Empathy.. Sympathy.. No energy

I have this girlfriend who's having her first baby. I have had two babies and two miscarriages. I have a truckload of nieces and nephew so pregnancies are nothing new to me. Anyhow I feel bad'cause I dred when she calls. It's always something. "I can't go to work, I feel sick." or the latest reasoning behind not wanting to hang out because she's on bed rest. Sure she can't come over and hang out but she can go to the nail salon and get her hands and feet done. I just want to shake her and yell " YOU'RE HAVING A BABY"
Hell I worked literally up until 2 days before I gave birth. My sisters and I were very active throughout our pregnancies to point of rearranging furniture and taking up carpet.. Am I a bad friend for not having the patience to deal?

yep...I'd say you could def be more sympathetic.

If she's not feeling well enough to work and has been put on bedrest...it sounds like she wasn't exaggerating. Would you want her to have a preemie b/c you want to do manis and pedis??

I understand the not working thing but I do agree some women are too dramatic with pregnancy.

Absolutely not! You are dealing with two children of your own! I mean yea, it's nice to know that you're there for a friend in a scary/exciting time, but seriously, you have your own life you have to take care of and your own worries!

I have a friend who is a lot like that. Well, sorta. Her mom had cancer 7 years ago and developed lymphedema in her arm from it, so recently she has been just nagging me about everything and I told her straight up, I love you and wish I could be there for you, but I'm dealing with a lot right now (I'm only 8 weeks, 19 and in college!)

Most importantly, take care of yourself and your beautful babies  

Quoting Lindsaaaay:“ Absolutely not! You are dealing with two children of your own! I mean yea, it's nice to know that you're ... [snip!] ... a lot right now (I'm only 8 weeks, 19 and in college!) Most importantly, take care of yourself and your beautful babies  ”

Uhm..you missed the point. The friend won't do things w/ the OP. It's not that the OP is tired of doing things w/ the friend...

If pregnancys and pain tolerance was the same in each woman I would say yes your justified but it's not. My other two pregnancys were so easy I loved being pregnant then when I wasn't. This time however has been Pure HELL. I haven't been able to do anything that I used to and have been so sick. So just be patient with her and soon she will be back to her old self

Quoting MamaJ_07:“ I have this girlfriend who's having her first baby. I have had two babies and two miscarriages. I have ... [snip!] ... our pregnancies to point of rearranging furniture and taking up carpet.. Am I a bad friend for not having the patience to deal?”

Every pregnancy is different, and just because you could do all those things doesn't mean she feels like she can. You need to be a better friend to her.

just try to remember your first pregnancy. even if you werent like that, everyones different. just try to be a little more supportive. and if shes a true friend you should be able to sit down and talk to her (but be careful with what words you choose to use, some pregnant people are sensitive!) and tell her what irriatates you but make it clear you're there to help her threw this.

Quoting CatLuvr83:“ yep...I'd say you could def be more sympathetic. If she's not feeling well enough to work and has ... [snip!] ... on bedrest...it sounds like she wasn't exaggerating. Would you want her to have a preemie b/c you want to do manis and pedis??”

No sweetie you missed the point! She won't come hang out at the housse but she went and got her nails done!!!! Do I seem like someone who could afford that luxury? I have two kids hell I can barely manage to go to the bathroom in peace

Quoting CatLuvr83:“ yep...I'd say you could def be more sympathetic. If she's not feeling well enough to work and has ... [snip!] ... on bedrest...it sounds like she wasn't exaggerating. Would you want her to have a preemie b/c you want to do manis and pedis??”

she said the girl wont hang out with her, but she will go get her nails and feet done.

Quoting mama3:“ If pregnancys and pain tolerance was the same in each woman I would say yes your justified but it's not. ... [snip!] ... able to do anything that I used to and have been so sick. So just be patient with her and soon she will be back to her old self”

Neither of my pregnancies were easy but that didn't give me the go ahead to lay in bed and wait for people to come to me.. the only time she seems to have is if someone comes to her. but she went to a shower out of town and to the nail salon... how can you manage those things when you're on bedrest dying from having a baby? I have time for the serious stuff not the whining

If she is that much of a burden on you I would let her go for a while.

I even told her about this site... you know so she could have more of a support system people who can be unjuding people who may be going through what she is... she doesn't have the energy to get out of bed and sit at the computer that's in the corner of the same room

sounds lazy... hah just wait till the baby comes.

but maybe she doesnt have motivation to do most things. i knwo i dread a lot of things and i have to force myself to do it.

Quoting mama3:“ If she is that much of a burden on you I would let her go for a while.”

I love her.. but between two kids a husband and work it's just feels like drama.this is a helpful way of venting without hurting her feelings i know how the hormones get