Maid of HONOR?? any advice?

Ok, so me and Randy got engaged on June 25 2007, and are getting married in October of this year. My best friend, Ashley assumed she was Matron of Honor, even though I told her my other friend Nicole was. So i just said, ok no sense in fighting, I'll have 2! Even though these 2 gals hate each other. So a week later, Ashley and her hubby split up because he hit her! So she moves back to town, and then sulks and refuses to start helping with ANY planning, only sulks about her wedding just a year ago. So i let it slide, I do ALL my dress shopping by myself, because after 1 excuse after another, Ash wont go. My other Maid of Honor, Nicole, is busy planning other things for this wedding. So in Oct of 2007, Ashley goes BACK to the idiot and forgives her husband. In september, i find out I was pregnant, and Of course, she (ashley) assumes she is GOD MOTHER! So goes on for months about how she is god mother, blah blah. Finally in April, I had enough back bone to tell her Nicole was all along (I know i should have told her before hand). So that of course put a rift in it. Well In March of 08, Ash leaves her Husband AGAIN, saying he was sleeping with MEN! In April was my baby shower, and she was supposed to help throw it, she yelled at my grandmother, didnt do ANY of the games, or purchase ANY of the prizes or anything!! She just sat in the corner and bitched the whole time how my shower was too long and tacky! Sooo..I go into Labor on May 9th, and she tells my Fiance and his mother that one of them needs to pass out or freak out and leave the room so she can be in there w/ me! She actually said my fiances mother didnt deserve to be in there! So now it's July, and I asked her in June that if she had anything figured out for the wedding, bridal shower or bach. party? She was like "Oh, No, I totally forgot you were getting married!" So i blew up and said "You need to resign as matron of honor, Nicole needs to be in charge." I explained to her not only her actions w/ the pregnancy and wedding have led to her demotion, but also her lack of planning and maturity about her own marriage. So, July 16th, her divorce is supposed to be final, she goes BACK to her husband for a 3rd time, and then says all the fights, abuse and gay sex her husband was involved w/ was a lie she told me to get me on her side!  So i just told her Nicole would be contacting her about the shower, if she still felt it neccesary to be in the wedding.

So here's today! Nicole as booked the Granville Inn for the bridal shower. We are having roughly 30 ppl attend, at 16.50 a person. Nicole is having the other 4 bridesmaids pay 100 bucks per person to throw this shower. I told nicole i didnt care what kind of shower I had, just make it nice!   Well Ashley said she REFUSES to pay for it, that the shower needs to be held at someones house or NOT AT ALL! Mind you, when I was her maid of honor, I paid of 800 bucks for everything, and threw her shower, by myself, at a COUNTRY CLUB that she HAD to have it at, and food was catered in, and it was a coctail party, guss who paid for the drinks?? ME! So i explained this to her and she is refusing to talk to me, and is uber pissed that she is no longer maid of honor, will not stand by me at my wedding, or sign my marriage license. Am I unreasonable? Should i ask her to leave the bridal party? Or just drop her crappy attitude and be a friend? She didn't start acting like this until Randy proposed. She has been a bitch ever since? Anyone have advice as to why she is like this?? GAH! 

*Sorry so long!!* I needs to vent a bit!

Quoting Jennifer and Thomas:“ Uhhhh you need to like drop her from the wedding all together. That's just friggin ridiculous. If it were me I would revoke her damn invitation!”

lol, you sound like my grandmother did!!  

Quoting Felecia13:“ lol, you sound like my grandmother did!!  ”

Well listen to grandma! She's spot on! lol

Quoting Jennifer and Thomas:“ Well listen to grandma! She's spot on! lol”

lol ok!

She has a horrible attitude the entire time. I believe that you did the right thing. The maid of honor is supposed to be supportive and has a lot of duties in helping the bride. Your friend was just a bitch.

maybe she likes him and is pissed that she cant have him? lol i dunno.. but i wouldnt invite her.. at all.

but thats just me.

i have a friend who asked me if she could be god mother... i didnt answer her, but i already have one.

its funny when your "friends" think they can just do what they want when it isnt their place to do so

I would drop her from the wedding party. She knew the responsibilites of a Matron of honor and wanted them so bad now that she got it she doesn't want to putin the work. You don't need her stressing you out when planning a wedding is stressful enough.

Honey at this point i would drop her from the wedding party and even tell her unless she straightens up and stops acting like a bitch then you will take away her invitation.

UGH that is ridiculous.

I'm somewhat in the same boat, except with less drama lol. I want my best friend to my maid of honor but my best friend since 6th grade just assumes that she is going to be the maid of honor. I feel like just saying "Whatever, we'll have two" But I think even that will create drama. And I KNOW if I say it's just the first one she will flip her shit and refuse to be in the wedding or even be my friend. Same thing if I have two and make her walk second. At least you have the balls to say something about it to her, I cannot ever say anything about it to her, blech.

Drop her from the wedding and from your list of friends. She is tooo some timey for me. 3 Strikes and your out.

Quoting Jennifer and Thomas:“ Uhhhh you need to like drop her from the wedding all together. That's just friggin ridiculous. If it were me I would revoke her damn invitation!”

I agree. She isn't your friends. She's ruining everything. Get rid of her and her drama. You deserve to be happy and she's steeling your happiness. WHAT A BITCH!

I'm usually anti-"I'm the bride, it's all about what you need to do for me" but regardless of what she should and shouldn't doing as a MOH, she just plain sucks as a friend and you need to wash your hands of her. The audacity that she'd assume she was your Matron of Honor, that you would want (or need) her in your delivery room or that she'd be your child's godmother after being a Primo Bitcher and Moaner is just- to use her own word- TACKY.

She's immature and selfish and is going to continue to horn in on your life since she can't get her shit together. Better now than to keep her strung along and in your business!

Thank you everyone..

I still havent talked to her much, but the bridesmaids have and it's a war!! She still wont return my phone calls..ugh!