re: Is it ok to snoop on your kids?

iwould and will def. go thru her things. my boyfriends brother has a 14 year old daughter and she is on lockdown. little does her father know, she is hanging out with guys from high school (and she is in junior high)..

but i do wanna have a trusting relationship with her but when and if it comes down to it. i will go thru her things if i feel like she is lying to my face

Quoting cherrya03:“ Yup this is the kind of relatioship I want with my kids too that they can come to me for anything. ... [snip!] ... mean that I would step in and do what I could to find out what was going on to step in and protect them. Thats all I'm saying.”

Yeah I think we are too. I mean, if I think he'son hardcore drugsor something then yeah I'm going to help, whatever it takes. If I think he might have not turned in his geometry homework, I'm not gonna go through his stuff trying to figure it out. LoL

You can trust your kids all you want and try to protect them, however, they will be kids....

I think that a certain level of privacy needs to be maintained. I want my children to be able to come to me with an issue before I find it.

Quoting ~Expecting #2~:“ Yeah I think we are too. I mean, if I think he'son hardcore drugsor something then yeah I'm going to ... [snip!] ... If I think he might have not turned in his geometry homework, I'm not gonna go through his stuff trying to figure it out. LoL”

lol I agree.

I completely agree with most of you. I think parents have the right to go through their children's things...that are ACTUALLY the parents' to begin with! Children with TOO much privacy (and those with none at all) tend to get into the most trouble. I had a friend in high school who got to do whatever she wanted and she was wild. I had another friend who wasn't allowed to do hardly anything and she was just as wild.

I'm hoping, like most of you, to have the kind of relationship with my daughter (and future kids) where she can talk to me about anything. I want her to come to me about boys and all of that! If she gets in trouble, I want to be the parent she tells (instead of the one she is afraid of telling). However we will have boundaries and she will know that I will put down the law if need be. I want her to be able to keep a journal because sometimes it's easier to let things out there than to someone else. I don't want her to keep her thoughts and feelings inside because she fears I'm gonna read it. However, like many of you, if I have reason to believe she is going to come inot harm or something like that, hell yea I will read that journal!

We all just want to protect our kids, and sometimes invading whatever privacy they think they have is the best way to do that.

ONLY if I have a reason. I'd love for my son to have privacy, but if he starts acting weird or anything, I will be going through some things.

i would do it in aheartbeat even if i dont suspect anything but too see what he is up too. My mom did it to me so I dont see no wrong in it.

Quoting *Erika* aka Miz_pooka:“ I completely agree with most of you. I think parents have the right to go through their children's things...that ... [snip!] ... We all just want to protect our kids, and sometimes invading whatever privacy they think they have is the best way to do that.”

Very well said!!! Thats just how I feel too. My husband and I oftend disagree.
For example: If we ever were to have a daughter and she came to me and told me she was starting to become sexually active. I am taking her ass for a pap and getting her on birth control & getting her some condoms. Why??? Well because she's going to have sex anyway and I want her to be as protected as possible. My husband says that will just promote her having sex. Not always.... whatever i dont care. Daddy doesnt need to know. lol

Quoting ~Terra~ CowgirlUP:“ Very well said!!! Thats just how I feel too. My husband and I oftend disagree. For example: If we ever ... [snip!] ... My husband says that will just promote her having sex. Not always.... whatever i dont care. Daddy doesnt need to know. lol”

My husband and I have disagreed about this as well. As much as I'd like to believe I'd act cooly and rationally to the news my eldest was having sex, truth be told I'd probably freak. She's my baby and I'll never be able to think of her as grown up. So mommy might need some cool off time, a bottle of Captian and a good long cry before deciding what to do.

Quoting J&LsMommy:“ My husband and I have disagreed about this as well. As much as I'd like to believe I'd act cooly and ... [snip!] ... of her as grown up. So mommy might need some cool off time, a bottle of Captian and a good long cry before deciding what to do.”

OOO you are sooo right. Dont get me wrong, I'd be upset. But, I want my children to be able to come to me with these things.   Cptn is goood stuff!

Quoting ~Terra~ CowgirlUP:“ Very well said!!! Thats just how I feel too. My husband and I oftend disagree. For example: If we ever ... [snip!] ... My husband says that will just promote her having sex. Not always.... whatever i dont care. Daddy doesnt need to know. lol”

Ditto this! There are some things Daddy dosent need to know lol

Quoting Dev22:“ Ditto this! There are some things Daddy dosent need to know lol”

So true. My hubby says "sorry I just cant think of some young man doing my daughter"...
My response is, well she'll be doin it anyhow. I'd rather her be protected.

Quoting ~Terra~ CowgirlUP:“ OOO you are sooo right. Dont get me wrong, I'd be upset. But, I want my children to be able to come to me with these things.   Cptn is goood stuff!”

My hope is that my kids will always feel comfortable coming to be butI don't think it's unlikely. I will always be a parent before I am a friend so chances are my daughter will hate me throughout her teen years, LOL.

I love Captian and Dr. Pepper mixed together. *sigh* In another 8 months or so.

Quoting ~Terra~ CowgirlUP:“ Very well said!!! Thats just how I feel too. My husband and I oftend disagree. For example: If we ever ... [snip!] ... My husband says that will just promote her having sex. Not always.... whatever i dont care. Daddy doesnt need to know. lol”

I there with you! My daughter's father doesn't like the fact that I said as soon as Sanaa is sexually active, I'm putting her on birth control. I don't care what he think...we'll do it behind his back! I just don't think young girls are ready for the responsibility of becoming parents. On top of that, I REALLY don't want her to get an STD or HIV. So I will take her to the doctor, get her tested and have a pap (if she's already done it), and get her a Rx for the pill. AND we're going to CVS to get a big pack of condoms! I'm gonna make sure she takes her pill at the same time everyday and I will require her to tell me who she is having sex with. It's not that I won't trust her...I'm less likely to trust the little boys!

Of course, I hope she'll wait to have sex until she's "old enough" (who knows when that really is), but it probably won't happen. I just want her to be as safe as she can be so that she doesn't end up a statistic.

conversations like that make me glad I have boys for some reason.