bittersweet goodbye...

Tomorrow is the day ladies... The last day Garrett has to change his mind... The last day he can choose to be with me and accept this baby and love us both. I know Im stupid for even letting it drag out as long as it has, but ultimately, I had hoped he would love me enough to get past the paternity of this child and choose me over her. Doesnt look so well right now. He had supposedly made his decision last week, but Im still giving him until tomorrow to change his mind, since that was the deadline I gave him almost a month ago, he had until July. Im not expecting him to have changed his mind by tomorrow... So this is my bittersweet goodbye. The end to three and half years of my life. Maybe this baby is exactly what I needed to end this on again off again whirlwind once and for all.

i am sorry and it might be for the best for you and your little one

im not really sure whats going on....but good luck to you and little Sawyer!

I dont know the full story but it sounds like you are giving him too much credit and he is not worthy of it. You make him feel too important. He should go to you on his own wishes and not because he has an ultimatum from you or a deadline. I mean, if he really wanted to, do you think you needed to give him this much time to decide? I dont think so. He should have been with you from the beginning.
You seem like a strong woman and soon to be Mum. You will be all right without him. You won't want to be in a situation where you get blamed everytime something goes wrong because you were the one who 'forced' him to be with you.
I hope I don't sound too harsh but it seems that way to me.

I suggest leave him alone. If he loves you, he should love everyone you love. Not just you. Let him be. If he comes, then don't let him in easy otherwise you will be constantly miserable because you would be 'leaving the ball in his court' and you have no control over things.

All the best to you and your child.

I still can't grasp how so many fathers can bear to give up their children. It makes me want to fight all of them. Really.

Sigh. So what about the guy you'd been dating who has a daughter and seemed like a decent person?

Also, what do you mean when you say that you hoped he'd "get past the paternity of the child"? Is he denying he's the father?

Anyway, in the interest of preserving your self-worth, let him go. Only good things can come out of it. You'll be free to find the person who really deserves you and your son.

Quoting RadMom:“ I still can't grasp how so many fathers can bear to give up their children. It makes me want to fight ... [snip!] ... let him go. Only good things can come out of it. You'll be free to find the person who really deserves you and your son.”

No, I guess I really need to explain the entirety of the situation. Garrett and I had been dating on and off for the past three and a half years. In October of 2007 I had been told my chances of having children were slim and getting slimmer... At that point Garrett and I were already getting somewhat rocky. Nothing was really said as far as trying for a baby. In December of 2007, I caught him in a very innappropriate situation, and he lied about it and I found out the truth and ended it with no intention of ever looking back. A few weeks later, I had started dating an ex from when I was a lot younger, that I had dated for almost two years. Things seemed to work out well for us, and I had told him about the reproductive issue, and we had decided very early on to pass on using any type of contraceptive, not necessarily TTC, not wanting the heartache involved with that, but not trying to prevent conceiving in any way. And it worked a lot faster than I would have though, I found out I was pregnant at the end of January. And then things didnt work out with him.... And I went back to Garrett, who at first was very excited about the baby, even though it wasnt his. And again, things didnt work out, I felt like he was still mad about the baby not being his. I dunno, Im at work and I dont have the time to explain in as much detail as Id like, but I hope that helps...

And as far as that guy I was dating, didnt work out with him either. He wasnt what I was looking for and I knew I wasnt going to love him.

Quoting PregnantRebel!:“ No, I guess I really need to explain the entirety of the situation. Garrett and I had been dating on ... [snip!] ... as that guy I was dating, didnt work out with him either. He wasnt what I was looking for and I knew I wasnt going to love him.”

I'm sorry for the heartache you're feeling. That's a really complicated situation. Maybe you'll hear from him tomorrow. If you don't, try to remember that you're amazing and beautiful all by yourself. Having a partner is fantastic, but you can be happy and fulfilled on your own, too. And like I said before, you've got a million chances and lifetime to meet the person who is right and who deserves you. Could be Garrett, could be someone else.  

Quoting PregnantRebel!:“ Tomorrow is the day ladies... The last day Garrett has to change his mind... The last day he can choose ... [snip!] ... and half years of my life. Maybe this baby is exactly what I needed to end this on again off again whirlwind once and for all.”

i'm sorry to hear that. everything works out for a reason. just do whats best for you and your baby

i think the best you can do right now is give him space. Sometimes positive space gives the clarity of mind - and who knows, maybe in his own time, he will have a change of heart - it is not an easy decision for any man to make, to swallow his own pride and accept another man's child with someone he loves. 
His indecisiveness means he is also finding it hard to just walk away from you. Give him time and space, don't let the pregnancy hormones get in between you two and making things worse. Be calm and let him know that you really value him in your life and hope things could work out for you two - and leave it at that. Be strong for yourself and your baby. Know that you ARE young and strong and beautiful and happiness IS still very possible.  
I hope everything works out for you. I send you a smile.
xxx

im also havin relationship problems, its harder when u r pregnant...i've decided i cant force someone to love me so i jus let it b...dun stress

idk i dont really have an answer except maybe space. I got pregnant very quickly after breaking it off with my boyfriend of 3 yrs {3 months later i was expecting without even realizing it but w/e shyt happens} now the father of my baby has dropped the ball because he loves his girfriend who will not allow the reality of this chid but whatever....anyway im not back together with my ex and for awhile he thought he could get over it then decided he couldnt {we were just being friends} and stopped talking to me for sometime but i gave him space and left it alone and now we're actually becoming closer....he helps me with the baby more than BD and i think hes getting over it {not completly but lets be honest neither would i} anyway it seems like space is the only thing that works for us and its because we were that on again off again crazy drama couple but i think we're becoming more adults and lless self centered and so its working in our favor, not to say we're back together or even headed that route but we are drawn to eachother against al odds and everyones advisement and i think space was what was best for us so i say dont pressure him just take it one day ata time and when YOU need space take it dont be afraid to take it cuz u owe him something for being there for u and the baby, that wont work, he knows the truth it isnt a lie so the relationship needs to run as "normaly" as u can .....

I feel like a dick... Garretts birthday was 2 days ago andfor the first time since Ive known him, I didnt wish him a happy birthday in any way.... My birthday is next week and he just texted me and said "Hey I wanted to say happy birthday now since I wont be around for it" I dont even know if I should respond. I feel like such a bitch for saying nothing on his.

I'm sorry you're going thru this. I can really feel your pain. I guess it's the not knowing what he's going to do that has you on edge.
I'm probably not the one to be giving advice right now, and I'm not really. All I can say is yeah, it's 3 years of your life you can't get back but, it's also 3 years worth of experience. To know what you want and will or will not tolerate. I say gain strength from that and try to move on. Much luck to you and your baby.

Quoting PregnantRebel!:“ I feel like a dick... Garretts birthday was 2 days ago andfor the first time since Ive known him, I didnt ... [snip!] ... now since I wont be around for it" I dont even know if I should respond. I feel like such a bitch for saying nothing on his.”

i would change the number - let him have ur mom's number if he wants to communicate regarding the baby. otherwise tell him he's stalking and you will call the police if needed.

Quoting PregnantRebel!:“ I feel like a dick... Garretts birthday was 2 days ago andfor the first time since Ive known him, I didnt ... [snip!] ... now since I wont be around for it" I dont even know if I should respond. I feel like such a bitch for saying nothing on his.”

been there ....... and i was a bitch on my birthday to him to but like i said space space space and when u do talk just talk normally dont make and in depth serious convos when u know u 2 dont agree on somethings strt with stupid simple things like shows u both ike or weird inside jokes u used to have it works im telling u