dropping out of school or something?”

See that's the thing. She wants me to take care of her baby while she finishes school. She has it all worked out. I'll watch the baby while she's in school and then while she does homework and on game nights and dance nights and all that high school has to offer. No I don't mind helping her while she's in school at all, I just don't want her to rely on me all the time. I do have 5 kids and go to college myself so I know it's hard to do homework with a screaming kid. I am just worried that she will come to expect me to take the baby and forget that she is the mommy.

Just be there for her but dont actually do things for her. I mean if she needs advice or has questions or your opinion be that for her but dont go do her homework, or take care of her child. Does the loser 22 year old know?

i think the best thing you can do is show her that she doesnt need that POS guy in her life to love and raise her baby..and try to get it in her head that you CARE and arent trying to CONTROL..cause if you say shes immature, she will see your concerns as trying to control what she does!

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ See that's the thing. She wants me to take care of her baby while she finishes school. She has it all ... [snip!] ... with a screaming kid. I am just worried that she will come to expect me to take the baby and forget that she is the mommy.”

I honestly probably wouldn't even do that much, like if she's at a breaking point then I'd step in and watch the kid while she finishes her homework, but she got herself into this wheather she meant to or not and she should take full responsibility. Watching the baby while she's at school is fine but anytime she's out of school it should be her watching it, IMO.

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ See that's the thing. She wants me to take care of her baby while she finishes school. She has it all ... [snip!] ... with a screaming kid. I am just worried that she will come to expect me to take the baby and forget that she is the mommy.”

honestly, she doesnt need to go to game nights... and she doesnt need to go any school dances that arent the important ones(prom, homecoming).... Bc when shes in school shes away from her baby and she should would want to spend as much time with her baby... as for watching the baby for her while shes at school isnt a bad idea at least you and her would know that the baby is somewhere safe and with someone they can trust.... I didnt go to any games and went to prom and homecoming that was it... Id rather be with my kids than a stupid HS game

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ See that's the thing. She wants me to take care of her baby while she finishes school. She has it all ... [snip!] ... with a screaming kid. I am just worried that she will come to expect me to take the baby and forget that she is the mommy.”

I don't think highschool parties and dances are nessasary to go to once you become a mother. Maybe once in awhile for a big event like prom you could help her but only if you have the time and energy. If you wathc her baby all day everyday she will learn that she can pawn him/her off to you whenever she wants. I would say encourage her and help her to find her own daycare for during the day while she's at school. That way she HAS to come pick the baby up when she gets out. There are ways she can get cheap or free daycare. I think as far as homework goes. If you are available you can help her out... or if she has a big final to study for or something. But other than that I think should have to figure it out on her own. She can't pick and choose when it is convinient for her to be a mommy. I know you want to help but you shouldn't stress yourself out over it. Its her baby not yours and she needs to realize that having a baby isn't easy and it isn't always fun. SHE has to be willing to make sacrafices NOT you. You made yours with your own kids. I think you should guide her to do the right thing but don't do the right thing for her. I think teen parents (when not enabled by an adult) actually become more independant and show more drive once they have a baby. When she realizes this baby is dependant of her and not anyone else she will most likely try a lot harder at everything she does.

i had my baby in May and walked the stage at my high school graduation and got my cosmotogly licence in june   what helped me the most was having some one to hang out with, this may sound dumb, but my friends fell off the face of the earth, except one, who ws my best friend and pretty much sister since i can remeber, we hung out all the time, if it wasnt for her i would have just sat at home, depressed that all my "friends" were out having fun, wile i ruined my senior year getting pregnant. and my fiances family (my fiance is in the nacy and i was alone most of my pregancy) they would have me over at least 2 times a week, just for dinner or whatever. days were i did nothing and just sat around really got me down, becasue i would see on myspace pictures from dances and whatever that i wouldnt dare go to the size of a blimp  and think of all the fun i should be having. i stayed at school untill i was a week over due and would have gone the next day had i not whent in to labor.

just be there for her, ask her to hang out, listen if she needs some one to talk to, and tell her your proud shes not giving up.

Quoting BabyDance:“ Just be there for her but dont actually do things for her. I mean if she needs advice or has questions ... [snip!] ... or your opinion be that for her but dont go do her homework, or take care of her child. Does the loser 22 year old know?”

He does know but his new girlfriend told him that he had to choose between her and his baby that won't even be here until Feb. He said that he wants to sign over his rights now. My husband, that offered to go with Tab to tell him, told him that that wasn't an option until he sees and holds his child and that if after that he still wanted to be a deadbeat then it could be discussed. He agreed because my husband is by no means a small man and bench presses 415 lbs., not someone that I would argue with. Even though the guy is a POS my hubby knows a little about not wanting a child and then falling in love with her the moment he met her and held her in his arms so he didn't want him to make that decision right away. However the POS's mom wants to be in the baby's life and help out with money and diapers and clothes, she says. So it could go either way.

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ See that's the thing. She wants me to take care of her baby while she finishes school. She has it all ... [snip!] ... with a screaming kid. I am just worried that she will come to expect me to take the baby and forget that she is the mommy.”

she wont care about game nights and dances when she see's that baby.
i was planning on going to my prom but took my dress back and sold my tickets and baught my baby new toys  

Quoting Erica [=)]:“ i had my baby in May and walked the stage at my high school graduation and got my cosmotogly licence ... [snip!] ... be there for her, ask her to hang out, listen if she needs some one to talk to, and tell her your proud shes not giving up.”

Congrats. I think it's great that you didn't give up on your education. Thanks for the advice.

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ Congrats. I think it's great that you didn't give up on your education. Thanks for the advice.”

as for the pos wanting to sign his right away..if he does end up doing it, i bet he regrets it for the rest of his life